Not everyone has had the same negative social experiences. I was very lucky to go to a school where being an outsider with nerdy interests was respected so long

Not everyone has had the same negative social experiences. I was very lucky to go to a school where being an outsider with nerdy interests was respected so long as you did it with passion, aspired to excellence, and were not afraid to show others what you found cool; and we were expected to have the same respect for the sportsmen, musicians, artists etc. In a sense we were all doing the same thing through different outlets. It's a culture I'm very proud to have been a part of and it produced some great people in many different fields. In contrast, in my programming niche, I frequently feel uncomfortable with the level of aggression and exclusion on display - every comment on a forum seems like you are exposing yourself to ridicule and judgement. Conversely, in pure maths forums, which I also participate in, the atmosphere is far more welcoming, open, patient and respectful of good work. I think the problem is that in computing it is far easier to be a dilettante and much harder to tell the difference. Yes, all communities will have their dicks, but responding with aggression and elitism pollutes the community for everyone and encourages hostile and collective responses from others: be sure that the dicks are a lot better at playing hardball and ganging up together than we are. Let's take some responsibility for creating communities we're proud to be a part of. Please.