2 ms·

I met my fiancé in a bar at a meetup for a dating network in 2011 while I was living in London - ironically we weren't members, but had both been dragged along

I met my fiancé in a bar at a meetup for a dating network in 2011 while I was living in London - ironically we weren't members, but had both been dragged along by friends. Before that I had extensively tried OkCupid, I went on a fair few dates, but to be honest most of the people I met were weirdos... I also tried some of the early location based apps, but even in central London people were few and far between. The problem with sites like OkCupid is people are desperately looking for someone who they have that deep connection with. As your profile gives out so much information, you really dig into the personality of a potential match to see whether they check all the boxes - and in almost all cases they won't. Rather than risking going on a date, they just skip past and wonder how many cats they should buy. If I came across my fiancé on a dating site, I would of no doubt thought "meh", but here we are nearly 4 years later living together in another continent. I think Tinder has a lot more potential. Rather than chatting for weeks before meeting someone, you can be a lot more spontaneous by just matching then meeting up for a date. It's a lot more akin to hitting it off with someone out of the blue, than with a dating site where you feel like you know half there is to know about the person before you even meet. I'd much rather meet someone on a Tinder-like service than a dating site. As I understand Tinder is still very casual sex focussed, but as it gets more popular I hope it will turn into a more PG-friendly community. Most people are very materialistic and just want to be with someone who is attractive. This is what Tinder focuses on, so maybe it isn't necessarily the app for this.

joesmo 12y ago
"Rather than chatting for weeks before meeting someone, you can be a lot more spontaneous by just matching then meeting up for a date." I think you hit the nail on the head here. This is exactly why Tinder is so popular, IMO. (Almost) No one wants to waste time chatting online. And everyone (no almost here) considers beauty first and foremost when looking for a mate. It's just truly a shame that this is the only reputation the app has and it seems to be this way because people associate it with "shallowness" while they stand on a high ground doing exactly what everyone else is doing: looking at pictures and judging them on beauty. Regardless of the site (or off-site IRL), that's what happens. Let's face it, no one is spending time on okcupid or match deeply analyzing other profiles' text. The only people it matters to are the people creating the profile who think it actually matters (it doesn't). I would bet money that if the text part of profiles on a traditional dating site were put a mere extra click away, while the photos stayed on the main page, the visit rate would be abysmal. The genius of Tinder has been to recognize this and remove the unnecessary garbage content. Really, in dating, before you've met anyone, all text is garbage, including the paltry meager pleasantries exchanged on the way to actually setting up a real date in person. The actual in person date is the only thing that matters and Tinder has realized that and done away with the rest. If it wasn't for the perception that it's only about hooking up, I'd say this is really the perfect dating app.

joesmo 12y ago

"Rather than chatting for weeks before meeting someone, you can be a lot more spontaneous by just matching then meeting up for a date." I think you hit the nail on the head here. This is exactly why Tinder is so popular, IMO. (Almost) No one wants to waste time chatting online. And everyone (no almost here) considers beauty first and foremost when looking for a mate. It's just truly a shame that this is the only reputation the app has and it seems to be this way because people associate it with "shallowness" while they stand on a high ground doing exactly what everyone else is doing: looking at pictures and judging them on beauty. Regardless of the site (or off-site IRL), that's what happens. Let's face it, no one is spending time on okcupid or match deeply analyzing other profiles' text. The only people it matters to are the people creating the profile who think it actually matters (it doesn't). I would bet money that if the text part of profiles on a traditional dating site were put a mere extra click away, while the photos stayed on the main page, the visit rate would be abysmal. The genius of Tinder has been to recognize this and remove the unnecessary garbage content. Really, in dating, before you've met anyone, all text is garbage, including the paltry meager pleasantries exchanged on the way to actually setting up a real date in person. The actual in person date is the only thing that matters and Tinder has realized that and done away with the rest. If it wasn't for the perception that it's only about hooking up, I'd say this is really the perfect dating app.