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My problem with a company vacation: The people I work with are not my friends. I despise most of them. This is true for every place I've worked. It's probably

My problem with a company vacation: The people I work with are not my friends. I despise most of them. This is true for every place I've worked. It's probably true for most people here. You don't chose your co-workers. And now you're forcing me to take my vacation with these people, who I put up with every day at work. You may be puzzled reading this. "But my company is like a family." Some companies are really like this; everyone's your friend. But if every company was like this, we wouldn't have shows like "The Office." It's also hard to expect everyone to go on a vacation. What if your kid has to go to school? What if your spouse has a job, and has to stay home. Can you ask people to leave their family behind for a week so they can bond with their co-workers? Then you might say "fine, just make the vacation optional." You won't be fired for not going, but when it's time for performance reviews, who's gonna have "not a team player" on their report? The one person who didn't attend. But you make a point. We're people. We need contact. My solution? Work at a co-working space a few times a week. Work out of a library or cafe every so often. And get everyone on your team to use video conferencing. And if your team lives in a close vicinity, it's totally reasonable to schedule some day trips.

odonnellryan 12y ago
I don't think that is healthy at all. Let's say you have a favorite person that you really enjoy being with all the time, at most you'll probably manage to get 50 hrs a week in with them. Way less if you do any of the following (and more) alone: exercise, study, side projects, home renovations, reading, movies, etc.. Most people spend at least 30 hours a week with their coworkers. 3/5 ratio is insane for people you hate! How do you think that shapes your attitude, personality, etc.. and how does that impact your happiness? My company is absolutely not like a family, it is very much so work. But, if I hated everyone, or even most of them, it wouldn't work out! Company vacations (or whatever you want to call them) are silly (IMO) if you're already seeing those people 30+ hours a week. I don't think it is very silly if you're seeing them < 8 hrs a week.
- normloman 12y ago
  You're not picking up on my hyperbole. I don't actively hate everyone around me. I'm saying there's no guarantee the people I work with are gonna be the same people I'd hag out with outside of work. I feel I have to say this, because I notice so many articles and comments on HN consisting of founders calling their start-up a family and stressing culture fit. This is a bad idea for a host of reasons. In most workplaces, you aren't obligated to like your coworkers. Just to tolerate them, and work as a team. Making me go away with them for a week doesn't sound like a "vacation." It sounds like a ton of work. It seems you agree with me on that point, but reckon it's ok for remote workers. That's where we disagree. I don't take jobs that require me to travel, and that wouldn't change for remote work. I should point out that even if you tolerate most of your coworkers, there's probably one you really hate. Maybe they have an annoying laugh, microwave fish in the break room, and constantly make bad jokes. Imagine taking a vacation with that person! But hey, part of life is learning to work with people who are different than you. I hope we don't lose that as people shift into remote working situations.
coob 12y ago
> I despise most of them Doesn't sound like the problem is with your colleagues.
- normloman 12y ago
  I was expecting someone to make that comment. I admit, I'm very selective about people who I consider my friend. But the notion that co-workers can be annoying is universally accepted. Otherwise, The Office, Office Space, Dilbert, and the like would not exist. Obviously they exaggerate: most people don't absolutely loathe the people they work with. But how many of your co-workers do you really want to vacation with? I bet most people would say "a few."
morgante 12y ago
> You don't chose your co-workers. This is where you're going wrong. Personally, who I will be working with is one of the biggest factors in deciding where to work. A great team can make a tough job fun and a terrible team can make a great job unbearable. > Can you ask people to leave their family behind for a week so they can bond with their co-workers? Honestly, I think if you're a 100% remote company that's a totally reasonable demand. Even just counting commute time of 1 hour a day, that's already 250 hours of additional family time that's been returned to you—more than enough to make up for a single week of "working" non-stop.
- normloman 12y ago
  You assume isolated hours are equivalent to long stretches of time. If I told my wife she wouldn't see me for an hour a day, she wouldn't bat an eye. But if I told her I had to leave her for a week, she'd miss the hell out of me. An hour isn't long enough to miss anyone. Furthermore, you have less choice over your co-workers than you think. One interview is not enough time to know whether you can be friends with someone. Especially at a huge corporation, where hundreds of people may work, and constantly move departments. And unless you're the hiring manager, you have no control who will be hired after you.
  - morgante 12y ago
    > If I told my wife she wouldn't see me for an hour a day, she wouldn't bat an eye. But if I told her I had to leave her for a week, she'd miss the hell out of me. I suppose as an unmarried young man I don't really understand that. It does seem like not being able to be apart for a week is a bit of a dependency issue. Funnily enough, I'm also a hiring manager at a small startup—so I guess I do have more control over my coworkers than most people.
    - normloman 12y ago
      It's not that we can't be apart for a week. If I had to leave for my job, she would understand. But it would be difficult. When you live with someone, and see them every day, you notice their absence more. Did you go to college? Or did you ever go away to camp? Didn't your parents miss you the first week you were away? Maybe you can relate to that better. Also, If you're a hiring manager, you shouldn't be hiring people you'd like to work with. You should be hiring the best person for the job. Do you ever think you're passing on great talent because they aren't the sort of person you'd have a beer with?
jacalata 12y ago
> You don't chose your co-workers. And now you're forcing me to take my vacation with these people, who I put up with every day at work. It's not a vacation. Think of it as a company-specific conference. Yes, you can ask people to leave their family behind for a week (or pay for them to join you) if you tell them when offering the job.

