6 ms·

CreepedIn – Calling out the creepiest assholes on LinkedIn

21 points by pmcpinto 12y ago

daveth3cat 12y ago
I don't understand the point of this site. Whilst Linkedin is obviously the wrong platform, these people aren't using vulgar or offensive language, they're simply using Linkedin's vast data and profiling information to their advantage - for a community that supports entrepenerialism and innovation I'm surprised to see a site like this on the homepage. labelling them as 'creeps' and calling them out on the internet/Hacker News seems a little harsh. I don't condone using Linkedin as a dating service (even though it does, arguably, hold very relevant data), but you do have to admire the spirit!
- DanBC 12y ago
  > these people aren't using vulgar or offensive language, Yes they are. It is offensive to ignore the reason why women use that site (to make professional connections) and then hit on them. That's not networking. There's no useful business going on when you tell someone that they have pretty eyes, while ignoring their business information.
  - daveth3cat 12y ago
    I guess we disagree on that point then. I did say I don't condone it but calling these people out online as 'creeps' is harsh imo. Also you're assuming that all these 'creepy assholes' are men.
    - adaml_623 12y ago
      Nitpick: The previous poster is assuming that all the people being hit on are women. That doesn't equal an assumption that all creeps are men.
  - PeterWhittaker 12y ago
    LinkedIn is intended as a business site. If the behaviour would be inappropriate in a business meeting, then it is inappropriate on LinkedIn.
    - collyw 12y ago
      I wish recruiters would see it that way. Phoning out of the blue at work, asking if I have time to speak. Ignoring me when I say no.
valdiorn 12y ago
Read through a few. Most are just very normal people saying hi to strangers. When did that get creepy? Everyone is a stranger the first time they meet. I've met more than one girlfriend online without knowing anything about them, and our first contact was pretty much exactly like those messages. If it's unwelcome, then just don't respond, or say "no thanks". Don't be an asshole and publicly humiliate people for reaching out and asking for a date. Shame on whoever created that bullshit site.
- daveth3cat 12y ago
  Agreed.
- DanBC 12y ago
  The current first page on that site are men making comments about the physical attractiveness of women. Those women are not on the site to have people talking about their looks. They're there to meet other business people. Do you really think it's acceptable to walk up to a stranger in some business context and tell them that they are very pretty, with a heart-melting smile, and then ask for a date?
  - gizzlon 12y ago
    I didn't go outside today to have people begging me for money, but they did. I did not go to the office to have that boring annoying guy talk to me, but he did. I did not go to the cafe to have the cute barista girl smile at me, but she did.. Stuff happens, so what? How far do do you have to have a stick up your ass to be so offended by this it makes you start a blog? FFS..
    - cloakandswagger 12y ago
      Through the lens of modern social justice zealotry, you have a right--and others have an obligation--to never offend or impose upon your secret, unspoken list of hang-ups and triggers. Anyone who does is fair game for public shaming.
cheez 12y ago
I have to admit, there are some pretty hot recruiters on LinkedIn constantly coming to my profile wanting to connect. But yeah, it's a professional network with your name attached. Bad form to say "nah, but how about a date instead?"
- cLeEOGPw 12y ago
  They are honeypotting young guys. It's good idea to use attractive female to recruit (especially young) males, as well as attractive male to recruit females.
toolsadmin 12y ago
Found nothing wrong with Steward's message. Your "app" is a waste of cycles.
- cLeEOGPw 12y ago
  It's creepy because linkedin social network is environment where everyone is polite to each other and it is not the norm to make sexual advances in that environment. The same message from the same person would not be creepy if it would be on the dating site. It's the same situation where a coworker saying a compliment in the office is creepy, but random guy grabbing ass in the club is not. Creepiness is about deviation from social norm combined with the difference of attractiveness between individuals, not about absolute level of advance. Most people can feel it naturally, others lack such skill. If you lack it, read what I wrote and you can usually assess pretty accurately if an action can be considered creepy or not.
- nyolfen 12y ago
  he made repeated advances on the recipient, it's unprofessional and gross of him to do in the context of a business environment
MollyR 12y ago
More public shaming of people. Does this behavior simply come from misunderstanding of etiquette across sites ? Facebook etiquette is different than Linked etiquette, and those are different than twitter etiquette ? How does one truly figure out this network out ? I opt out because I'm afraid of being shamed. ex. Twitter it's rude to dot reply to someone ? I was shamed for that once before.
- DanBC 12y ago
  You're right that this type of public shaming is a bad idea. Anonymous shaming gets the point across - this unwanted attention is relentless and inappropriate, but without the risks of public shaming. > How does one truly figure out this network out? When you meet a woman in a business context talk to her about her business. Don't talk to her about her eyes or smile or hairstyle. It's not rocket science.
  - MollyR 12y ago
    It's not rocket science but it's not instinct either. What/who defines the appropriate behavior in a business context. I say this because I've read books on appropriate business behavior in the context american vs chinese businesses, and its different. People have different interpretations of what appropriate behavior is in different contexts. Example: in some southern cities in the us, its weird or rude not to say hello to strangers on the street. In New york, its weird and rude to say hello to strangers on the street. How do people actually learn whats appropriate in business context ? Personally I read books like Corporate Confidential, How to make friends and influence people to learn it, but I found it far from easy. edit: anecdote: I've had women business managers compliment my hair style, I didn't feel it was inappropriate.
gizzlon 12y ago
AAHH, someone called someone pretty online.. bring out the tar and feathers
thrillgore 12y ago
There's not a "Report" function next to each message?
carsongross 12y ago
Socially awkward, unattractive men daring to talk to... women?!? How dare they? _begins weekly purge of LinkedIn messages from duckfaced, attractive female recruiters_
- deckar01 12y ago
  Imagine walking into an interview or phone screening and being hit on by the person who gets to decide if you are hired. After being dismissed for rejecting the creep's advances you will probably want to stop by HR on your way out. Actually HR might have been the appropriate move instead of a shame site.
copsarebastards 12y ago
Yes, these guys are creeps. But calling someone a creep doesn't make them any less of a creep, nor does it prevent them from being a creep in the future. If anything, it is likely to make them defensive and make it harder for someone else to fix the problem. Nobody hands you a rulebook when you start dating about how to do it. Particularly as a guy, if you do something inappropriate, you'll likely never find out about it--you'll just get rejected and never know why. It's only by luck that I've happened upon a set of behaviors that makes women feel safe around me. From this side of the fence I frequently hear women talking about how creepy someone is, but never telling that person. A lot of guys are creeps, not because they intend to cause any harm, but because nobody ever gave them any feedback about how they can do better. Now, I realize it's not women's responsibility to educate men on how to pursue dating appropriately. But at least don't make the problem worse. If you don't want to tell the person their behavior is inappropriate, that's fine. But if you have a problem with someone you should address it with that person, not go around talking about them behind their backs. Going around calling people creeps isn't appropriate behavior either. For my part, I try to explain to guys what they're doing wrong when I see it. But that's pretty difficult to do because calling people creeps has created a culture where it's nearly impossible to have a candid conversation about how men can learn to date appropriately.
- moonka 12y ago
  I can understand that logic when it comes to social networks that aren't geared towards professional connections like LinkedIn. On LinkedIn, I'd expect these guys to be old enough to know better in general, and even if not, old enough to know that doing this on a professional networking site is creepy. We aren't talking about high school boys who are doing what they see work in movies/tv here.
  - copsarebastards 12y ago
    > On LinkedIn, I'd expect these guys to be old enough to know better in general, and even if not, old enough to know that doing this on a professional networking site is creepy. How would they know this? Just because they're older doesn't mean someone has explained this to them.

