5 ms·

Not necessarily related to introverts per-se, but I see it a lot in the geeky stereotype. Try getting good clothes. Go to a good store and let the people do th

Not necessarily related to introverts per-se, but I see it a lot in the geeky stereotype. Try getting good clothes. Go to a good store and let the people do their thing. (Or otherwise find some fashion advice). I did this as an experiment a few years back. Just walked into a place, gave em some cash and said make me look less of a dork. (I usually just wore slacks and a plain tshirt, mostly dark colors, nothing worth noting other than it's lameness and banality.) The difference was immediate. Night and day. People just noticed and responded better to me, everywhere. It was like this secret power, just putting on a Wardrobe of Charisma +5. It was bizarre. I haven't kept it up at all, mainly due to lack of need of charisma in general. I've known that dressing up, like wearing a good suit, can be effective in social engineering situations, but I wasn't aware of how powerful just dressing "nice" versus "usable" had just walking around. I'm sure this is all well-known to most people and you might be shaking your head at the basics of life I am so amazed by, but perhaps someone will find this an interesting anecdote. Edit: I'd also note that I did what he suggested, too. I look back at my blog and cringe. But I got a fair amount of contacts, book deals (which I never followed through on properly), even respect from strangers on a few occasions, on account of me being active publicly. And back then people linked a lot to random blog posts (maybe they still do) and without any effort, I had a PR6 site which was sorta cool. As a bad career move, I got embarrassed about things and decided I wasn't as good as I thought I was and stopped writing and self-promoting. Traffic and PR went down accordingly.

Paul_Dessert 12y ago
That's very good advice! Sometimes we completely overlook the basics, I know I do from time to time.
ribs 12y ago
C'mon man, keep those threads fresh. The clothes that is. Stuff gets worn and it no longer gives you the boost. Go buy some more fly duds.
jeffwass 12y ago
> It was like this secret power, just putting on a Wardrobe of Charisma +5. That made me chuckle. Mind commenting on what kind of clothes they offered and for what sort of price range?
- civilian 12y ago
  You might get some mileage out of: www.reddit.com/r/malefashionadvice
  - BSousa 12y ago
    If you do go there, please take in account that a lot of the advice there is not really what you want unless you want to look to other 20ish year olds going out to bars/clubs. You will get mileage of going to a decent store and tell them you want to look for: going out/work event/golfing/etc. What loks good for trendy 20's in new york will look out of place/weird at a marina or a friend's birthday party. As everything, context matters!
- pm90 12y ago
  Adding more to civilian's comment: you will find both good and bad advice in that subreddit. I think a decent wardrobe (fitting shirt, fitting pants, leather shoes, belt) can be acquired for within $500 if you hit Macy's or other department stores. Try not to buy super expensive stuff; clothes and shoes are easy to ruin, and my personal rule of thumb is that its better to buy cheap and replace than to buy some insanely expensive shoes and then be distraught when you spill beer over it or something. Another advice: its all about the fit. If you really want to look good, find clothes that fit really well. Don't try to be 'flashy' or different, it will usually backfire.
- MichaelGG 12y ago
  I was visiting Orange County (ugh) then, and just went to some upscale men's clothing shop/boutique. Shirts were about $100-300 each, pants $100-200, shoes another $100. (I had a very friendly expense account at the time.) This was south California casual, I guess? Shoes that look good sockless (or wear those little liner socks). Button-down shirts that have some simple design. It was nothing really, and I'd have no problem doing outfits that good myself now, after spending perhaps 10-15 hours reading about fashion and trying stuff out. But at the time it was revelatory. I am certain that many guys in my position would do fine just going any decent-looking clothing store and asking the salesguy to make you look OK. They're good enough to not let you leave looking like a dweeb. Personally I like some of Banana Republic's stuff, as it's higher quality than Target, and still casual (yet the other half of the inventory seems very "douchy"). People are so vulnerable to social manipulation via clothing and all sorts of other means. The stereotypical programmer person looks down on this, perhaps because they're not comfortable, or because it feels "fake". It might be useful to view social as just another system to be hacked. And in the process, one might realise it doesn't have to be fake and can be quite rewarding. Yes, I know, this reeks of just blindly following trends and conformity. But we don't say that of other hacks. "Loser! You just shoved some escape characters into a querystring and looked for issues. That's so common, you're such a sheep." Yeah, maybe, but the end result is what matters. And feel free to A/B test versus wearing a "I'm too CSSy for this shirt" tee and decide which leads to a more fulfilling experience. [The irony of me giving out fashion and social advice. Like someone advising you to "buy a computer with Internet; that's my favourite program".]
sanoli 12y ago
Two best things, bar none, that a geek can do, if that's what he wants to accomplish: begin working out, and get non-geek clothes (my wife calls them 'anti-girlfriend shirts', when referring to the only-hackers-get-the-inside-joke-on-the-message shirts).
pm90 12y ago
I feel that a lot of geeks underestimate their attractiveness. Geekiness seems to be accepted and even cool in today's society. Geeks will usually have a good job or be doing something interesting, and will generally have their lives in order. The only thing that seems to be really holding them back is some kind of devotion to bad clothing: sneakers and hoodies might be great for Zuck, but for the rest of us non-billionaires, a little better clothes don't hurt.

