5 ms·
Well she writes like a junior because she is. But the main points she makes - subtle sexism regarding capability in the face of equivalent effort - are certain
by bdamm 12y ago
Well she writes like a junior because she is. But the main points she makes - subtle sexism regarding capability in the face of equivalent effort - are certainly observable and do ring true.
When I see articles like this (and the issue of sexism in computing does pop up quite often) I usually agree. It is there. But what can be done? I myself have been a disgusting example of a male engineer at times. And as much as I would love to permanently erase any male/female alteration of my behavior in a professional context, the reality is I do not become asexual when I go to work. I'm still a man. What to do?
- nijiko 12y agoBe the change you want.
- deleted 12y ago[deleted]
- bdamm 12y agoWell, as an example, when I'm working in a mixed team of say 2 women and 5 men, and we're in a meeting discussing technical options, I may tend to give the women more eye contact than the men. This can go two ways for the women; it can be considered leering (I try very hard not to do that, but it is very difficult) and so that is an example of harassment. But in a way I am also giving away power to the women; power that they did nothing to earn other than be pretty. One option is to stay heads down and surf ycombinator during a meeting. That way I'll not look at anyone inappropriately. That is not great for me though.
- leif 12y agoYou could try talking to them about this. Try "hey, I understand being in this industry can be difficult as a woman, I am not very familiar with the problem but I don't want to be part of it, and I'm concerned about how much eye contact I'm giving you during meetings. I don't want to make you uncomfortable with my eye contact or this question, but is it a problem for you?" Most likely they'll tell you they have a lot of worse things to deal with than how much eye contact you're giving them, but it'll be a learning experience and at least you'll open up a dialogue.
- deleted 12y ago[deleted]
- leif 12y agoYou've successfully completed steps 1 and 2: 1. Acknowledge there is a real problem. 2. Acknowledge you are part of the problem. Now, on to steps 3-n! 3. Don't be discouraged, accept that there are things you can do to help! This is good, you're about to become a more valuable member of society. 4. Accept that you need to put in some effort. Not much, don't worry. Most of it is shutting up. 5. Read what women write about this problem. They're all experts because they've been studying it literally their entire lives. 6. Learn (from step 5 and some self-reflection) how to recognize in real time when you're being a jerk. Then stop. Now it gets a little harder. But remember, not nearly as hard as being a woman in tech, so buck up, kid! 7. Learn (from step 5) how to recognize in real time when other people are being jerks, and good techniques for how to advocate on behalf of women. This takes practice and courage, keep at it. 8. You'll be tempted to brag about how helpful you are to women (hi @wadhwa). Resist this temptation. Whenever you feel yourself about to tell someone how great and helpful you are, instead, show them something an actual woman has said about their problems, and try to point them in the right direction. Note that you can replace "woman/women" in the above with any minority/disenfranchised/disadvantaged group you want to help, and the same formula pretty much works verbatim.
- Jimmy 12y ago>Accept that you need to put in some effort. Not much, don't worry. Most of it is shutting up. Disgusting.
- deleted 12y ago[deleted]
- b6 12y agoI first ran into this idea here[1] where one of the best ways to "push back against privilege" was "shut up". [1] http://www.blackgirldangerous.org/2014/02/4-ways-push-back-privilege/ http://www.blackgirldangerous.org/2014/02/4-ways-push-back-p...
- Jimmy 12y agoOh, I'm aware of the idea's genesis and purpose. I just happen to not think much of it.
- jchung 12y agoSome things I do* I try to be aware of my own biases when I'm in the office. Sometimes I schedule a little time to think specifically about them and try to identify potential moments I made assumptions I shouldn't have. When I feel that a male colleague is exhibiting concerning behavior I discuss it with them. I ask my female colleagues what we need to do to support their success and I listen to what they have to say. I do 1-on-1s with all of my colleagues to ask them whether they feel their perspectives are adequately heard and acted upon. When I see something that isn't right, I say "that's not right." When I hear a joke or comment that sounds "off", I say "hey man, that's off key -- keep it professional". I discuss equality with my wife and I listen to her perspective. I encourage and support her career ambitions even when they force me to make trade offs against my own. Now that I think about it, I ascribe many of these behaviors (perhaps not all) to my ideals of professionalism and effective management practices. * n of one. I'm not an expert. I'm male.
- Jimmy 12y agoStop feeling ashamed of yourself, for one. It's almost certainly because you're paying too much attention to external standards of behavior that have been imposed upon you.
- emmab 12y agoWell, you could try anti-androgens like finasteride or spironolactone. They would lower your libido.