> you're never going to receive a set of rules that you just have to follow like a checklist, because the same behaviors can be consensual and encouraged betwee

> you're never going to receive a set of rules that you just have to follow like a checklist, because the same behaviors can be consensual and encouraged between one pair of people, and non-consensual and creepy between another pair of people. That's normal. And awful. That's one reason that this problem looms larger in technical circles: we're already far more likely than the average to be socially awkward or otherwise ill-equipped to navigate these waters. I can be a fun and flirty person in the right group, but at work I do my best to act as though I am completely without sex/gender and as though everyone else is, too. If sexual, gendered, or racial topics come up, I say nothing on those topics and try to extricate myself from the situation. If the situation is around my desk, I quietly dive back into work. This is the only way to have an acceptably low risk of late night realization that I said something that someone could have taken as harassment.