You're obviously depressed, and as a result being ridiculous. I've met many SDEs who are pretty poor developers, and unless they are completely fresh, they usua

You're obviously depressed, and as a result being ridiculous. I've met many SDEs who are pretty poor developers, and unless they are completely fresh, they usually just aren't good because they don't care. You obviously do care, and realize (and exaggerate I imagine) your shortcomings. Better still, you are trying to improve by asking here. So, I'd like to begin by saying that while you may (feel as though you are) not good enough, you just need to be patient because I'm sure one day you're going to be awesome. Now for more practical advice, I would say the best thing to do would be to just code more. That sounds stupid, but it really is the best thing to do. Even better would be to code with someone else on a project together, so that you can see each other's code. I definitely learned a lot from reading other people's code, either from learning new things or also from finding ways to improve their code. If you can't find someone else to code with, that's fine, but try to read some code. Finally, I would really recommend you try to do a relatively big project. The reason is that when you work on small projects you don't really have to worry about maintenance and thus code structure, but when you work on bigger projects having your code be concise and clean is much more important. Even having good style is important. In any case, I'm sure you'll be fine! Find something that interests you and keep doing stuff! If you can't think of a cool project you can always go on HackerRank or Project Euler. Maybe you could even prepare for this year's Google Code Jam! You could then start building your own little library for competition problems!