6 ms·

"he decided to do something that many parents would consider radical: show them exactly what he earned." Huh? Really? That's radical? I always knew how much my

by nsxwolf 12y ago

"he decided to do something that many parents would consider radical: show them exactly what he earned." Huh? Really? That's radical? I always knew how much my mom made. Do parents really keep this from their children, the same way they keep it from other coworkers?

emodendroket 12y ago
It's radical among the kind of parents who make 10 grand a month (which happens to be the same set that these NYT culture articles are always about).
- smeyer 12y ago
  Do you have data for this? I don't, but anecdotally, I grew up with parents with around this income who openly discussed wages. While they might be outliers (both economists), many of my friends who grew up with similar family incomes have also mentioned their families discussing salary.
  - saryant 12y ago
    That's how my parents were. When I was 18 or so my father walked me through his income and all his retirement accounts, wills, life insurance policies, etc. He wanted me to understand at least the basics of his finances in case anything happened to himself and my mother. I knew where all the paperwork was kept in the house and had access to the safety deposit box where he kept copies.
  - deleted 12y ago
    [deleted]
  - emodendroket 12y ago
    I have my own anecdotes, but no, I don't have data.
wldcordeiro 12y ago
I grew up in the same situation. My mom always let me know and gave me a lot of details on the status of our family. In fact once I got older she started having me manage a lot of her online accounts and such because she had trouble with it. Now she's got my younger siblings doing it.
nilkn 12y ago
I also am surprised to find that this is considered radical. This has never been a sensitive topic in my family. I know my parents' salaries and I know what they've got saved for retirement. I even know what some of my other family members make (cousins, uncles, etc.) because they're open about it.
loganfrederick 12y ago
I know quite a few Midwestern families that are like this. I think it's considered "adult topics" not suitable for children for various reasons.
- maxerickson 12y ago
  A big one is that they don't want the neighbors to know.
- poor_too_ 12y ago
  Oh really? That may explain my family's situation. There were many "adult topics" which I was excluded from (to include death, sickness and funerals). My family originally was from the midwest and later relocated to the east coast.
peter_l_downs 12y ago
Another anecdotal data point: My parents have always been open about their finances with me and my siblings, but my father says that's largely because his father (my grandfather) would never discuss money with the family. Money can cause a lot of stress, so I can see how you would want to avoid discussing it with your kids.
meej 12y ago
Yes. I didn't find out my father's income until it was time for me to fill out my first FAFSA.
fletchowns 12y ago
I never knew how much my parents made when I was growing up. All I knew was that they worked hard, there was always food on the table, and we got to go on cool vacations once in awhile. I think that's really all you need to know at a young age. Doing chores, mowing lawns, etc, is a good way to learn the value of a dollar at a young age. At 14 I started working a real job and opened a checking account, seems like a perfect age to be learning about how to manage your own finances.
- Terr_ 12y ago
  Usually when people say kids must "learn the value of a dollar", they imply kids underestimate how important that dollar is... but to me it feels like the reverse. Kid-me would have been absolutely shocked at how many potential candy-bars/toys/etc. are being spent on adult things like rent or gas or insurance.
  - sliverstorm 12y ago
    It goes both ways. At first money is meaningless, completely free. Then as you learn its value, it is incredibly valuable to you. Five whole dollars! Wow!
- cortesoft 12y ago
  Why not younger, though? My parents included me in budgeting decisions much earlier, helping me create my own budget at around 6 or 7 (with my weekly $3 allowance), and showing me their thought process when they made decisions about how to spend money. I think starting talk about budgeting and managing money needs to happen at the same time as kids learning about how money works. I never had a time that I knew about money but didn't know about budgeting; they went hand in hand. Because of this, I have never had any of the standard financial issues a lot of my peers had (never ran up credit card debt, always lived within my means, saved for retirement from my first job, etc). I guess my question is more "Why NOT share this important life information with your kids early on? What is the point of keeping it from them?"
brandonmenc 12y ago
My dad never even told my mom how much he made, exactly - and she worked full-time too! His logic was that if we (kids, mom) knew how much was in the bank, we'd always be saying, "Why can't we have that? We have the money!" All we knew was that we were living within our means, that mom and dad made enough - but that more was always better - and that the family budget was always made to fit inside my mom's (lower) salary, just in case. Worked out well. We knew better than to bug him for stuff. He ended up socking a bunch away. And, we still managed to learn about the value of money when we got our own jobs - as kids. All without knowing exactly how much my parents made.
aaron695 12y ago
I think this is radical for bad parents. It's not normal to think this is radical. Although I do understand if money is really tight, then you might not want to worry the kids. As in real poor, not, I bought a 4 bedroom house with a huge tv and boat and now I'm worried about being laid off self induced poor, but struggling poor.