odonnellryan 12y ago

I don't think that is healthy at all. Let's say you have a favorite person that you really enjoy being with all the time, at most you'll probably manage to get 50 hrs a week in with them. Way less if you do any of the following (and more) alone: exercise, study, side projects, home renovations, reading, movies, etc.. Most people spend at least 30 hours a week with their coworkers. 3/5 ratio is insane for people you hate! How do you think that shapes your attitude, personality, etc.. and how does that impact your happiness? My company is absolutely not like a family, it is very much so work. But, if I hated everyone, or even most of them, it wouldn't work out! Company vacations (or whatever you want to call them) are silly (IMO) if you're already seeing those people 30+ hours a week. I don't think it is very silly if you're seeing them < 8 hrs a week.

normloman 12y ago
You're not picking up on my hyperbole. I don't actively hate everyone around me. I'm saying there's no guarantee the people I work with are gonna be the same people I'd hag out with outside of work. I feel I have to say this, because I notice so many articles and comments on HN consisting of founders calling their start-up a family and stressing culture fit. This is a bad idea for a host of reasons. In most workplaces, you aren't obligated to like your coworkers. Just to tolerate them, and work as a team. Making me go away with them for a week doesn't sound like a "vacation." It sounds like a ton of work. It seems you agree with me on that point, but reckon it's ok for remote workers. That's where we disagree. I don't take jobs that require me to travel, and that wouldn't change for remote work. I should point out that even if you tolerate most of your coworkers, there's probably one you really hate. Maybe they have an annoying laugh, microwave fish in the break room, and constantly make bad jokes. Imagine taking a vacation with that person! But hey, part of life is learning to work with people who are different than you. I hope we don't lose that as people shift into remote working situations.

coob 12y ago

> I despise most of them Doesn't sound like the problem is with your colleagues.

normloman 12y ago
I was expecting someone to make that comment. I admit, I'm very selective about people who I consider my friend. But the notion that co-workers can be annoying is universally accepted. Otherwise, The Office, Office Space, Dilbert, and the like would not exist. Obviously they exaggerate: most people don't absolutely loathe the people they work with. But how many of your co-workers do you really want to vacation with? I bet most people would say "a few."

morgante 12y ago

> You don't chose your co-workers. This is where you're going wrong. Personally, who I will be working with is one of the biggest factors in deciding where to work. A great team can make a tough job fun and a terrible team can make a great job unbearable. > Can you ask people to leave their family behind for a week so they can bond with their co-workers? Honestly, I think if you're a 100% remote company that's a totally reasonable demand. Even just counting commute time of 1 hour a day, that's already 250 hours of additional family time that's been returned to you—more than enough to make up for a single week of "working" non-stop.

normloman 12y ago
You assume isolated hours are equivalent to long stretches of time. If I told my wife she wouldn't see me for an hour a day, she wouldn't bat an eye. But if I told her I had to leave her for a week, she'd miss the hell out of me. An hour isn't long enough to miss anyone. Furthermore, you have less choice over your co-workers than you think. One interview is not enough time to know whether you can be friends with someone. Especially at a huge corporation, where hundreds of people may work, and constantly move departments. And unless you're the hiring manager, you have no control who will be hired after you.
- morgante 12y ago
  > If I told my wife she wouldn't see me for an hour a day, she wouldn't bat an eye. But if I told her I had to leave her for a week, she'd miss the hell out of me. I suppose as an unmarried young man I don't really understand that. It does seem like not being able to be apart for a week is a bit of a dependency issue. Funnily enough, I'm also a hiring manager at a small startup—so I guess I do have more control over my coworkers than most people.
  - normloman 12y ago
    It's not that we can't be apart for a week. If I had to leave for my job, she would understand. But it would be difficult. When you live with someone, and see them every day, you notice their absence more. Did you go to college? Or did you ever go away to camp? Didn't your parents miss you the first week you were away? Maybe you can relate to that better. Also, If you're a hiring manager, you shouldn't be hiring people you'd like to work with. You should be hiring the best person for the job. Do you ever think you're passing on great talent because they aren't the sort of person you'd have a beer with?

jacalata 12y ago

> You don't chose your co-workers. And now you're forcing me to take my vacation with these people, who I put up with every day at work. It's not a vacation. Think of it as a company-specific conference. Yes, you can ask people to leave their family behind for a week (or pay for them to join you) if you tell them when offering the job.