21 points by pmcpinto 12y ago

I don't understand the point of this site. Whilst Linkedin is obviously the wrong platform, these people aren't using vulgar or offensive language, they're simply using Linkedin's vast data and profiling information to their advantage - for a community that supports entrepenerialism and innovation I'm surprised to see a site like this on the homepage. labelling them as 'creeps' and calling them out on the internet/Hacker News seems a little harsh. I don't condone using Linkedin as a dating service (even though it does, arguably, hold very relevant data), but you do have to admire the spirit!

DanBC 12y ago
> these people aren't using vulgar or offensive language, Yes they are. It is offensive to ignore the reason why women use that site (to make professional connections) and then hit on them. That's not networking. There's no useful business going on when you tell someone that they have pretty eyes, while ignoring their business information.
- daveth3cat 12y ago
  I guess we disagree on that point then. I did say I don't condone it but calling these people out online as 'creeps' is harsh imo. Also you're assuming that all these 'creepy assholes' are men.
  - adaml_623 12y ago
    Nitpick: The previous poster is assuming that all the people being hit on are women. That doesn't equal an assumption that all creeps are men.
- PeterWhittaker 12y ago
  LinkedIn is intended as a business site. If the behaviour would be inappropriate in a business meeting, then it is inappropriate on LinkedIn.
  - collyw 12y ago
    I wish recruiters would see it that way. Phoning out of the blue at work, asking if I have time to speak. Ignoring me when I say no.

valdiorn 12y ago

Read through a few. Most are just very normal people saying hi to strangers. When did that get creepy? Everyone is a stranger the first time they meet. I've met more than one girlfriend online without knowing anything about them, and our first contact was pretty much exactly like those messages. If it's unwelcome, then just don't respond, or say "no thanks". Don't be an asshole and publicly humiliate people for reaching out and asking for a date. Shame on whoever created that bullshit site.

daveth3cat 12y ago
Agreed.
DanBC 12y ago
The current first page on that site are men making comments about the physical attractiveness of women. Those women are not on the site to have people talking about their looks. They're there to meet other business people. Do you really think it's acceptable to walk up to a stranger in some business context and tell them that they are very pretty, with a heart-melting smile, and then ask for a date?
- gizzlon 12y ago
  I didn't go outside today to have people begging me for money, but they did. I did not go to the office to have that boring annoying guy talk to me, but he did. I did not go to the cafe to have the cute barista girl smile at me, but she did.. Stuff happens, so what? How far do do you have to have a stick up your ass to be so offended by this it makes you start a blog? FFS..
  - cloakandswagger 12y ago
    Through the lens of modern social justice zealotry, you have a right--and others have an obligation--to never offend or impose upon your secret, unspoken list of hang-ups and triggers. Anyone who does is fair game for public shaming.

