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How touching. This story gives me hope that I can both deeply love an adopted child and that the child will love me back.
by jarjoura 12y ago
How touching. This story gives me hope that I can both deeply love an adopted child and that the child will love me back.
- morbius 12y agoIndeed, it is a gorgeous story. We use the excuse of biological dissimilarities to get around the fact that most archetypes we've constructed have been artificially constructed -- gender, relationships, and socialization all revolve around certain attributes that are very arbitrary and have little, if anything, to do with biological characteristics. The controversial "wire mother" experiment carried out by Harry Harlow[1] proves this to some extent. Another story much like the one in the NYT article, if you're interested: http://www.npr.org/2015/02/20/387309723/pain-but-no-regrets-a-father-remembers-his-adopted-son http://www.npr.org/2015/02/20/387309723/pain-but-no-regrets-... [1]: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Harlow http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Harlow
- smoyer 12y agoI don't have any maternal instincts (by definition) but can assure you that loving a child is actually pretty easy (and natural). My adopted daughter is our fourth child and I've got the same attachment to her that I have to the three I sired.
- fecak 12y agoI had similar questions when we were presented the opportunity to adopt a newborn. She is now 10 days old, and she has felt like mine ever since I first saw her minutes after her birth. Perhaps my experience is unique, but I didn't expect the connection to happen as quickly (instantly) as it did.
- Asparagirl 12y agoMazel Tov!
- ars 12y agoYou love someone if you take care of them (or are taken care of). That's about all it takes. And it is not required that one of the parties be a child. Biology matters, but not as much as care.