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I actually feel the same way about kids "acting out" in public. The difference is, if the guardians are attempting to control the situation. If they are, then

I actually feel the same way about kids "acting out" in public. The difference is, if the guardians are attempting to control the situation. If they are, then I am much more tolerant to the disruption. If not, well to be honest, I'm not sure if I'm more upset with the child or the parent at this point.

ssharp 12y ago
Once I had children, my breaking point for getting annoyed with other people's children skyrocketed. Now, I mostly feel bad for the parent. You're right in that you can usually tell by the parents reaction the type of person they are. My emotions adjust accordingly to that, but I do still hear from people how annoyed they are when a child acts out, regardless of the parents reaction. You still need to do stuff in life and with children, doing stuff becomes substantially harder. I'd bet a lot of parents with kids who act out don't want to go to the store with them, but simply have to because they don't have better options.
bryanlarsen 12y ago
The problem is that misbehaviour is often attention-seeking. You then have three choices. 1 - give in and give them candy or whatever it is they're screaming for. Shuts them up for the moment, but makes the problem much more likely to recur elsewhere. 2 - ignore them, or rather, pretend that they're not screaming. This is best in the long term, but obviously sucks for the short term. The worst is the sanctimonious looks you get from everybody because you're letting your children scream it out. 3 - punish them. This is just a variation on #1. They wanted attention, and now you're giving it to them. The difference is that it's much less likely to actually stop the screaming. Of course, the worst of both worlds is starting out with #2 and then giving in to the sanctimonious looks and the screaming and doing #1 or #3. While applying 1, 2, or 3 you should also work to find and ameliorate the root cause. Are they tired, hungry, bored or over-stimulated? The last two are particularly hard to tell apart. For instance in an airport it could be either (or both!) -- they're bored because they haven't been able to do anything "fun" but over-stimulated because they're shoved into an overwhelming new environment. That's why shoving a tablet in their face is so effective -- it gives them something to do while simultaneously shutting out the outside world. edit: I'm talking about preschool kids.

ssharp 12y ago

Once I had children, my breaking point for getting annoyed with other people's children skyrocketed. Now, I mostly feel bad for the parent. You're right in that you can usually tell by the parents reaction the type of person they are. My emotions adjust accordingly to that, but I do still hear from people how annoyed they are when a child acts out, regardless of the parents reaction. You still need to do stuff in life and with children, doing stuff becomes substantially harder. I'd bet a lot of parents with kids who act out don't want to go to the store with them, but simply have to because they don't have better options.

bryanlarsen 12y ago

The problem is that misbehaviour is often attention-seeking. You then have three choices. 1 - give in and give them candy or whatever it is they're screaming for. Shuts them up for the moment, but makes the problem much more likely to recur elsewhere. 2 - ignore them, or rather, pretend that they're not screaming. This is best in the long term, but obviously sucks for the short term. The worst is the sanctimonious looks you get from everybody because you're letting your children scream it out. 3 - punish them. This is just a variation on #1. They wanted attention, and now you're giving it to them. The difference is that it's much less likely to actually stop the screaming. Of course, the worst of both worlds is starting out with #2 and then giving in to the sanctimonious looks and the screaming and doing #1 or #3. While applying 1, 2, or 3 you should also work to find and ameliorate the root cause. Are they tired, hungry, bored or over-stimulated? The last two are particularly hard to tell apart. For instance in an airport it could be either (or both!) -- they're bored because they haven't been able to do anything "fun" but over-stimulated because they're shoved into an overwhelming new environment. That's why shoving a tablet in their face is so effective -- it gives them something to do while simultaneously shutting out the outside world. edit: I'm talking about preschool kids.