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Unexpected pregnancy is only a fraction of the problems that birth control brings. I've had way too many friends struggle for years to find the "right birth con

Unexpected pregnancy is only a fraction of the problems that birth control brings. I've had way too many friends struggle for years to find the "right birth control for them" at a high personal cost. Unsurprisingly, trying to make your body think it's already pregnant via external hormones can have some significant side effects. I mean, I suppose decreased libido probably contributes to the effectiveness of a birth control method, but why bother? Or how about some frustrating weight gain from your body trying to nurture and protect a non-existent baby? Or maybe you prefer that sex become uncomfortable or painful? Even IUDs are only recommended if you're not thinking about ever having kids; the danger of infertility is still too high. "I don't want to wear condoms" is all-too-often the only reason that hormonal birth control is ever considered. It's my personal opinion that men are the ones that need to suck it up. Every time. Chances sex is less pleasurable for men? Probably 100%. But the chances that hormonal birth control will significantly diminish some woman's quality of life are statistically significant. The only way to avoid it is to go with condoms. Don't want kids? Don't want to take chances? Don't have sex. You think it's a coincidence that one of the most pleasurable experiences possible also happens to lead to the continuation of our species? Ha.

davyjones 12y ago
> Don't want kids? Don't want to take chances? Don't have sex. If you are done with predetermined quota, one can go under the knife and start shooting blanks at no bodily cost.
- Klinky 12y ago
  Even vasectomy is not perfect. There is risk involved with the procedure. You're likely going to get a lecture regardless of how many kids you've had, and if you've had zero be prepared for outright refusal by many doctors. There is also some stigma attached to it. Some women find a man who's had a vasectomy a turn off.
  - cpursley 12y ago
    > Some women find a man who's had a vasectomy a turn off Of course, this is a mating game. The time to get a vasectomy is after having children in a relationship that you know is going to last.
  - andrewstuart2 12y ago
    This is true. As evidence to the fact, I have a little brother who is 15 years younger than me :-)
  - mdpm 12y ago
    Never heard / found that? I did the chop, and had I wanted more, I would have frozen some sperm. The procedure itself is also reversible. Considering the cost/benefit ratio, and the risks of male vs. those of female sterilisation, I consider not doing it selfish and boorish.
    - Klinky 12y ago
      Well I did experience pushback when I had my vasectomy at 22 with no kids. I've also read of men with multiple children getting lectured about the procedure. It is potentially reversible, not 100% reversible. There is a huge chance you'll be sterile for life. Some men also report post-vasectomy pain syndrome.
h34t 12y ago
From what I've read, IUDs do not cause infertility. Eg/ http://www.livescience.com/21866-iud-gynecologists-birth-control-myths.html http://www.livescience.com/21866-iud-gynecologists-birth-con...
leoh 12y ago
The bigger problem with IUDs is that they can be exceptionally painful. Also, while people often seek out alternative birth control when they don't want to use condoms, the article clearly articulated a pretty high failure rate over ten years.
Lazare 12y ago
Your information on IUDs is very out of date. Assuming you can pass an on-the-spot STI test and the time of insertion, IUDs are not considered to have any impact on fertility at this time.
- andrewstuart2 12y ago
  Then our Doctors' information on IUDs was also very out of date. That was their recommendation. Despite the low risks, they were still risks we weren't willing to take.
  - DanBC 12y ago
    That just sounds like your doctor didn't understand the risks or did understand but failed to explain the risks. http://livescience.com/21866-iud-gynecologists-birth-control-myths.html http://livescience.com/21866-iud-gynecologists-birth-control... Modern IUDs do not cause disease; may be protective against disease; and the original faulty models may have been wrongly blamed for disease which was prevalent in the population.
    - andrewstuart2 12y ago
      Agreed, but IUDs by definition are implanted into the uterine wall, manually. Doctors can make mistakes or their hands can slip, causing a perforated uterus, which in turn can cause infertility.
      - DanBC 12y ago
        But the doctor did not tell you how often that happens. So you have some unknown risk - how is anyone expected to make an informed choice? Everything carries some risk. Female hormonal contraception carries some risk of death. (About 12 women per 10,000 taking the pill will experience a blood clot each year. This is potentially a life-changing or even life ending event.) http://www.nhs.uk/news/2014/02February/Pages/Media-hype-blood-clot-risk-of-birth-control-pills.aspx http://www.nhs.uk/news/2014/02February/Pages/Media-hype-bloo...
radarsat1 12y ago
Why do you assume that condoms are only less pleasurable for men?
- andrewstuart2 12y ago
  I never said "only" in that context.
  - emn13 12y ago
    Then you need to phrase your rants better, because that interpretation is definitely the most reasonable.
  - radarsat1 12y ago
    It seems pretty strongly implied by, "It's my personal opinion that men are the ones that need to suck it up."
intopieces 12y ago
>Don't want kids? Don't want to take chances? Don't have sex This attitude has served our young people terribly [0]. Whether or not you support abstinence-only education, your absolute refusal to acknowledge the reality of human relationships and the sexual involvement that comes with it makes your advice worthless, akin to saying "Don't want to die in a car-wreck? Don't want to take chances? Don't leave your house." http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17885460 http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17885460
- andrewstuart2 12y ago
  Your linked article is not at all talking about what I'm saying. All I'm saying by that is that there is one and only one guaranteed way to avoid pregnancy. I'm all for proper education on the alternatives but abstinence is the only contraceptive that's 100% effective at preventing pregnancy. That's why the "don't want to take chances" portion of my conclusion is so critical. Education that contraceptives are imperfect is also critical IMO.
  - intopieces 12y ago
    Yes, you are correct that this is the only way guaranteed way to prevent pregnancy. That information is not only obvious and well-known (I'm not sure there is a group of people who thinks you can get pregnant without having intercourse), but the attitude behind it perpetuates a culture of misinformation, lack of information, and sex-negativity. You say you're pro-education, but your attitude doesn't reflect that, as it matches precisely the group of people that preach otherwise.
  - Klinky 12y ago
    Your code will never fail, if you never code. Abstinence is basically off topic in this discussion. The goal is to "avoid pregnancy while having sex". Not having sex, is not a solution to this goal. Telling someone not to drive if they don't want to die in a car crash, does not move car safety forward. Abstinence is often used as an extinguisher of information, not as a motivator.
danbolt 12y ago
I don't know if I 100% agree with all of your points there, but I can see where you're coming from on them. Regardless, I do really feel you're spot on about the attitudes that some gentlemen out there have towards condoms. Or, condoms are so inexpensive and practical, it makes a lot of sense to use them. Not to mention if they're properly sized they won't hurt or feel uncomfortable.

