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There was a post on HN just today by an anonymous guy for his book 'Hacking Sex' [1]. I actually went ahead and checked it out, since it had a lot of positive c

by boyaka 12y ago

There was a post on HN just today by an anonymous guy for his book 'Hacking Sex' [1]. I actually went ahead and checked it out, since it had a lot of positive comments from women on Amazon. I was intrigued that the author stated that luck with women has nothing to do with genetics, but my surprise/interest diminished when I skipped through the pages and found all sorts of sections on buying clothes and being in good shape. I was really turned off when he gave advice about actually making love, really starting to think this guy is full of himself. I'm a little bit disgusted by his attitude about needing to have sex with as many women as possible, but I also understand how it could be beneficial. I'm sure that his advice does indeed vibe with what women desire, and it would probably do me some good to be open to it (when I have the time/money to do so). More on my opinion and less on this book (which as I said I have only skimmed for now so can't really judge), I believe in the LAMPS theory: girls tend to be interested in Looks, Athleticism, Money, Power, and Status. I think you can gain a lot of the last 3 just by working hard on improving your own life. That book says you can be yourself and that girls will like you even more for that, but maybe that's just signaling Power/Status, or maybe LAMPS is just not a good theory. Ultimately though, in today's society you really just need to look good/healthy, have a fulfilling well paid occupation, and give the ladies (or other people) exactly what THEY want; you can't be selfish. It's not about YOU becoming less lonely, it's about being interesting to other people. [1] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=9005096 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=9005096

EpicEng 12y ago
"my surprise/interest diminished when I skipped through the pages and found all sorts of sections on buying clothes and being in good shape." Well, it does matter, as much as some people like to think it doesn't or shouldn't. It's certainly not everything, not even by half, but people like attractive people. It gets you through the door so to speak. That, in turn, gives you more opportunities to meet people. If you have a crap personality most women won't stay long anyway, but if you're overweight and dress like a kid in high school then don't be surprised that women aren't falling over themselves to talk to you (and no, that doesn't make them superficial; it's how the vast majority of us are wired, and how you present yourself says something about you).
- boyaka 12y ago
  Yeah, and as I say it didn't surprise me that any of that mattered. I've always known what I have to do (have more money for clothes/fashion, spend time at the gym). I think I have a pretty interesting personality, I do make friends with a lot of people once they get to know me. I just have trouble even saying a single word to females I find attractive. But I've got bigger problems in my life to solve. Here's the quote from the author's website that intrigued me: "A five-point guide on how to be more attractive (Hint: your genetics don’t matter)" I thought he might go into more of a strategy about how to open up and talk with women (again, I haven't really read it yet), since it's not looks that matter. But it turned out, as you and I both understand, appearance really does matter, and therefore genetics DO matter, because they are a huge factor in your appearance and even in how healthy you can appear.

by boyaka 12y ago

EpicEng 12y ago

"my surprise/interest diminished when I skipped through the pages and found all sorts of sections on buying clothes and being in good shape." Well, it does matter, as much as some people like to think it doesn't or shouldn't. It's certainly not everything, not even by half, but people like attractive people. It gets you through the door so to speak. That, in turn, gives you more opportunities to meet people. If you have a crap personality most women won't stay long anyway, but if you're overweight and dress like a kid in high school then don't be surprised that women aren't falling over themselves to talk to you (and no, that doesn't make them superficial; it's how the vast majority of us are wired, and how you present yourself says something about you).

boyaka 12y ago
Yeah, and as I say it didn't surprise me that any of that mattered. I've always known what I have to do (have more money for clothes/fashion, spend time at the gym). I think I have a pretty interesting personality, I do make friends with a lot of people once they get to know me. I just have trouble even saying a single word to females I find attractive. But I've got bigger problems in my life to solve. Here's the quote from the author's website that intrigued me: "A five-point guide on how to be more attractive (Hint: your genetics don’t matter)" I thought he might go into more of a strategy about how to open up and talk with women (again, I haven't really read it yet), since it's not looks that matter. But it turned out, as you and I both understand, appearance really does matter, and therefore genetics DO matter, because they are a huge factor in your appearance and even in how healthy you can appear.