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Ask HN: What should I do if I feel depressed in my job?

• brianwawok 12y ago
  Is it cold where you live? Vitamin D may help last you till summer. If not, consider a vacation ;)
  • DaRaam 12y ago
    For anyone feeling depressed about earning top Dollar in a cosy secure job think of how it could be.. I am a student part time and work full time 6-6 in a factory getting covered in egg mess every day for £280 a week You heard that right not per day. Per week. I hope to become a developer someday. Work is work i will code for anyone who will pay me especially if the are offering a weeks pay per day to type at a desk in a nice office. My advice is to keep in mind that you are being paid for your time. Leaving would obviously as more stress to your life. So find something interesting to do side project or hobby until you can leave your current position. Also remember it could be a lot worse. You could be scrapping by on the bottom of the ladder.
• ghettoCoder 12y ago
  If you truly think it's depression then please see someone about that. Don't mess around. If you're just feeling blue and down about your current station in life and powerlessness to resolve it at the moment then ... Not to be snarky, but congratulations, you've arrived at the prerequisite state before figuring out what you really want to do. Use this time to plan. Do something. Anything. And get a hobby you enjoy. Seriously. You need to feel personal growth and progress. Work or hobby. It's all the same.
• nazgul 12y ago
  Definitely see a professional. They are the only ones that can tell how serious your depression is and recommend actual therapies for it.
• iblaine 12y ago
  Have a hobby to make you happy, another for fun and another for health.
• nojvek 12y ago
  Thanks guys. I definitely will start a side project and start working out.
• DanBC 12y ago
  Feeling low at work or because of work really sucks. I am sorry to hear you're going through a rough patch. There's some good news: you have recognised this, and you want to change things. In England: your employer has a duty to protect you from harm in the workplace. This includes stress, anxiety or depression. Your employer may have an occupational health telephone helpline. Some people say they don't trust employer provided helplines. You could go private: BACP are reputable accreditors for psychological therapies. Or you can use NHS services: do a websearch for your county name and words like "talking therapy" or maybe "cbt". These should take self-referral, but if not you go to your GP and ask for a talking therapy. Early intervention is important: recovery is quicker and stronger if intervention is early and good. There are also self-guided systems if you don't want to see anyone. Search for "books on prescription" to see curated lists of sensible books. "Mind Over Mood" is one that's frequently recommended. There's an Austrailian website: https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/ https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/ I recently spoke to about 50 different local employers about mental illness and work and they were all keen to do the right thing and to learn about mental health. So if you recognise something that would improve things for you at work it might be worth just having a chat with them. Finally: if you find things getting worse it might be worthwhile to create a "rainy day action plan". This would be a list of things that would trigger you into going to see your GP. For example, if you start having suicidal thoughts you should go and see someone. The rainy day action plan is normally used with severe enduring mental illness and can cover Advanced Directives, but they're useful for mild to moderate illness too.
• mrcold 12y ago
  Welcome to the club. We don't have free drinks or anything. Only endless depression and no will to continue. But seriously, things are fucked and it's only getting worse. I'm in the same shoes and I'm trying a startup in my spare time. Plus, the guy running our project decided to quit and leave me alone with a monster made out of spaghetti code. Just finished updating my resume, hoping I won't need to use it. Don't have any advice that could help. Because the problem is pure greed. Everybody is acting like a vicious greedy fuck, chasing money like there's no tomorrow. Life is now a river of shit and we're all just floating on the surface, waiting for an island or something. People don't seem to care about it either. Complacency is everywhere. Can't say I blame them. Anyway, the west is crumbling. Go to a cheaper country. With an IT job you will have enough.
  • EC1 12y ago
    The fuck? We're programmers. We have the easiest lives of the working class. I'm literally sitting here in my underwear, unshaven, drinking a beer, making stupid money for coding objectively pointless crap much like 99% of us. It's absurd. Lighten up.
    • 3pt14159 12y ago
      You work for liberty, like me. Others took the work visa to Microsoft land. It's a well monied but shitty place.
      • AdeptusAquinas 12y ago
        I work in MS land. Still pretty easy relatively speaking. I always feel slightly guilty when I think of my brothers who work in construction and hospitality respectively, for low-pay and long hours.
    • mrcold 12y ago
      I would be happy too if I was a freelancer working from home. Try cutting your income in half and going every day to an office to answer to a manager dumber than you. See how much you like it then.
