I can't tell if your last line is flagged with /s but all I will say that it perfectly illustrate the lack of tolerance that drives nerds away. I'm going to gen

I can't tell if your last line is flagged with /s but all I will say that it perfectly illustrate the lack of tolerance that drives nerds away. I'm going to generalize here. The description of nerd withdrawal that you give actively implies that the nerd has aggressively attacked someone by TRYING NOT TO BE SEEN. The nerd is trying to avoid conflict because it is a giant waste of time and frankly is pretty depressing. This behavior is the interpreted exactly as your last line reads as "hateful" and "weird." This interpretation leads to a personal attack from the afflicted whereas the nerd was simply trying to avoid any of this. It is like saying that nerds should know better when the stereotype that is forced upon them (often correctly) is that they are often utterly unaware of their affect on other people. That the afflicted does not have the empathy to recognize the crippling social ineptness (in the eyes of appropriate society) of the nerd leads to directed attacks (often call bullying in the rest of the world). When a nerd withdraws it is directed at no one. I am NOT giving the nerd an out for bad behavior. I am saying that nerds often speak their minds without stopping to check who is listening because they don't do the primate thing of checking to see who is going to beat their ass every time they speak and they intentionally formed their own society so they didn't have to. Most nerds will apologize if someone reminds them that other people near by might not feel comfortable hearing certain discussions, but don't be surprised if some of them ask why that someone was listening in the first place. tl;dr Generalization: Nerd withdrawal is rarely directed at anyone, it is a defence mechanism. Responses to nerd withdrawal or nerds expressing themselves (in their blithely unaware way) are often direct attacks on the nerd. This asymmetry is what drives me nuts.