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"And he can't be bothered to give any shits about trademarking it today because he's too busy raking in roughly all the money." What a car-crash of a sentence.
by 9point6 12y ago
"And he can't be bothered to give any shits about trademarking it today because he's too busy raking in roughly all the money."
What a car-crash of a sentence.
- Borogravia 12y agoStrongly disagree. Inelegant, but effective.
- jonnathanson 12y agoIt would be a lot more effective if it were elegant. The colloqualisms shoehorned into that sentence do it no favors.
- blakeja 12y agoWelcome to the rest of the world where people talk that way everywhere, everyday.
- jonnathanson 12y agoIt's not about the use of those phrases; it's about the way he integrates them into the sentence. It's clumsy. When I use the word "elegant" here, I don't mean it in the sense of formality of language. I mean it in the sense of conveying a point as clearly and economically as possible. The biggest problem with his sentence is that it's overloaded with baggage. It reads as if the author liked the sound of a couple of fun phrases, then crammed them into the sentence.
- bsmith 12y ago"What a car-crash of a sentence." *car crash
- dragonwriter 12y agoor "car-crash sentence"