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I don't want to openly doubt rape, but jesus, several times over several months? Call the police, or at least avoid a situation if possible. Clearly she is will

I don't want to openly doubt rape, but jesus, several times over several months? Call the police, or at least avoid a situation if possible. Clearly she is willing to talk about it, so where's the police report? Also, every time I read one of these articles I cringe. There's a big movement to "include women in tech", but it's interesting to note that (in my experience) there is a large group (bordering on majority) of women in tech that are just as disgusted by these articles. My girlfriend finds it particularly offensive, her comments usually being something along the lines of: "If women want to be treated as equals, they should act like equals, not complain." Point being, she finds these articles counter productive, and most of the women whinny. She thinks a lot of the people in tech can be weird, and this can lead to people believing it there sexism, when in actuality it is just awkward behavior. Finally, and my personal opinion, no one supports rape, sexual harassment or racism, and any subconscious bias is pretty hard to discern. It would be better to involve the authorities if you feel you are being rapped or harassed. From my personal point of view I have seen SO many women complain about being harassed or put down, and the fact is they may have, but I have never seen it. I work regularly with women in my jobs and I've never seen or had a problem. Some are bad team members and some are good. They are usually treated by skill level from my experience, and I have seen this taken as sexism more than once. Other places are different (apparently) and if that's the case, punish the crap out of the people who harass women/race. BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, stop putting me in a group with these people. I'm calling bullshit on not just this article, but half these articles. There is definitely less women in tech, and nothing is inherently wrong with that. If there's something I can do to make it more inclusive, I will. However, please OP and anyone reading this, come at it with an open mind. Just because women aren't in tech does not imply something is wrong. Women and men are different, it's okay as long as it is not a sexist barrier. Just not having a lot of women does not mean there is that barrier. Every situation is different, and you may have indeed been wronged (and I can sympathize), but stop generalizing. It's borderline sexism to claim "everyone in tech is sexist against women," we all know males have to watch themselves and be careful. That's probably why the OP was offered money, people are so scared of being called sexist, because it's so blown out of proportion. Handle it like everything else, with a clear mind. If we are going to talk about sexism, give me the facts, give me the barrier, and give me a way I can fix it besides just being "subconsciously and uncontrollably bias." If that can't be done, then there probably isn't justification to discuss the concerns (yet).

empressplay 12y ago
See? This is what I mean. I'm sure the parent poster is generally a nice person, but while they make what I'm certain they believe is an innocent comment, they claim a) women are less suited for technical careers (which has no basis in fact and is sexist as hell), b) suggest that women should "not complain" because by complaining they only cause men to reject them even more, but then c) on the flip-side say that if a woman is being harassed or raped they should call the police (which is certainly going to end their career if even talking about it is a no-no), and finally d) if there is a problem, I have nothing to do with it and should have no responsibility for it (which has all sorts of negative historical connotations). All of these statements are questionable but were presumably made in good faith, by what I assume to be a reasonable person. That's the curious thing about all of this.
- lettergram 12y ago
  Wow, well... to be honest I have no idea where you are coming from: > women are less suited for technical careers (which has no basis in fact and is sexist as hell) a) All I claimed was that it isn't inherently bad to have less women. It could be due to sexism, a distaste for sitting in front of a computer all day, bad food or something else. My point is each situation should be based on it's own merit, and not generalized. I am sick of being called sexist if I don't think everyone is sexist. > suggest that women should "not complain" because by complaining they only cause men to reject them even more, but then b) My claim is that a complaint should have merit, be taken care of immediately. I'm sick of posts like this, where the OP is claiming something happened years later, without proof or taking action. More over, I am claiming that there are a large group of men and women who believe it is easier to prove equality, as opposed to articles which create a further divide (by claiming everyone's a sexist). Further sick of being criticized for sharing an alternative view, and immediately called a sexist. > on the flip-side say that if a woman is being harassed or raped they should call the police (which is certainly going to end their career if even talking about it is a no-no), c) I hope you are joking. It wont end their career, it's just like every other job in the world. If your boss rapes you or co-worker THEY get in trouble. Trust me, the police aren't in this tech sexism too. They only care that someone was hurt. No employer would be like, "oh hey, I see you were sexually assaulted by your last boss..." No, not going to happen, this is fear mongering, and is just a downright distasteful argument. Not one that should be an actual concern. > if there is a problem, I have nothing to do with it and should have no responsibility for it (which has all sorts of negative historical connotations). d) Where the hell did you read this? I made the claim that I need evidence, proof, something I can see and fix. If I have no direction what can I do? I have rarely heard clear arguments about sexism and the issues. It is always like the OP, just a bunch of claims without a way I (or anyone) could help. You say: > All of these statements are questionable but were presumably made in good faith, by what I assume to be a reasonable person. That's the curious thing about all of this. You may disagree with my statements, but your statements are even more curious. It is as if you didn't read what I wrote and just decided to call me a sexist for having an alternative view point. Especially, your "a" point: No where did I claim: > women are less suited for technical career Stop putting words in my mouth, stop calling me a sexist. The tech world isn't out to get women, just make cool stuff and money. If anything, we are scared of being called sexist and annoyed with these constant comments.

