Well, I'm not really sure where to start. For one it's good that you're seeking counseling, hopefully this will help things. That being said, there are others

Well, I'm not really sure where to start. For one it's good that you're seeking counseling, hopefully this will help things. That being said, there are others like you. While I am not one of them, there are people in the world that are afraid of all types of things (even their own shadow - sciophobia ). So, you can at least seek comfort in the fact that you are surely not alone. That being said there are plenty of horrible ways to die in life. I wouldn't even care to venture a guess in how many horrible ways there are to go. The fact of the matter is, the odds are ridiculous at best that you will dye in a horrible way. The average person is going to meet their maker from a much less crazy event - car crash, heart disease, cancer. Do you know anyone in your family or friends that died from the disease you fear? I bet not. How did they die? Much more common ways. However, seeing as how you already posted the odds I know you know this. The fact of the matter is that you're thinking irrationally. Hopefully the fact that you are likely intelligent and that you already know the odds are ridiculous at best that you would get a disease like this, yet you are still worrying about it tells you that you are thinking irrationally. I think by realizing this you'll be one step up in the game. I think the real crux of your problem is to somehow stop thinking irrationally. Unfortunately this is where my advice ends because I am nothing but a logical thinker. I think about death occasionally but only worry that I will die before I've done enough good in the world. I think you are doing a good thing by seeking counseling and I think your main goal should be on trying to stop thinking irrationally. Hopefully some of what i said calms you down at least a bit. One last note - suicide will not only end your life but crush anyone else's life that you are a part of. It is a weak, selfish thing to do. I am a firm believer that people are put here to do good things in the world and if you drop yourself from the equation you're hurting the odds of getting a higher percentage of do-gooders out there. If you care even slightly about your family or friends you will set aside suicide as a possible option and start looking at changing things for yourself. Also, you may want to remove that from your post as you're likely going to make people think you're just trolling for emotional responses. Since I feel like you may be trolling this will be my only post. If you aren't trolling I sincerely wish you good luck with your burden and offer you my thoughts from a rational standpoint - I think you can beat what you're dealing with if you stick with it.