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I suspect the issue is that many people in the computer industry never had the opportunity to develop a proper social skillset and thus frequently end up behavi

I suspect the issue is that many people in the computer industry never had the opportunity to develop a proper social skillset and thus frequently end up behaving in ways that are socially unacceptable. Add to that the prevalence of Aspergers in the industry, and you have a pretty explosive mix. If I had a magic wand I'd make people take training on how to relate to others, especially the opposite sex, how to develop emotional intelligence which so many of us lack. Just because you're not born with it, doesn't matter you shouldn't learn it.

DanBC 12y ago
Why, when someone behaves like an asshole, do we so quickly reach for some pathology to explain it? "He's behaved like an asshole" isn't enough, it has to be "he behaved like an asshole; he's probably got Asperger's".
- BadassFractal 12y ago
  Calling someone an asshole doesn't help you diagnose the problem, it just lets you vent and confirms your personal biases. If you want to get to the root cause of this, you need to understand why that is happening. I strongly suspect that in most cases it's lack of emotional/social intelligence, and also frequently (how much is unclear) due to pathologies. Sure, sometimes you know that what you're about to say is totally inappropriate, and you do it anyway, but I'm willing to bet that's a serious minority of cases.
  - Dewie 12y ago
    > Calling someone an asshole doesn't help you diagnose the problem, it just lets you vent and confirms your personal biases. In order to diagnose the problem you also need to have the relevant qualifications. Do you?
    - BadassFractal 12y ago
      I don't claim to be an expert, but I know that name calling will not get me an inch closer to understanding the situation.
      - DanBC 12y ago
        Ignorantly ascribing poor behaviour to neuro-atypicality, with no evidence of such, is worse. You do nothing to understandthat actual behaviour and you stigmatise people who are neuro-atypical. Sometimes assholes are just assholes.
  - DanBC 12y ago
    This is probably the Linda Problem -- the conjunction fallacy. "Linda is 31 years old, single, outspoken, and very bright. She majored in philosophy. As a student, she was deeply concerned with issues of discrimination and social justice, and also participated in anti-nuclear demonstrations. Kahneman and Tversky stripped the quiz down and tried again. They had students read the same profile of Linda. But then they simply asked whether it is more likely that Linda is (a) a bank teller or (b) a bank teller who is active in the feminist movement?" Most people say (b) because they feel the need to explain Linda's social conscience.
Nursie 12y ago
This feels like making excuses and really doesn't explain much. Much of the stuff I've seen comes from people who were in management. Some of them were married. This is not nervous-geek-can't-relate territory, it's bad attitudes.
bjourne 12y ago
No, Asperger's doesn't make you more likely to behave like an asshole or a misogynist. Please read up on the subject of autism spectrum disorders before making such prejudiced and completely false remarks! That said, in my experience, the biggest jerks and assholes have also had excellent social skills. Therefore training people to become more socially capable to reduce the number of jerks completely misses the point.

DanBC 12y ago

Why, when someone behaves like an asshole, do we so quickly reach for some pathology to explain it? "He's behaved like an asshole" isn't enough, it has to be "he behaved like an asshole; he's probably got Asperger's".

BadassFractal 12y ago
Calling someone an asshole doesn't help you diagnose the problem, it just lets you vent and confirms your personal biases. If you want to get to the root cause of this, you need to understand why that is happening. I strongly suspect that in most cases it's lack of emotional/social intelligence, and also frequently (how much is unclear) due to pathologies. Sure, sometimes you know that what you're about to say is totally inappropriate, and you do it anyway, but I'm willing to bet that's a serious minority of cases.
- Dewie 12y ago
  > Calling someone an asshole doesn't help you diagnose the problem, it just lets you vent and confirms your personal biases. In order to diagnose the problem you also need to have the relevant qualifications. Do you?
  - BadassFractal 12y ago
    I don't claim to be an expert, but I know that name calling will not get me an inch closer to understanding the situation.
    - DanBC 12y ago
      Ignorantly ascribing poor behaviour to neuro-atypicality, with no evidence of such, is worse. You do nothing to understandthat actual behaviour and you stigmatise people who are neuro-atypical. Sometimes assholes are just assholes.
- DanBC 12y ago
  This is probably the Linda Problem -- the conjunction fallacy. "Linda is 31 years old, single, outspoken, and very bright. She majored in philosophy. As a student, she was deeply concerned with issues of discrimination and social justice, and also participated in anti-nuclear demonstrations. Kahneman and Tversky stripped the quiz down and tried again. They had students read the same profile of Linda. But then they simply asked whether it is more likely that Linda is (a) a bank teller or (b) a bank teller who is active in the feminist movement?" Most people say (b) because they feel the need to explain Linda's social conscience.

Nursie 12y ago

This feels like making excuses and really doesn't explain much. Much of the stuff I've seen comes from people who were in management. Some of them were married. This is not nervous-geek-can't-relate territory, it's bad attitudes.

bjourne 12y ago

No, Asperger's doesn't make you more likely to behave like an asshole or a misogynist. Please read up on the subject of autism spectrum disorders before making such prejudiced and completely false remarks! That said, in my experience, the biggest jerks and assholes have also had excellent social skills. Therefore training people to become more socially capable to reduce the number of jerks completely misses the point.