• proee 12y ago
  You need to spend some time counseling yourself... 1. Go to a coffee shop or somewhere fun and start a list asking yourself "what do I REALLY want to achieve in my life?" (financial freedom, promotion within a company, launch a startup, run a marathon, etc.) 2. Wake up each day and start working toward achieving your goals. 3. If you're still not happy, then you need to re-evaluate your personal goals. 4. If you don't feel like you're making progress toward your goals, then maybe you're not taking enough risk. If you feel stuck in your current position, then start networking with other groups inside the company and express your desire to grow your career. Many companies allow you to transition between groups.
• gxs 12y ago
  Depression is a word that gets thrown around quite casually. If you think you are clinically depressed, seek the advice of a professional as it only gets worse. The usual things apply here: make sure you sleep well (not too little or too much), eat relatively healthy, and exercise plenty). Spend time with friends. If you're "just" going through a rough patch and are unsatisfied with work, then rest assured this is just part of being a professional. Some days I hate my job, other days I feel like the most fortunate person in the world. The professional part is that I show up regardless of how I am feeling and always deliver the best work I can. If you find yourself having more bad days than good days, then maybe it's time for a change. Start with an easy change- maybe ask to be put on a different project (ask in a tactful way) or team. Then if it still doesn't get better after a meaningful amount of time (6 months?) then you probably need a bigger change of scenery and should hunt for a new job.
• latj 12y ago
  EXERCISE. Study something with the goal of mastering it. Get involved in a non-profit that does something you think makes the world a better place. Teach your kids to grow up and live their life knowing that "the normal way" (go to school for 20 years, then sit in office majority of week days until you die) to live life isnt the only way to live life.
• krazydad 12y ago
  Read about Dropbox's crazy code review policies a few articles down... Your job will feel awesome by comparison.
• atlantic 12y ago
  I was in the same kind of situation as you 5 years ago. Decided to resign, sell my apartment, and move back to my country of origin, with a wife and kids, and no prospects of work. Just a leap in the dark. Went through a rough patch, eventually found enough remote work to make a living, with plenty of time to spare for the family. What can I say? Follow your heart.
• peterwwillis 12y ago
  No offense, but you probably are a code monkey, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. You may just need to reorient your world view. Consider a homeless person. If they had your job and your paycheck, they would be excited for the opportunity to afford shelter, food, and the stability that comes from a salary job. Looking back at living on the street, hobbling soaked wet through intersections begging for change, your job is a veritable dream come true. What's the difference between you and the homeless person? Perspective. Now consider the CEO of your company. He probably makes tens of millions a year. But do you think his first gig at a corporation was a starting salary with seven figures? Heck no; he probably had a boring job with a crappy boss. Yet it seems that his situation changed along with his fortunes. What's the difference between you and the CEO? Time. Now, i'm not saying you should just suck it up and deal with your lot in life. What I am saying is that the depression you feel now is a by-product of your perspective being locked at looking at your situation as a disadvantage, and the lack of vision of a better future. It's possible to reorient the way you look at your situation to be happier with where you are, and be happy about how much better it can get with time. Part of this improved mental state requires introspection, mindful awareness, and emotional growth. You can read various books or take workshops to help with this. It's also useful to find outlets for your restless mind and body, such as exercise, art, music, reading, etc. There's also growth to be had by being active with your family members [though I don't have any useful examples as i'm single]. Finally, therapy works, and I highly recommend talking to someone, both about your job and personal life. Personal growth in general will help you understand why you feel the way you do and how to work towards a better situation. Best of luck to you!
• freeasinfree 12y ago
  Just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American Way.
• deleted 12y ago
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• grecy 12y ago
  How long will you be on the L1 visa? Make a plan for what you'll do when you are no longer on that visa and free to get a job elsewhere, then start planning and preparing for that future. It will change the color of your days to know you're doing it with an end-goal in mind and you're not "stuck here forever".
• PublicEnemy111 12y ago
  I'm still early in my career, but my impression is that you can't code forever. At some point, you have to move into the business side of things in order to advance. I've heard rumors that there is a programmer making $3 million at Google, but the rest of us have to move into management to advance our careers.
• the_economist 12y ago
  The following things are proven to make you happier (and smarter!). I try to do all of them. 1) Exercise for at least 60 minutes/day. I recommend getting a pedometer and walking 12,000 steps/day, plus working out with weights 2-4 times/week 2) Gratitude -- try to spend time every day thinking about the things you are grateful for 3) Meditation -- 10 minutes/day. It works. Studies prove it! 4) Relationship with the sun -- try to get outside at noon every day 5) Eat an anti inflammatory diet. Inflammation is heavily correlated with depression. 6) Try to do something nice for at least one person every day. 7) Research sleep quality and follow all the best practices. 8) Take a Vitamin D supplement, just in case :) If you do all those things, you'll probably find yourself a lot happier at your job!