empressplay 12y ago

See? This is what I mean. I'm sure the parent poster is generally a nice person, but while they make what I'm certain they believe is an innocent comment, they claim a) women are less suited for technical careers (which has no basis in fact and is sexist as hell), b) suggest that women should "not complain" because by complaining they only cause men to reject them even more, but then c) on the flip-side say that if a woman is being harassed or raped they should call the police (which is certainly going to end their career if even talking about it is a no-no), and finally d) if there is a problem, I have nothing to do with it and should have no responsibility for it (which has all sorts of negative historical connotations). All of these statements are questionable but were presumably made in good faith, by what I assume to be a reasonable person. That's the curious thing about all of this.

lettergram 12y ago
Wow, well... to be honest I have no idea where you are coming from: > women are less suited for technical careers (which has no basis in fact and is sexist as hell) a) All I claimed was that it isn't inherently bad to have less women. It could be due to sexism, a distaste for sitting in front of a computer all day, bad food or something else. My point is each situation should be based on it's own merit, and not generalized. I am sick of being called sexist if I don't think everyone is sexist. > suggest that women should "not complain" because by complaining they only cause men to reject them even more, but then b) My claim is that a complaint should have merit, be taken care of immediately. I'm sick of posts like this, where the OP is claiming something happened years later, without proof or taking action. More over, I am claiming that there are a large group of men and women who believe it is easier to prove equality, as opposed to articles which create a further divide (by claiming everyone's a sexist). Further sick of being criticized for sharing an alternative view, and immediately called a sexist. > on the flip-side say that if a woman is being harassed or raped they should call the police (which is certainly going to end their career if even talking about it is a no-no), c) I hope you are joking. It wont end their career, it's just like every other job in the world. If your boss rapes you or co-worker THEY get in trouble. Trust me, the police aren't in this tech sexism too. They only care that someone was hurt. No employer would be like, "oh hey, I see you were sexually assaulted by your last boss..." No, not going to happen, this is fear mongering, and is just a downright distasteful argument. Not one that should be an actual concern. > if there is a problem, I have nothing to do with it and should have no responsibility for it (which has all sorts of negative historical connotations). d) Where the hell did you read this? I made the claim that I need evidence, proof, something I can see and fix. If I have no direction what can I do? I have rarely heard clear arguments about sexism and the issues. It is always like the OP, just a bunch of claims without a way I (or anyone) could help. You say: > All of these statements are questionable but were presumably made in good faith, by what I assume to be a reasonable person. That's the curious thing about all of this. You may disagree with my statements, but your statements are even more curious. It is as if you didn't read what I wrote and just decided to call me a sexist for having an alternative view point. Especially, your "a" point: No where did I claim: > women are less suited for technical career Stop putting words in my mouth, stop calling me a sexist. The tech world isn't out to get women, just make cool stuff and money. If anything, we are scared of being called sexist and annoyed with these constant comments.