44 ms·

Honestly, as an employer, I really wouldn't care if my employees watched porn in his free time as long as he keeps it to himself. Our attraction to naked bodies

by ffn 12y ago

Honestly, as an employer, I really wouldn't care if my employees watched porn in his free time as long as he keeps it to himself. Our attraction to naked bodies of the opposite (or same) sex is as old as walking upright and is deeply and fundamentally a part of our humanity since our ancestors roamed the Serengeti. And while for the sake of social norms I'm more than willing to put aside my "dirty pastime" in a professional setting in today's modern age, if society is going to come around into my private life and "expose" that I look at porn in my off hours, I see no reason to feel ashamed or apologetic for it (unless it's my girlfriend who finds out, then all bets are off, and I will feel as much shame and apology as necessary).

thaumasiotes 12y ago
> Our attraction to naked bodies of the opposite (or same) sex is as old as walking upright Surely much older than that.
higherpurpose 12y ago
I agree that's how people should feel about it, and if they did that it would solve two major issues we have in the society right now (hopefully): 1) "sex scandals" - it seems politicians or others in power can't go to prison for stealing a lot of money or even murdering someone. But if they are involved in a sex scandal - well god may have mercy on their souls! Their careers are basically over then. It's also why intelligence agencies can have tremendous power over politicians, judges and so on, if they can "discredit them" through their porn or sex habits. That should stop happening. It should be a non-issue for everyone. 2) the more people are "okay" with porn or sexuality in general, the less likely it will be for some politicians one day to manage to pass a bill that criminalizes either porn in general, or specific kinds of porn or sexuality (like say gay porn).
- moe 12y ago
  "sex scandals" That seems to be mostly an american thing. Over here in Europe hardly anyone bats an eye when the latest sex-party involving Berlusconi, François Hollande/Sarkozy etc. is revealed. People only get upset when truly dirty stuff comes out, such as the child abuse ring involving british government figures[1]. [1] http://uk.reuters.com/article/2014/12/18/uk-britain-abuse-idUKKBN0JW1SO20141218 http://uk.reuters.com/article/2014/12/18/uk-britain-abuse-id...
  - hueving 12y ago
    Didn't the UK recently require people to register to be able to view porn?
    - moe 12y ago
      I'm not from the UK (and may thus stand corrected) but I think this law has very little support in the general population. It seems like merely the latest fig-leaf for another increase in mass surveillance and "guided democracy", which the UK is notorious[1] for. Many people are well aware that once these filter-systems are in place, they will inevitably be used not only to suppress porn, but also to "accidentally" suppress other things[2]. There has been quite a bit of backlash[3][4], but I guess we know how these things tend to pan out... [1] http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/10172298/One-surveillance-camera-for-every-11-people-in-Britain-says-CCTV-survey.html http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/10172298/One-surveilla... [2] https://www.techdirt.com/articles/20141208/06160229348/uk-web-filtering-blocks-access-to-website-europes-largest-oldest-hacking-community.shtml https://www.techdirt.com/articles/20141208/06160229348/uk-we... [3] http://www.theinquirer.net/inquirer/news/2285176/petition-asks-uk-government-to-forget-isp-porn-filtering http://www.theinquirer.net/inquirer/news/2285176/petition-as... [4] http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/thousands-sign-petition-against-uk-face-sitting-porn-ban-1479395 http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/thousands-sign-petition-against-uk-...
    - 192431665 12y ago
      Not quite. Most of the big ISPs were required to add an 'adult content' filter, which yes, basically blocks porn among other things. When signing up for a new broadband connection, the box enabling this 'adult content' filter is ticked by default, meaning you have to actively untick it. ISPs are also required to contact all existing customers somehow and ask them whether or not they want the filter enabled. No laws have been passed yet to enforce ISPs to do this, just pressure from David Cameron and campaigns by the Daily Mail and 'parent' groups and stuff, although David Cameron did say if the recently implemented system was not effective enough they would have to legislate (the problem now, is whether the 4-8% takeup on all but one isp is 'effective'.)