  • griffinmahon 12y ago
    I know that diet is important, but could you specify about "anti-inflammatory"? Just interested, thanks!
    • mendelevium 12y ago
      Inflammation is linked to depression http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/288715.php http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/288715.php 14 Foods That Fight Inflammation http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20705881,00.html http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20705881,00.html
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  • gabamnml 12y ago
    I think the most important part is to exercise. The body releases endorphins which are the ones responsible to make humans happier.
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• yarou 12y ago
  Mindful meditation will do wonders for you. So will smoking weed (waits for inevitable downvotes by puritans, conservatives, and charlatans of the highest order). Weed will give you the emotive catharsis you desire, in a healthy and positive manner.
• zem 12y ago
  caveat: the following advice works very well for me; it might not for everyone the main idea is, do not tie your identity or sense of self-worth to your job. be very clear that your job is what you do to get enough money to support your "real" life, and concentrate on making the rest of your time enjoyable. the side project is a good start, but also exercise more, take up some non-tech-related hobby (maybe one you can share with your wife), take short courses in random, interesting skills (e.g. cooking), develop an active community of friends (host dinners, board game nights, regular "check out a new restaurant" outings, walking tours of interesting neighbourhoods, etc.) that takes care of the life side. as for your career, you might be stuck in a rut right now due to visa restrictions, but that won't always be the case. when it isn't, will you be prepared to interview for a better job? if you don't feel so, then why not? and if you can identify the reasons you might fall short, it's well worth putting in some time building up your skill set, so that as soon as you are able to move jobs, you are also prepared to do so.
  • monk_e_boy 12y ago
    If you can, choose to do hard things at work. I was the guy who decided to use debuggers, dig through bug reports, patches, etc... usually it's a bit more interesting and makes you more valuable. But yeah, make sure you live life to the full outside work. Spend work hours shooting the breeze, being tired or hungover. Get some podcasts going on. I prefer D&D because the stories are never predictable.
  • bbarn 12y ago
    Surprised I had to scroll down this far to find this comment. I came to essentially say the same thing. You don't have to love your job. It's great when you can, but sometimes, it's worth just looking at it for what it is - the means to support your family, and focus on friends/interests outside of work. Often I see "Start a side project", and while that can be a worthy endeavor, it might just make you feel like you work all day, then work all night, and hurt those relationships at home. Find happiness in your life outside of what you do, and some day that will force itself into your career, even if it has to do it without your knowledge. Happier people interview better, look healthier, and generally find a way to do things better. Be careful tagging it with "Depression", unless you've shown symptoms of clinical depression throughout your life, and likely if it is clinical, this won't be the first time, and your job isn't the cause. If it IS clinical, then seek help.
• someotherdb 12y ago
  The first step is a pen and paper. Sit down and think about a step-by-step achievable plan to change the situation. Actually committing small but real steps and figuring out realistic incremental changes will make it real in all senses. First thing on the list might be a skills inventory - what would you like to be doing? Can you then start a small project to start learning or developing the skill? A walk each day - rain, wind, sun or snow - is very important. Away from the office, you will get time to think about positive things, and how you work towards them. I am sure you don't, but try not to portion any blame on the wife as she is not yet working. I am saying this as a witness to a friend who did the same when he felt trapped and alone in his work situation. One day, you may make a big pivot in life, and your wife will be working and supporting you whilst you do. Selfish note - the company survived before you and will survive after you. Therefore do what work is required, but if you find yourself with free time then pick up things loosely related to your job, that give you a chance to learn new skills on their dime and their time. If you are truly experiencing depression rather than a solid realisation that life in the big corps can suck royally, then you do need to find someone qualified to sit with you and address that specifically. But doing so should not stop the daily walks or the small step situation improvement plan. Good luck.
• AdeptusAquinas 12y ago
  I went through a dark phase like this a while ago. Similar situation, with a mortgage that effectively trapped me at my job. I eventually figured out though that my depression was linked to the frustration with the pointlessness of the job - you are not exactly doing anything meaningful when each day is building pointless features into monolithic intranets for companies and government departments who are motivated more by using up budget than real needs :) Once I realised that it was, for lack of a better term, 'caring' for work that shouldn't really be cared for that was the problem, I got much happier. Became very laissez-faire, committed only to doing a good job and not associating myself with the company. Don't be loyal, just be professional in other words, and live for the time when you are not at work. Seems to be working for me so far. My work and mood has improved, which leads to better things both at work and home.
