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> the best way to get things from others is to understand where they stand emotionally and to show reciprocation and support, i.e. empathy. This is the dangero

> the best way to get things from others is to understand where they stand emotionally and to show reciprocation and support, i.e. empathy. This is the dangerous line this article is suggestive toward: empathy as a tool for manipulative gain. I wonder if someone truly naturally capable of understanding differing perspectives would even write such an article. It sounds more like a robot discovering a trick they can utilize to score points. I think empathy is a sense. When I read some people talking about it in this way, it feels like deaf people thinking they're able to hear music because they found a trick of feeling the speaker's bass.

Kalium 12y ago
> This is the dangerous line this article is suggestive toward: empathy as a tool for manipulative gain. It's also the main thrust of famous works such as "How To Make Friends And Influence People".
grownseed 12y ago
I can't help but feel a little offended by your reply but I think I can also understand where you're coming from. To give some perspective, hearing the bass is not a trick, it's your way towards understanding how to listen, or rather feel music differently. Bass is the most obvious thing for most deaf people, so it helps you realize "how the whole thing works". You then gradually realize than you do feel the entire spectrum through your skin, bones, etc., you just have to dedicate a certain amount of effort to it. For reference, I'm the only musician in my family, I got interested in playing piano at age five, had a innate sense for basic chords, while having absolutely no hearing.
- dang 12y ago
  > I can't help but feel a little offended by your reply but I think I can also understand where you're coming from. It's not hard to see how you might feel offended by a comment that took the very experience you were talking about (deafness) and used it to contrive an example of not one, but two repugnant qualities. Yet instead of lashing out, you channeled that into understanding, while still honoring your own reaction. That takes both subtlety and skill. Thanks for giving us an example of the thing we're talking about.
  - simonebrunozzi 12y ago
    And I didn't even notice, so thanks for pointing that out. Agreed, great example.

Kalium 12y ago

> This is the dangerous line this article is suggestive toward: empathy as a tool for manipulative gain. It's also the main thrust of famous works such as "How To Make Friends And Influence People".

grownseed 12y ago

I can't help but feel a little offended by your reply but I think I can also understand where you're coming from. To give some perspective, hearing the bass is not a trick, it's your way towards understanding how to listen, or rather feel music differently. Bass is the most obvious thing for most deaf people, so it helps you realize "how the whole thing works". You then gradually realize than you do feel the entire spectrum through your skin, bones, etc., you just have to dedicate a certain amount of effort to it. For reference, I'm the only musician in my family, I got interested in playing piano at age five, had a innate sense for basic chords, while having absolutely no hearing.

dang 12y ago
> I can't help but feel a little offended by your reply but I think I can also understand where you're coming from. It's not hard to see how you might feel offended by a comment that took the very experience you were talking about (deafness) and used it to contrive an example of not one, but two repugnant qualities. Yet instead of lashing out, you channeled that into understanding, while still honoring your own reaction. That takes both subtlety and skill. Thanks for giving us an example of the thing we're talking about.
- simonebrunozzi 12y ago
  And I didn't even notice, so thanks for pointing that out. Agreed, great example.