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Well, as an example, when I'm working in a mixed team of say 2 women and 5 men, and we're in a meeting discussing technical options, I may tend to give the wome
by bdamm 12y ago
Well, as an example, when I'm working in a mixed team of say 2 women and 5 men, and we're in a meeting discussing technical options, I may tend to give the women more eye contact than the men. This can go two ways for the women; it can be considered leering (I try very hard not to do that, but it is very difficult) and so that is an example of harassment. But in a way I am also giving away power to the women; power that they did nothing to earn other than be pretty.
One option is to stay heads down and surf ycombinator during a meeting. That way I'll not look at anyone inappropriately. That is not great for me though.
- leif 12y agoYou could try talking to them about this. Try "hey, I understand being in this industry can be difficult as a woman, I am not very familiar with the problem but I don't want to be part of it, and I'm concerned about how much eye contact I'm giving you during meetings. I don't want to make you uncomfortable with my eye contact or this question, but is it a problem for you?" Most likely they'll tell you they have a lot of worse things to deal with than how much eye contact you're giving them, but it'll be a learning experience and at least you'll open up a dialogue.