  • efewf 12y ago
    Good advice. The only issue I see is that I might find myself unmotivated to progress in my career. If I become laissez-faire, I might not go for the promotion. Have you had this be an issue?
    • AdeptusAquinas 12y ago
      Definitely. And you need to be careful - you can definitely be too casual and make a mistake that might come up in review (as I did not too long ago). But the other side of this is that, by not emotionally investing in the work, you don't also end up feeling hurt and betrayed should you not get the promotion you think you 'deserve'. When I built some beautiful application, but got passed over, it felt like my manager had stabbed me in the back. That's unhealthy. Also, I think that once you internalise the idea that the job was just a job you can become a better performer. You wont feel listless and pointless when a client makes your life difficult, or you are switched from one project to the another. I find that now I just shrug, and tackle what's next.
    • drblast 12y ago
      Progress, the way you think about it, is defined externally. It's drilled into us that we have to get good grades, get into a good school, get the best job, keep working and moving up, up, up. Even if you do those things perfectly it probably won't make you happy because you're letting someone else define what success and progress is for you. And there will always be more to achieve and a higher level to climb. If the progress treadmill is meaningful to you, power to you. Otherwise, you have to find your own meaning. When you do your pointless job won't seem so pointless. I make a good salary at a large software company and I have an amazing family and friends. Every day I feel like I'm growing as a human being in my relationships. My job pays the bills and my family is comfortable. We drive old cars and live fairly frugally. I'm much happier now than I ever was when I was trying to make progress according to someone else's rules. Also, if your job is boring, do the hell out of that job. One of the happiest people I've ever met served pizza and did it better than anyone I'd ever seen; she remembered every customer's name, made all the kids laugh, and had a good thing to say to everyone she met. There's a lot of satisfaction to be had from taking something that doesn't matter and making it matter.
• O____________O 12y ago
  I have a family and the job pays the bills. Sounds like you have a pretty good life! If we spent more time appreciating the things we do have, and less time lamenting the things we don't (promotions, specific career trajectories), then we'd all find more satisfaction in life.
• Animats 12y ago
  Text “START” to 741741. They can help.
• tunesmith 12y ago
  Assuming this isn't clinical depression (others have advice on that), I'd recommend to take a close look at what your goals are. Basic philosophy: Don't make your happiness dependent on things you can't control. In a large company, there are going to be a lot of things you can't control. Make your happiness dependent on things you can control, like how you spend your free time, how good a job you do at the stuff you do, and other things you individually can do to improve your future career mobility.
• ElijahLynn 12y ago
  Go read "The Dip". It can be helpful in determining when to call it quits and move on or to stay put and wait for the sun. But yeah, exercise helps megatons with this too, read the book "Spark" to learn about the science of exercise and how it affects the brain.
• shravvmehtaa 12y ago
  www.hired.com
• taf2 12y ago
  Take a day off. Make sure you don't work on the weekend. Pick something easy to work on during the day that you can finish and feel good about. When home focus on the kids, try and find something non-tech related to focus your energy on outside of work... Exercise helps a lot
• lettergram 12y ago
  I actually recommend a comment by the_economist. Work out, walk, try to think positively, etc. A bit of a plug, but: I also created a Kickstarter for my project, which is designed to help people feel better via a method called neurofeedback. Usually it's thousands of dollars, but we automated it and brought it down to ~$30 per month (or $15 through the kickstarter). https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/synaptitude/thinksuite-brainware-not-software https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/synaptitude/thinksuite-...
• nathell 12y ago
  1. Seek professional help if you can afford it. I'm not sure how public funding of psychological counselling / psychotherapy works in the US, but if money is an issue, try to find a local support group. Or start one, if you feel up to the task. 2. Have an honest conversation with your manager. If you have a problem, it's no use swiping it under the carpet and hoping it will just go away on its own. Tell the manager how you feel and what impact this feeling has on your day-to-day job. If you have already applied for help (see above), mention it. This way you are sending a positive message that you are aware of the problem and proactively working towards fixing it. Try to be open, honest, and speak in terms of how to improve the state of affairs, rather than complaining how bad it is. Try to work together with your manager to seek a solution. It is natural to be afraid of this conversation. Work it through in your head. You may feel that your manager is not understanding enough. If in doubt, try to talk to a colleague first. Alternatively, you might find someone else in senior management whom you consider more approachable. 3. Exercise, meditate, sleep and eat well. Others have already mentioned the importance of this.