      - 12y ago
Qantourisc 12y ago
I'm afraid it's not about you specifically as an employer. It's about everyone and the judgement they might make depending upon.
m_st 12y ago
Try at least occasionally watching it together with your girlfriend. I'm sure you can find some movies/scenes that you both like. I made very positive experiences with that. Otherwise I absolutely agree with your comment. I don't give a sh*t whether you, my co-workers, my boss or my wife watch porn. I'd be rather more astonished to find out that some guy never watched it. It used to be complicated, but since the late nineties it's all 'just a click away' and free.
- madaxe_again 12y ago
  I don't give a shit, you don't give a shit, most of us who have our heads screwed on right don't give a shit. Unfortunately, however, plenty of shrill, god-fearing think-of-the-childrens do give a shit, and will hold your "sins" against you. Just hope that they're not going to be making major decisions about your life.
q-base 12y ago
The "problem" probably lies more in the type of porn people watch, than the fact that they watch porn at all. Exposing the former might be very embarrassing while the latter as you say - wouldn't.
- soylentcola 12y ago
  Yeah, I mean...you typically assume that any guy (and many gals) you're friends with or work with watches porn at least sometimes. And in your head it's just "porn" without much thought given to it. For better or worse, a person's sexual fantasies and proclivities are considered very personal and private. Knowing that the fella in the next office over doesn't just watch "porn" but rather that he watches a lot of scat porn or porn with specific focus on power play between (for example) people of different races or ages or is into any number of other fantasies...it might cause many people to get skeeved out. Even if you're fairly open minded and don't care that people you know could be watching any number of porn sub-types, there's something uncomfortable about knowing the specifics. It's like seeing someone defecating. Everyone does it but for whatever sociological reason, it's not something you want others to see (usually (see porn discussion)) or something you personally want to watch. I think on some level, the situation of "modern man" is one where we cultivate the image of our higher functions and logic while hiding the more primitive, animal sides. For many people, sexual activity and elimination are just too "gross" and primal for comfortable observation. Of course that transgression is the fuel for several fetishes but that's only tangentially related. The other thing to consider is that fantasies are often a way to address those primitive motivations and desires in a way that doesn't interfere with the operation of modern society. Maybe a woman likes the fantasy of a dominant or forceful partner even if actual coercion or rape would be horrifying. Maybe a man likes to fantasize about sex with a room full of women or people who look like his boss. In reality he's not going to attend orgies or pursue his employer but the fantasy is a way of exorcising and addressing what his lizard brain keeps pestering him about. When others learn of these fantasies and interests, how do you know they aren't going to draw the wrong conclusion? Your coworker probably isn't a rapist or a rape victim or planning to pursue their boss or someone who goes cruising for anonymous sex with lots of partners but when their porn history is exposed, how do their coworkers not recoil from them or judge them harshly for those thoughts? I guess in a perfect world we would all just accept sex fantasies as what they are but in reality, the line between public and private life is one that seeks to minimize the conflict that would arise if we really knew everything about other people.
falcolas 12y ago
As someone who got fired from Amazon for sexual harassment because I was viewing "porn" (the image in question was a hand-drawn signature on a game forum showing less skin than your average perfume ad)... this rings very true with me. I quickly learned two things: the viewpoint of your coworkers matters more than any facts, and we Americans are terribly prude. If someone wants you gone, you're probably going to be gone; it doesn't matter what you do.

