Although successful networkers must be calculating, ruthless and shameless, they do better when they somehow make it all seem spontaneous, accidental even A co

Although successful networkers must be calculating, ruthless and shameless, they do better when they somehow make it all seem spontaneous, accidental even A couple of years back I was working with a guy who had grown a consulting shop into 70-80 folks. I was helping with sales into an existing client. The deal was I'd help do the sell and then I'd pick up a few months of work to add to my runway for my startup. We needed another consultant, so the main office sent us some candidates. The guy I was working with immediately picks the one with the most connections, even though his skills weren't a good match. When I mentioned this, he said "Yeah, but it's not important whether his skills match. We need his network." If you're looking to grow a business, it's all about finding people with good networks and mining their contacts. This guy continues to do very well in the business, and now he has a huge network, but there's always that slight feel of inauthenticity about him. It's nothing that anybody would point out, and it doesn't prevent him generating business. It's just there. Contrast this to me. I follow and try to be friends with people because, well, I like them. I like what they're doing and I want to hear more about what's happening in their lives. My network is not very huge, but my goal is to get to know folks and have them get to know me, so it can never be that huge. I'm not saying my way is right and this other guy's is wrong, but I am much happier doing it my way than if I did things the way this other guy did. The minute I start feeling like I'm conniving? I'm doing something wrong.