Honestly? It sounds like she's asking for conflict. > It was then that I was 100% sure my dressing up wasn’t for him at all, I didn’t at all care if a partner

Honestly? It sounds like she's asking for conflict. > It was then that I was 100% sure my dressing up wasn’t for him at all, I didn’t at all care if a partner disliked my dresses, or makeup. I was wearing them for me. And it was then, that I realized that continuing to wearing dresses just for myself was a totally valid way to say a big FUCK YOU to the patriarchy. If I wore a suit to work just to appear/feel "elite" (i.e. of higher social status) about myself, I would totally not be surprised if my behavior is met with animosity from my fellow developers who mostly dress down or just dress casually. > But she did and wore a nerdy tshirt and jeans instead, and she had a better experience that day. People assumed she was technical and didn’t dilute their explanations to her. So it's not about being a female developer, it's about the image you're presenting of yourself.