davyjones 12y ago

> Don't want kids? Don't want to take chances? Don't have sex. If you are done with predetermined quota, one can go under the knife and start shooting blanks at no bodily cost.

Klinky 12y ago
Even vasectomy is not perfect. There is risk involved with the procedure. You're likely going to get a lecture regardless of how many kids you've had, and if you've had zero be prepared for outright refusal by many doctors. There is also some stigma attached to it. Some women find a man who's had a vasectomy a turn off.
- cpursley 12y ago
  > Some women find a man who's had a vasectomy a turn off Of course, this is a mating game. The time to get a vasectomy is after having children in a relationship that you know is going to last.
- andrewstuart2 12y ago
  This is true. As evidence to the fact, I have a little brother who is 15 years younger than me :-)
- mdpm 12y ago
  Never heard / found that? I did the chop, and had I wanted more, I would have frozen some sperm. The procedure itself is also reversible. Considering the cost/benefit ratio, and the risks of male vs. those of female sterilisation, I consider not doing it selfish and boorish.
  - Klinky 12y ago
    Well I did experience pushback when I had my vasectomy at 22 with no kids. I've also read of men with multiple children getting lectured about the procedure. It is potentially reversible, not 100% reversible. There is a huge chance you'll be sterile for life. Some men also report post-vasectomy pain syndrome.

h34t 12y ago

From what I've read, IUDs do not cause infertility. Eg/ http://www.livescience.com/21866-iud-gynecologists-birth-control-myths.html http://www.livescience.com/21866-iud-gynecologists-birth-con...

leoh 12y ago

The bigger problem with IUDs is that they can be exceptionally painful. Also, while people often seek out alternative birth control when they don't want to use condoms, the article clearly articulated a pretty high failure rate over ten years.