• edoceo 12y ago
  I've been coding for 20+ years; for a while I felt like it was just spinngin wheels. Starting my own project has improved my passion for the code I write but for just feeling better in general the excercise is the biggest deal. Some times new employees seem to have this non-enthuastic drive. I know they don't have an excercise regimen. I take meetings with the team now with a hackey-sack. It's easy but gets the blood moving. 15m of hack, 2x or 3x a day can make a huge difference in your emotions.
• vertis 12y ago
  Along with all the other suggestions: - Go a little bit rogue. Focus on what you think it's important for the company/team to be doing regardless of what "smarter" people are telling you to do. - Find non-tech people within the company and solve their problems. Write small in-house applications to make their lives easier. - Take time to learn something new, and then share what you've learned with your team with a tech talk. e.g: Machine Learning, Continuous Delivery, Functional Programming - Find someone either inside or outside the company to mentor: I like to start with the RailsGirls guides and expand out from there.
• jes 12y ago
  There are many good comments on this thread, so I hope that you consider them carefully. One point I'd like to add is this. Try to find small things that you can start and finish in a reasonable amount of time. Maybe something you can do in an hour, as against, starting yet another task that will take days or weeks to finish. In my experience, actually finishing tasks that have some value to me give me a little hit of dopamine or some other brain chemical, and that often improves my mood. I wish you the best.
• plikan13 12y ago
  It's funny how many people recommend exercise or meditation as if this is going to make you forget that you hate your job. If anything, meditation is only going to make this more clear. Hating your job is a pretty big problem that you will only solve by changing the circumstances of your employment. You don't owe anybody unhappiness, not even your wife or kids.
• a3n 12y ago
  See your doctor and explore all the options. You might discuss drugs, counseling/therapy, prayer, meditation, diet, exercise, hobbies/diversions, any number of things depending on your specific situation. You might choose to try any of those or other options. But see your doctor.
• ParanoidShroom 12y ago
  And I though I was a unique case with this. Anyone think this is growing larger than normal ?
• jheriko 12y ago
  find a new job. simples ;)
• moneytide 12y ago
  I was a warehouse worker at Amazon for a year and I made sure I sweat every day there. I would challenge myself to move product quicker and avoid forklift duty (standing in place). Requesting the labor intensive duties allowed me to use the chemical energy (food) I was inputting instead of it all going into storage from sitting in a chair all day. After a while, I started feeling depressed. It was a combination of the monotony and a lack of purpose, and it wouldn't help when I would encounter the occasional order of cat toys or extremely overpriced items that could have been purchased at a dollar store for 400% less. I was enjoying the constant movement but there was no pride in my work. Its not like building a structure where you can witness the fruits of your toil. Because everyday was predictable and simple, I would say that I felt that my mental facilities were deteriorating at an accelerated rate which prompted my abrupt leave (without a notice). Sometimes I would research the internal Wiki for what the AWS engineers were saying to each other. It was interesting, but I'm sure I was only doing it because I knew they made more money than me. This is where I went wrong because comparing yourself to someone else is an inefficient use of your brains resources. My duties were simple and I felt like a grunt but I've always been in shape and never get sick. I'm fundamentally opposed to the idea of gyms because you're paying a group of people to make sure theres a place with air conditioning where you can pick up iron and put it back down in the same place. Or run in place like a hamster (some places have tracks, I know, but round and round it goes). I understand that sometimes weather will prevent an outdoor run or hike, but just do something. Rearrange the house. Build something with heavy parts. Run up your stairs every time you use them. Theres always a way to get your blood flowing without allocating a specific hour of your schedule.
• cylinder714 12y ago
  I got myself fired from a job a few years ago, and it occurred to me recently that seasonal affective disorder (SAD) was probably a contributing factor. I'd been feeling low and bored for quite a while leading up to the event, working in a darkened room with a desk lamp, as no one wanted the fluorescent lights turned on. I like the_economist 's advice in general, and particularly the bit about getting outside, but suggest that longer meditation is fine, too, and perhaps try bodyweight workouts before getting into barbell/dumbell training. I just got a copy of Convict Conditioning and find it and the idea of bodyweight exercise compelling, and you can't beat the price. (See the FAQ at /r/bodyweightfitness for more.)
• loumf 12y ago
  If the goal of promotion or more compensation is literally impossible, then choose another goal that isn't. For the purpose of enjoyment, goals are arbitrary. Eventually, you'll be free to leave, and you can start pursuing other goals. Or ... Ask your boss what you need to do to earn whatever is is you want, and then pursue that. Make it reasonable and achievable in 3-6 months -- to do that, ask for the appropriate thing (a small step towards a larger goal)