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There is a middle ground between locking your kids indoors and letting them roam feral riding on the top of trains and tagging buildings. And that is to be an

by shirro 12y ago

There is a middle ground between locking your kids indoors and letting them roam feral riding on the top of trains and tagging buildings. And that is to be an active parent and go camping, hunting, fishing with kids. Geocaching, bushwalking, kayaking, long distance bike rides etc. These are some good starting lists: http://www.natureplaysa.org.au/resources/2/51-things-to-do-before-youre-12/ http://www.natureplaysa.org.au/resources/2/51-things-to-do-b... https://www.50things.org.uk/activity-list.aspx https://www.50things.org.uk/activity-list.aspx

rayiner 12y ago
Who has the time? When I was a kid, my over protective asian mother would let me out of the house when I got home from school, and I'd wander around the neighborhood with the neighborhood kids, and come back when it got dark. My generation's (I'm 30) ideas of "proper parenting" are too god-damn time intensive. You should be doing stuff with your kids, sure, but beyond a pretty young age, it's their job to entertain themselves.
- ajcarpy2005 12y ago
  I don't see why in evenings, families can't spend some time in the backyard maybe grill some food or just throw a Frisbee or whatnot.
  - rayiner 12y ago
    Sure, you can do that. But kids have a tremendous amount of free time (after school on weekdays, weekends, spring, summer, and winter breaks). They should be running around the neighborhood for most of that time.
  - 67726e 12y ago
    Not for nothing, but how many kids want to spend their time doing that? Sure, playing catch with a parent is fun from time to time, but when I was a kid I wanted to spend my time roaming the woods, riding bikes, or building a tree-house with my friends, not my parents.
gizzlon 12y ago
All good, but don't you also think the kids need some time without their parents and other adults? At least when they get a little bit older..
- shirro 12y ago
  I do but my kids are all under 7yo and if I want them to get out and experience a range of things it mostly won't happen without my help. They go to playgrounds before and after school every day and play with other kids so it isn't like they don't get time to do their thing. My 4yo loves digging up the yard and build things in it which is great when I have a deadline. They have offcuts of wood and real hammers and nails at pre-school for my 4yo. I really don't think my kids are wrapped in cotton wool. But there are boundaries. It is great for kids to have play areas where they can build stuff but kids also like to play sport, swim, learn music etc. I think sometimes ideas get romanticised and people lose perspective.
popopje 12y ago
A main takeaway from this article is that being an active parent in this way is NOT a middle ground - of course it's a positive thing, but it is in no way the same as letting your kids roam the few miles around your home without supervision. That teaches a whole bunch of different physical and social interactions you're not going to get tagging along with daddy.
deleted 12y ago
[deleted]
Vaskivo 12y ago
I think one of the ideas of the article is kids doing their experiments as they want. Using the "gie a man a fish, teach a man to fish" idea, I'd say the gist of it is "Give a kid a fishing rod, and let's see what comes out of it".
superuser2 12y ago
>with kids The operative part is that they're doing things not with you, learning to interact with each other and navigate challenges on their own terms, not their parents'. Outdoor activities are great, of course, but it is no better or worse than any other supervised activitiy.
- shirro 12y ago
  They haven't exactly done controlled trials on the benefits of unsupervised play. It seems like there is a bit of wishful thinking going on here. A hundred years ago kids might go out with some other kids and learn some bushcraft or fishing or hunting. These days many of the other kids are housebound, often the ones I most wish my kids could be playing with. I would rather my kids learn about the world constructively than play Lord of the Flies. They still play with other kids a lot and that is necessary, not sufficient. I would like my kids to get a balance of free unrestricted time and learning a bit of discipline and team work playing team sports and doing solo activities where they can learn some self-reliance. I think these articles romanticise one aspect of childhood to the exclusion of others. I live in a small town and as soon as my kids can negotiate the roads safely they will have the run of it unrestricted but that doesn't mean that all they are going to do is hang out at a building site with old matresses and broken palletes. They will be riding to sports practice or the swimming pool, or skatepark or to go fishing.

by shirro 12y ago

rayiner 12y ago

Who has the time? When I was a kid, my over protective asian mother would let me out of the house when I got home from school, and I'd wander around the neighborhood with the neighborhood kids, and come back when it got dark. My generation's (I'm 30) ideas of "proper parenting" are too god-damn time intensive. You should be doing stuff with your kids, sure, but beyond a pretty young age, it's their job to entertain themselves.

ajcarpy2005 12y ago
I don't see why in evenings, families can't spend some time in the backyard maybe grill some food or just throw a Frisbee or whatnot.
- rayiner 12y ago
  Sure, you can do that. But kids have a tremendous amount of free time (after school on weekdays, weekends, spring, summer, and winter breaks). They should be running around the neighborhood for most of that time.
- 67726e 12y ago
  Not for nothing, but how many kids want to spend their time doing that? Sure, playing catch with a parent is fun from time to time, but when I was a kid I wanted to spend my time roaming the woods, riding bikes, or building a tree-house with my friends, not my parents.

gizzlon 12y ago

All good, but don't you also think the kids need some time without their parents and other adults? At least when they get a little bit older..

shirro 12y ago
I do but my kids are all under 7yo and if I want them to get out and experience a range of things it mostly won't happen without my help. They go to playgrounds before and after school every day and play with other kids so it isn't like they don't get time to do their thing. My 4yo loves digging up the yard and build things in it which is great when I have a deadline. They have offcuts of wood and real hammers and nails at pre-school for my 4yo. I really don't think my kids are wrapped in cotton wool. But there are boundaries. It is great for kids to have play areas where they can build stuff but kids also like to play sport, swim, learn music etc. I think sometimes ideas get romanticised and people lose perspective.

popopje 12y ago

A main takeaway from this article is that being an active parent in this way is NOT a middle ground - of course it's a positive thing, but it is in no way the same as letting your kids roam the few miles around your home without supervision. That teaches a whole bunch of different physical and social interactions you're not going to get tagging along with daddy.

deleted 12y ago

[deleted]

Vaskivo 12y ago

I think one of the ideas of the article is kids doing their experiments as they want. Using the "gie a man a fish, teach a man to fish" idea, I'd say the gist of it is "Give a kid a fishing rod, and let's see what comes out of it".

superuser2 12y ago

>with kids The operative part is that they're doing things not with you, learning to interact with each other and navigate challenges on their own terms, not their parents'. Outdoor activities are great, of course, but it is no better or worse than any other supervised activitiy.

shirro 12y ago
They haven't exactly done controlled trials on the benefits of unsupervised play. It seems like there is a bit of wishful thinking going on here. A hundred years ago kids might go out with some other kids and learn some bushcraft or fishing or hunting. These days many of the other kids are housebound, often the ones I most wish my kids could be playing with. I would rather my kids learn about the world constructively than play Lord of the Flies. They still play with other kids a lot and that is necessary, not sufficient. I would like my kids to get a balance of free unrestricted time and learning a bit of discipline and team work playing team sports and doing solo activities where they can learn some self-reliance. I think these articles romanticise one aspect of childhood to the exclusion of others. I live in a small town and as soon as my kids can negotiate the roads safely they will have the run of it unrestricted but that doesn't mean that all they are going to do is hang out at a building site with old matresses and broken palletes. They will be riding to sports practice or the swimming pool, or skatepark or to go fishing.