Lazare 12y ago

Your information on IUDs is very out of date. Assuming you can pass an on-the-spot STI test and the time of insertion, IUDs are not considered to have any impact on fertility at this time.

andrewstuart2 12y ago
Then our Doctors' information on IUDs was also very out of date. That was their recommendation. Despite the low risks, they were still risks we weren't willing to take.
- DanBC 12y ago
  That just sounds like your doctor didn't understand the risks or did understand but failed to explain the risks. http://livescience.com/21866-iud-gynecologists-birth-control-myths.html http://livescience.com/21866-iud-gynecologists-birth-control... Modern IUDs do not cause disease; may be protective against disease; and the original faulty models may have been wrongly blamed for disease which was prevalent in the population.
  - andrewstuart2 12y ago
    Agreed, but IUDs by definition are implanted into the uterine wall, manually. Doctors can make mistakes or their hands can slip, causing a perforated uterus, which in turn can cause infertility.
    - DanBC 12y ago
      But the doctor did not tell you how often that happens. So you have some unknown risk - how is anyone expected to make an informed choice? Everything carries some risk. Female hormonal contraception carries some risk of death. (About 12 women per 10,000 taking the pill will experience a blood clot each year. This is potentially a life-changing or even life ending event.) http://www.nhs.uk/news/2014/02February/Pages/Media-hype-blood-clot-risk-of-birth-control-pills.aspx http://www.nhs.uk/news/2014/02February/Pages/Media-hype-bloo...

radarsat1 12y ago

Why do you assume that condoms are only less pleasurable for men?

andrewstuart2 12y ago
I never said "only" in that context.
- emn13 12y ago
  Then you need to phrase your rants better, because that interpretation is definitely the most reasonable.
- radarsat1 12y ago
  It seems pretty strongly implied by, "It's my personal opinion that men are the ones that need to suck it up."

intopieces 12y ago

>Don't want kids? Don't want to take chances? Don't have sex This attitude has served our young people terribly [0]. Whether or not you support abstinence-only education, your absolute refusal to acknowledge the reality of human relationships and the sexual involvement that comes with it makes your advice worthless, akin to saying "Don't want to die in a car-wreck? Don't want to take chances? Don't leave your house." http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17885460 http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17885460

andrewstuart2 12y ago
Your linked article is not at all talking about what I'm saying. All I'm saying by that is that there is one and only one guaranteed way to avoid pregnancy. I'm all for proper education on the alternatives but abstinence is the only contraceptive that's 100% effective at preventing pregnancy. That's why the "don't want to take chances" portion of my conclusion is so critical. Education that contraceptives are imperfect is also critical IMO.
- intopieces 12y ago
  Yes, you are correct that this is the only way guaranteed way to prevent pregnancy. That information is not only obvious and well-known (I'm not sure there is a group of people who thinks you can get pregnant without having intercourse), but the attitude behind it perpetuates a culture of misinformation, lack of information, and sex-negativity. You say you're pro-education, but your attitude doesn't reflect that, as it matches precisely the group of people that preach otherwise.
- Klinky 12y ago
  Your code will never fail, if you never code. Abstinence is basically off topic in this discussion. The goal is to "avoid pregnancy while having sex". Not having sex, is not a solution to this goal. Telling someone not to drive if they don't want to die in a car crash, does not move car safety forward. Abstinence is often used as an extinguisher of information, not as a motivator.

danbolt 12y ago

I don't know if I 100% agree with all of your points there, but I can see where you're coming from on them. Regardless, I do really feel you're spot on about the attitudes that some gentlemen out there have towards condoms. Or, condoms are so inexpensive and practical, it makes a lot of sense to use them. Not to mention if they're properly sized they won't hurt or feel uncomfortable.