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You assume isolated hours are equivalent to long stretches of time. If I told my wife she wouldn't see me for an hour a day, she wouldn't bat an eye. But if I t

You assume isolated hours are equivalent to long stretches of time. If I told my wife she wouldn't see me for an hour a day, she wouldn't bat an eye. But if I told her I had to leave her for a week, she'd miss the hell out of me. An hour isn't long enough to miss anyone. Furthermore, you have less choice over your co-workers than you think. One interview is not enough time to know whether you can be friends with someone. Especially at a huge corporation, where hundreds of people may work, and constantly move departments. And unless you're the hiring manager, you have no control who will be hired after you.

morgante 12y ago
> If I told my wife she wouldn't see me for an hour a day, she wouldn't bat an eye. But if I told her I had to leave her for a week, she'd miss the hell out of me. I suppose as an unmarried young man I don't really understand that. It does seem like not being able to be apart for a week is a bit of a dependency issue. Funnily enough, I'm also a hiring manager at a small startup—so I guess I do have more control over my coworkers than most people.
- normloman 12y ago
  It's not that we can't be apart for a week. If I had to leave for my job, she would understand. But it would be difficult. When you live with someone, and see them every day, you notice their absence more. Did you go to college? Or did you ever go away to camp? Didn't your parents miss you the first week you were away? Maybe you can relate to that better. Also, If you're a hiring manager, you shouldn't be hiring people you'd like to work with. You should be hiring the best person for the job. Do you ever think you're passing on great talent because they aren't the sort of person you'd have a beer with?
  - morgante 12y ago
    > Did you go to college? Or did you ever go away to camp? Didn't your parents miss you the first week you were away? Maybe you can relate to that better. Probably, but it was never a significant enough thing that it ever factored into our decisions. Then again, I'm someone who chose to attend boarding school and university halfway across the world. > Also, If you're a hiring manager, you shouldn't be hiring people you'd like to work with. You should be hiring the best person for the job Considering that I like to work with intelligent, kind, and motivated people I consider those mostly synonymous. > Do you ever think you're passing on great talent because they aren't the sort of person you'd have a beer with? Nope. Whether I'd have a beer with them isn't my test. Plenty of my favorite colleagues definitely aren't my drinking buddies. Rather, I ask myself if I'd like working with them on a daily basis and whether their presence would positively contribute to the office environment. If I suspect they'd be a negative influence, I don't see any reason to hire them—even i they're a brilliant coder. Fortunately, that's rarely a choice. Most of the great developers I know are also fundamentally kind and humble people.
    - normloman 12y ago
      I think we can all agree that hiring intelligent, kind people, and motivated people is the right thing to do. I'm asking a different question. Would you pass on a great developer because they don't have anything in common with you? Would you pass on someone because they had an annoying quirk that bothered you? Would you pass on someone because they seemed boring, despite being a great developer? Being a good hiring manager, you probably don't. But it also makes for the kind of team that you wouldn't want to hang out with after work. You say that plenty of your favorite colleagues definitely are not your drinking buddies. Can I presume that you also wouldn't want to go on long trips with them?

morgante 12y ago

> If I told my wife she wouldn't see me for an hour a day, she wouldn't bat an eye. But if I told her I had to leave her for a week, she'd miss the hell out of me. I suppose as an unmarried young man I don't really understand that. It does seem like not being able to be apart for a week is a bit of a dependency issue. Funnily enough, I'm also a hiring manager at a small startup—so I guess I do have more control over my coworkers than most people.

normloman 12y ago
It's not that we can't be apart for a week. If I had to leave for my job, she would understand. But it would be difficult. When you live with someone, and see them every day, you notice their absence more. Did you go to college? Or did you ever go away to camp? Didn't your parents miss you the first week you were away? Maybe you can relate to that better. Also, If you're a hiring manager, you shouldn't be hiring people you'd like to work with. You should be hiring the best person for the job. Do you ever think you're passing on great talent because they aren't the sort of person you'd have a beer with?
- morgante 12y ago
  > Did you go to college? Or did you ever go away to camp? Didn't your parents miss you the first week you were away? Maybe you can relate to that better. Probably, but it was never a significant enough thing that it ever factored into our decisions. Then again, I'm someone who chose to attend boarding school and university halfway across the world. > Also, If you're a hiring manager, you shouldn't be hiring people you'd like to work with. You should be hiring the best person for the job Considering that I like to work with intelligent, kind, and motivated people I consider those mostly synonymous. > Do you ever think you're passing on great talent because they aren't the sort of person you'd have a beer with? Nope. Whether I'd have a beer with them isn't my test. Plenty of my favorite colleagues definitely aren't my drinking buddies. Rather, I ask myself if I'd like working with them on a daily basis and whether their presence would positively contribute to the office environment. If I suspect they'd be a negative influence, I don't see any reason to hire them—even i they're a brilliant coder. Fortunately, that's rarely a choice. Most of the great developers I know are also fundamentally kind and humble people.
  - normloman 12y ago
    I think we can all agree that hiring intelligent, kind people, and motivated people is the right thing to do. I'm asking a different question. Would you pass on a great developer because they don't have anything in common with you? Would you pass on someone because they had an annoying quirk that bothered you? Would you pass on someone because they seemed boring, despite being a great developer? Being a good hiring manager, you probably don't. But it also makes for the kind of team that you wouldn't want to hang out with after work. You say that plenty of your favorite colleagues definitely are not your drinking buddies. Can I presume that you also wouldn't want to go on long trips with them?