Paul_Dessert 12y ago

That's very good advice! Sometimes we completely overlook the basics, I know I do from time to time.

ribs 12y ago

C'mon man, keep those threads fresh. The clothes that is. Stuff gets worn and it no longer gives you the boost. Go buy some more fly duds.

jeffwass 12y ago

> It was like this secret power, just putting on a Wardrobe of Charisma +5. That made me chuckle. Mind commenting on what kind of clothes they offered and for what sort of price range?

civilian 12y ago
You might get some mileage out of: www.reddit.com/r/malefashionadvice
- BSousa 12y ago
  If you do go there, please take in account that a lot of the advice there is not really what you want unless you want to look to other 20ish year olds going out to bars/clubs. You will get mileage of going to a decent store and tell them you want to look for: going out/work event/golfing/etc. What loks good for trendy 20's in new york will look out of place/weird at a marina or a friend's birthday party. As everything, context matters!
pm90 12y ago
Adding more to civilian's comment: you will find both good and bad advice in that subreddit. I think a decent wardrobe (fitting shirt, fitting pants, leather shoes, belt) can be acquired for within $500 if you hit Macy's or other department stores. Try not to buy super expensive stuff; clothes and shoes are easy to ruin, and my personal rule of thumb is that its better to buy cheap and replace than to buy some insanely expensive shoes and then be distraught when you spill beer over it or something. Another advice: its all about the fit. If you really want to look good, find clothes that fit really well. Don't try to be 'flashy' or different, it will usually backfire.
MichaelGG 12y ago
I was visiting Orange County (ugh) then, and just went to some upscale men's clothing shop/boutique. Shirts were about $100-300 each, pants $100-200, shoes another $100. (I had a very friendly expense account at the time.) This was south California casual, I guess? Shoes that look good sockless (or wear those little liner socks). Button-down shirts that have some simple design. It was nothing really, and I'd have no problem doing outfits that good myself now, after spending perhaps 10-15 hours reading about fashion and trying stuff out. But at the time it was revelatory. I am certain that many guys in my position would do fine just going any decent-looking clothing store and asking the salesguy to make you look OK. They're good enough to not let you leave looking like a dweeb. Personally I like some of Banana Republic's stuff, as it's higher quality than Target, and still casual (yet the other half of the inventory seems very "douchy"). People are so vulnerable to social manipulation via clothing and all sorts of other means. The stereotypical programmer person looks down on this, perhaps because they're not comfortable, or because it feels "fake". It might be useful to view social as just another system to be hacked. And in the process, one might realise it doesn't have to be fake and can be quite rewarding. Yes, I know, this reeks of just blindly following trends and conformity. But we don't say that of other hacks. "Loser! You just shoved some escape characters into a querystring and looked for issues. That's so common, you're such a sheep." Yeah, maybe, but the end result is what matters. And feel free to A/B test versus wearing a "I'm too CSSy for this shirt" tee and decide which leads to a more fulfilling experience. [The irony of me giving out fashion and social advice. Like someone advising you to "buy a computer with Internet; that's my favourite program".]

sanoli 12y ago

Two best things, bar none, that a geek can do, if that's what he wants to accomplish: begin working out, and get non-geek clothes (my wife calls them 'anti-girlfriend shirts', when referring to the only-hackers-get-the-inside-joke-on-the-message shirts).

pm90 12y ago

I feel that a lot of geeks underestimate their attractiveness. Geekiness seems to be accepted and even cool in today's society. Geeks will usually have a good job or be doing something interesting, and will generally have their lives in order. The only thing that seems to be really holding them back is some kind of devotion to bad clothing: sneakers and hoodies might be great for Zuck, but for the rest of us non-billionaires, a little better clothes don't hurt.