cheez 12y ago

I have to admit, there are some pretty hot recruiters on LinkedIn constantly coming to my profile wanting to connect. But yeah, it's a professional network with your name attached. Bad form to say "nah, but how about a date instead?"

cLeEOGPw 12y ago
They are honeypotting young guys. It's good idea to use attractive female to recruit (especially young) males, as well as attractive male to recruit females.

toolsadmin 12y ago

Found nothing wrong with Steward's message. Your "app" is a waste of cycles.

cLeEOGPw 12y ago
It's creepy because linkedin social network is environment where everyone is polite to each other and it is not the norm to make sexual advances in that environment. The same message from the same person would not be creepy if it would be on the dating site. It's the same situation where a coworker saying a compliment in the office is creepy, but random guy grabbing ass in the club is not. Creepiness is about deviation from social norm combined with the difference of attractiveness between individuals, not about absolute level of advance. Most people can feel it naturally, others lack such skill. If you lack it, read what I wrote and you can usually assess pretty accurately if an action can be considered creepy or not.
nyolfen 12y ago
he made repeated advances on the recipient, it's unprofessional and gross of him to do in the context of a business environment

MollyR 12y ago

More public shaming of people. Does this behavior simply come from misunderstanding of etiquette across sites ? Facebook etiquette is different than Linked etiquette, and those are different than twitter etiquette ? How does one truly figure out this network out ? I opt out because I'm afraid of being shamed. ex. Twitter it's rude to dot reply to someone ? I was shamed for that once before.

DanBC 12y ago
You're right that this type of public shaming is a bad idea. Anonymous shaming gets the point across - this unwanted attention is relentless and inappropriate, but without the risks of public shaming. > How does one truly figure out this network out? When you meet a woman in a business context talk to her about her business. Don't talk to her about her eyes or smile or hairstyle. It's not rocket science.
- MollyR 12y ago
  It's not rocket science but it's not instinct either. What/who defines the appropriate behavior in a business context. I say this because I've read books on appropriate business behavior in the context american vs chinese businesses, and its different. People have different interpretations of what appropriate behavior is in different contexts. Example: in some southern cities in the us, its weird or rude not to say hello to strangers on the street. In New york, its weird and rude to say hello to strangers on the street. How do people actually learn whats appropriate in business context ? Personally I read books like Corporate Confidential, How to make friends and influence people to learn it, but I found it far from easy. edit: anecdote: I've had women business managers compliment my hair style, I didn't feel it was inappropriate.

gizzlon 12y ago

AAHH, someone called someone pretty online.. bring out the tar and feathers

thrillgore 12y ago

There's not a "Report" function next to each message?

carsongross 12y ago

Socially awkward, unattractive men daring to talk to... women?!? How dare they? _begins weekly purge of LinkedIn messages from duckfaced, attractive female recruiters_

deckar01 12y ago
Imagine walking into an interview or phone screening and being hit on by the person who gets to decide if you are hired. After being dismissed for rejecting the creep's advances you will probably want to stop by HR on your way out. Actually HR might have been the appropriate move instead of a shame site.

copsarebastards 12y ago

Yes, these guys are creeps. But calling someone a creep doesn't make them any less of a creep, nor does it prevent them from being a creep in the future. If anything, it is likely to make them defensive and make it harder for someone else to fix the problem. Nobody hands you a rulebook when you start dating about how to do it. Particularly as a guy, if you do something inappropriate, you'll likely never find out about it--you'll just get rejected and never know why. It's only by luck that I've happened upon a set of behaviors that makes women feel safe around me. From this side of the fence I frequently hear women talking about how creepy someone is, but never telling that person. A lot of guys are creeps, not because they intend to cause any harm, but because nobody ever gave them any feedback about how they can do better. Now, I realize it's not women's responsibility to educate men on how to pursue dating appropriately. But at least don't make the problem worse. If you don't want to tell the person their behavior is inappropriate, that's fine. But if you have a problem with someone you should address it with that person, not go around talking about them behind their backs. Going around calling people creeps isn't appropriate behavior either. For my part, I try to explain to guys what they're doing wrong when I see it. But that's pretty difficult to do because calling people creeps has created a culture where it's nearly impossible to have a candid conversation about how men can learn to date appropriately.

moonka 12y ago
I can understand that logic when it comes to social networks that aren't geared towards professional connections like LinkedIn. On LinkedIn, I'd expect these guys to be old enough to know better in general, and even if not, old enough to know that doing this on a professional networking site is creepy. We aren't talking about high school boys who are doing what they see work in movies/tv here.
- copsarebastards 12y ago
  > On LinkedIn, I'd expect these guys to be old enough to know better in general, and even if not, old enough to know that doing this on a professional networking site is creepy. How would they know this? Just because they're older doesn't mean someone has explained this to them.