by ffn 12y ago

thaumasiotes 12y ago

> Our attraction to naked bodies of the opposite (or same) sex is as old as walking upright Surely much older than that.

higherpurpose 12y ago

I agree that's how people should feel about it, and if they did that it would solve two major issues we have in the society right now (hopefully): 1) "sex scandals" - it seems politicians or others in power can't go to prison for stealing a lot of money or even murdering someone. But if they are involved in a sex scandal - well god may have mercy on their souls! Their careers are basically over then. It's also why intelligence agencies can have tremendous power over politicians, judges and so on, if they can "discredit them" through their porn or sex habits. That should stop happening. It should be a non-issue for everyone. 2) the more people are "okay" with porn or sexuality in general, the less likely it will be for some politicians one day to manage to pass a bill that criminalizes either porn in general, or specific kinds of porn or sexuality (like say gay porn).

moe 12y ago
"sex scandals" That seems to be mostly an american thing. Over here in Europe hardly anyone bats an eye when the latest sex-party involving Berlusconi, François Hollande/Sarkozy etc. is revealed. People only get upset when truly dirty stuff comes out, such as the child abuse ring involving british government figures[1]. [1] http://uk.reuters.com/article/2014/12/18/uk-britain-abuse-idUKKBN0JW1SO20141218 http://uk.reuters.com/article/2014/12/18/uk-britain-abuse-id...
- hueving 12y ago
  Didn't the UK recently require people to register to be able to view porn?
  - moe 12y ago
    I'm not from the UK (and may thus stand corrected) but I think this law has very little support in the general population. It seems like merely the latest fig-leaf for another increase in mass surveillance and "guided democracy", which the UK is notorious[1] for. Many people are well aware that once these filter-systems are in place, they will inevitably be used not only to suppress porn, but also to "accidentally" suppress other things[2]. There has been quite a bit of backlash[3][4], but I guess we know how these things tend to pan out... [1] http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/10172298/One-surveillance-camera-for-every-11-people-in-Britain-says-CCTV-survey.html http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/10172298/One-surveilla... [2] https://www.techdirt.com/articles/20141208/06160229348/uk-web-filtering-blocks-access-to-website-europes-largest-oldest-hacking-community.shtml https://www.techdirt.com/articles/20141208/06160229348/uk-we... [3] http://www.theinquirer.net/inquirer/news/2285176/petition-asks-uk-government-to-forget-isp-porn-filtering http://www.theinquirer.net/inquirer/news/2285176/petition-as... [4] http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/thousands-sign-petition-against-uk-face-sitting-porn-ban-1479395 http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/thousands-sign-petition-against-uk-...
  - 192431665 12y ago
    Not quite. Most of the big ISPs were required to add an 'adult content' filter, which yes, basically blocks porn among other things. When signing up for a new broadband connection, the box enabling this 'adult content' filter is ticked by default, meaning you have to actively untick it. ISPs are also required to contact all existing customers somehow and ask them whether or not they want the filter enabled. No laws have been passed yet to enforce ISPs to do this, just pressure from David Cameron and campaigns by the Daily Mail and 'parent' groups and stuff, although David Cameron did say if the recently implemented system was not effective enough they would have to legislate (the problem now, is whether the 4-8% takeup on all but one isp is 'effective'.)
    - 12y ago

Qantourisc 12y ago

I'm afraid it's not about you specifically as an employer. It's about everyone and the judgement they might make depending upon.

m_st 12y ago

Try at least occasionally watching it together with your girlfriend. I'm sure you can find some movies/scenes that you both like. I made very positive experiences with that. Otherwise I absolutely agree with your comment. I don't give a sh*t whether you, my co-workers, my boss or my wife watch porn. I'd be rather more astonished to find out that some guy never watched it. It used to be complicated, but since the late nineties it's all 'just a click away' and free.

madaxe_again 12y ago
I don't give a shit, you don't give a shit, most of us who have our heads screwed on right don't give a shit. Unfortunately, however, plenty of shrill, god-fearing think-of-the-childrens do give a shit, and will hold your "sins" against you. Just hope that they're not going to be making major decisions about your life.

q-base 12y ago

The "problem" probably lies more in the type of porn people watch, than the fact that they watch porn at all. Exposing the former might be very embarrassing while the latter as you say - wouldn't.

soylentcola 12y ago
Yeah, I mean...you typically assume that any guy (and many gals) you're friends with or work with watches porn at least sometimes. And in your head it's just "porn" without much thought given to it. For better or worse, a person's sexual fantasies and proclivities are considered very personal and private. Knowing that the fella in the next office over doesn't just watch "porn" but rather that he watches a lot of scat porn or porn with specific focus on power play between (for example) people of different races or ages or is into any number of other fantasies...it might cause many people to get skeeved out. Even if you're fairly open minded and don't care that people you know could be watching any number of porn sub-types, there's something uncomfortable about knowing the specifics. It's like seeing someone defecating. Everyone does it but for whatever sociological reason, it's not something you want others to see (usually (see porn discussion)) or something you personally want to watch. I think on some level, the situation of "modern man" is one where we cultivate the image of our higher functions and logic while hiding the more primitive, animal sides. For many people, sexual activity and elimination are just too "gross" and primal for comfortable observation. Of course that transgression is the fuel for several fetishes but that's only tangentially related. The other thing to consider is that fantasies are often a way to address those primitive motivations and desires in a way that doesn't interfere with the operation of modern society. Maybe a woman likes the fantasy of a dominant or forceful partner even if actual coercion or rape would be horrifying. Maybe a man likes to fantasize about sex with a room full of women or people who look like his boss. In reality he's not going to attend orgies or pursue his employer but the fantasy is a way of exorcising and addressing what his lizard brain keeps pestering him about. When others learn of these fantasies and interests, how do you know they aren't going to draw the wrong conclusion? Your coworker probably isn't a rapist or a rape victim or planning to pursue their boss or someone who goes cruising for anonymous sex with lots of partners but when their porn history is exposed, how do their coworkers not recoil from them or judge them harshly for those thoughts? I guess in a perfect world we would all just accept sex fantasies as what they are but in reality, the line between public and private life is one that seeks to minimize the conflict that would arise if we really knew everything about other people.

falcolas 12y ago

As someone who got fired from Amazon for sexual harassment because I was viewing "porn" (the image in question was a hand-drawn signature on a game forum showing less skin than your average perfume ad)... this rings very true with me. I quickly learned two things: the viewpoint of your coworkers matters more than any facts, and we Americans are terribly prude. If someone wants you gone, you're probably going to be gone; it doesn't matter what you do.