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This sounds great; I wish more parents would advocate for their children in the face of poorly-designed homework policies. How much conflict did you have with

by japhyr 12y ago

This sounds great; I wish more parents would advocate for their children in the face of poorly-designed homework policies. How much conflict did you have with your children's teachers over the years? How much conflict did your kids have with their teachers as a result of this?

JoeAltmaier 12y ago
My wife took the brunt of the conflict. She took the position of presenting our plan to the teachers, not asking for permission. Teachers cautioned her, cajoled and complained. They even gave bad grades. But we had our act together, told the teachers Thanks for your input but we're doing it our way, supported the kids and let them know our family was different. Kids accepted that, because kids don't know anything else but how our family does it. My favorite was when my wife took our 5th grader out of a class each week for a lesson with our local cello master (his only student below college level). He was well beyond grade level already, so the class was no loss to him. By that time the teacher was resigned, accepted it without a murmur. Rereading that comment, I disagree with 'poorly designed homework policy'. Any homework is a complete misapprehension of school's place in a family's life.
- japhyr 12y ago
  They even gave bad grades. Did this have any lasting impact? I get really frustrated when grades are used more as punishment for behavior, even academic behaviors, than they are used to represent actual learning. Any homework is a complete misapprehension of school's place in a family's life. I believe a good policy is grounded in teaching the role that learning outside of class time plays in your life. Some students get this from their parents; many don't. I believe a cornerstone of a good hw policy is allowing students a significant amount of choice in what they do outside of school; a student's overall learning should align with their stated academic and life goals. I completely agree a school should not attempt to mandate what happens at home.
  - JoeAltmaier 12y ago
    My kids got their self-image from their parent's support. Grades were just a number, seen once each term, that reflected what their teacher thought. Almost unrelated to their actual learning.
    - mod 12y ago
      You sound like an awesome dad. This is the correct perspective on grades. I wasn't allowed to get Bs. There were repercussions. I think my dad just took the lazy route, and it's easier to take the teachers' word that your kids are learning than to make sure yourself. When I talk to with-it high-schoolers I make a point to question grades. Nobody cares, so long as you pass. Grades are incredibly easy to manipulate, anyhow, as evidenced by the jaw-dropping number of absolutely clueless high-school graduates there are.
      - JoeAltmaier 12y ago
        To be clear, I don't mean to denigrate teachers. Teachers have tasks of teaching, evaluating and communicating that are not all done in equal measure. The grade can reflect noise in any of those activities. Its better to check yourself, than trust a one-dimensional grade. Nor to denigrate parents. There's enough to do raising children, monitoring their schoolwork is not the top priority for everyone. I've had the luxury of a good paying job in a first world economy.

by japhyr 12y ago

JoeAltmaier 12y ago

My wife took the brunt of the conflict. She took the position of presenting our plan to the teachers, not asking for permission. Teachers cautioned her, cajoled and complained. They even gave bad grades. But we had our act together, told the teachers Thanks for your input but we're doing it our way, supported the kids and let them know our family was different. Kids accepted that, because kids don't know anything else but how our family does it. My favorite was when my wife took our 5th grader out of a class each week for a lesson with our local cello master (his only student below college level). He was well beyond grade level already, so the class was no loss to him. By that time the teacher was resigned, accepted it without a murmur. Rereading that comment, I disagree with 'poorly designed homework policy'. Any homework is a complete misapprehension of school's place in a family's life.

japhyr 12y ago
They even gave bad grades. Did this have any lasting impact? I get really frustrated when grades are used more as punishment for behavior, even academic behaviors, than they are used to represent actual learning. Any homework is a complete misapprehension of school's place in a family's life. I believe a good policy is grounded in teaching the role that learning outside of class time plays in your life. Some students get this from their parents; many don't. I believe a cornerstone of a good hw policy is allowing students a significant amount of choice in what they do outside of school; a student's overall learning should align with their stated academic and life goals. I completely agree a school should not attempt to mandate what happens at home.
- JoeAltmaier 12y ago
  My kids got their self-image from their parent's support. Grades were just a number, seen once each term, that reflected what their teacher thought. Almost unrelated to their actual learning.
  - mod 12y ago
    You sound like an awesome dad. This is the correct perspective on grades. I wasn't allowed to get Bs. There were repercussions. I think my dad just took the lazy route, and it's easier to take the teachers' word that your kids are learning than to make sure yourself. When I talk to with-it high-schoolers I make a point to question grades. Nobody cares, so long as you pass. Grades are incredibly easy to manipulate, anyhow, as evidenced by the jaw-dropping number of absolutely clueless high-school graduates there are.
    - JoeAltmaier 12y ago
      To be clear, I don't mean to denigrate teachers. Teachers have tasks of teaching, evaluating and communicating that are not all done in equal measure. The grade can reflect noise in any of those activities. Its better to check yourself, than trust a one-dimensional grade. Nor to denigrate parents. There's enough to do raising children, monitoring their schoolwork is not the top priority for everyone. I've had the luxury of a good paying job in a first world economy.