by nsxwolf 12y ago

emodendroket 12y ago

It's radical among the kind of parents who make 10 grand a month (which happens to be the same set that these NYT culture articles are always about).

smeyer 12y ago
Do you have data for this? I don't, but anecdotally, I grew up with parents with around this income who openly discussed wages. While they might be outliers (both economists), many of my friends who grew up with similar family incomes have also mentioned their families discussing salary.
- saryant 12y ago
  That's how my parents were. When I was 18 or so my father walked me through his income and all his retirement accounts, wills, life insurance policies, etc. He wanted me to understand at least the basics of his finances in case anything happened to himself and my mother. I knew where all the paperwork was kept in the house and had access to the safety deposit box where he kept copies.
- deleted 12y ago
  [deleted]
- emodendroket 12y ago
  I have my own anecdotes, but no, I don't have data.

wldcordeiro 12y ago

I grew up in the same situation. My mom always let me know and gave me a lot of details on the status of our family. In fact once I got older she started having me manage a lot of her online accounts and such because she had trouble with it. Now she's got my younger siblings doing it.

nilkn 12y ago

I also am surprised to find that this is considered radical. This has never been a sensitive topic in my family. I know my parents' salaries and I know what they've got saved for retirement. I even know what some of my other family members make (cousins, uncles, etc.) because they're open about it.

loganfrederick 12y ago

I know quite a few Midwestern families that are like this. I think it's considered "adult topics" not suitable for children for various reasons.

maxerickson 12y ago
A big one is that they don't want the neighbors to know.
poor_too_ 12y ago
Oh really? That may explain my family's situation. There were many "adult topics" which I was excluded from (to include death, sickness and funerals). My family originally was from the midwest and later relocated to the east coast.

peter_l_downs 12y ago

Another anecdotal data point: My parents have always been open about their finances with me and my siblings, but my father says that's largely because his father (my grandfather) would never discuss money with the family. Money can cause a lot of stress, so I can see how you would want to avoid discussing it with your kids.

meej 12y ago

Yes. I didn't find out my father's income until it was time for me to fill out my first FAFSA.

fletchowns 12y ago

I never knew how much my parents made when I was growing up. All I knew was that they worked hard, there was always food on the table, and we got to go on cool vacations once in awhile. I think that's really all you need to know at a young age. Doing chores, mowing lawns, etc, is a good way to learn the value of a dollar at a young age. At 14 I started working a real job and opened a checking account, seems like a perfect age to be learning about how to manage your own finances.

Terr_ 12y ago
Usually when people say kids must "learn the value of a dollar", they imply kids underestimate how important that dollar is... but to me it feels like the reverse. Kid-me would have been absolutely shocked at how many potential candy-bars/toys/etc. are being spent on adult things like rent or gas or insurance.
- sliverstorm 12y ago
  It goes both ways. At first money is meaningless, completely free. Then as you learn its value, it is incredibly valuable to you. Five whole dollars! Wow!
cortesoft 12y ago
Why not younger, though? My parents included me in budgeting decisions much earlier, helping me create my own budget at around 6 or 7 (with my weekly $3 allowance), and showing me their thought process when they made decisions about how to spend money. I think starting talk about budgeting and managing money needs to happen at the same time as kids learning about how money works. I never had a time that I knew about money but didn't know about budgeting; they went hand in hand. Because of this, I have never had any of the standard financial issues a lot of my peers had (never ran up credit card debt, always lived within my means, saved for retirement from my first job, etc). I guess my question is more "Why NOT share this important life information with your kids early on? What is the point of keeping it from them?"

brandonmenc 12y ago

My dad never even told my mom how much he made, exactly - and she worked full-time too! His logic was that if we (kids, mom) knew how much was in the bank, we'd always be saying, "Why can't we have that? We have the money!" All we knew was that we were living within our means, that mom and dad made enough - but that more was always better - and that the family budget was always made to fit inside my mom's (lower) salary, just in case. Worked out well. We knew better than to bug him for stuff. He ended up socking a bunch away. And, we still managed to learn about the value of money when we got our own jobs - as kids. All without knowing exactly how much my parents made.

aaron695 12y ago

I think this is radical for bad parents. It's not normal to think this is radical. Although I do understand if money is really tight, then you might not want to worry the kids. As in real poor, not, I bought a 4 bedroom house with a huge tv and boat and now I'm worried about being laid off self induced poor, but struggling poor.