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I'm imagining how I would look/act and how my date would look/act upon seeing that question. I think the use of that question is not in communicating the inform

by delish 12y ago

I'm imagining how I would look/act and how my date would look/act upon seeing that question. I think the use of that question is not in communicating the information of the most terrible memory, but rather in seeing your partner feel sad, then empathizing with him/her. This helps create a climate of intimacy and trust, regardless of the answer to the question. Overall, I enjoyed reading the questions and I plan to do this.

ada1981 12y ago
Delish! Awesome. Do you think you would use the app? Or prefer to just have a list of questions? Would love to get your feedback for some press inquiries we are getting!
- delish 12y ago
  I much prefer the app because me and my partner can't look at anything save the question and each other. Time, space and relationship: There's only the present question and the present partner. I read the questions on your app without having read the list of questions on NYT or github. When I read those questions (by myself), I was filled with anticipation and not fear or apprehension. I think this is because your app and these questions pre-structure disclosure in an environment of symmetric experience. This is really important and I could talk more about this. You can feel free to email me at zlrthn mouse geemail (replace mouse with @ and fix geemail). I haven't gone through the app with a potential partner but I'll let you know when I do. Thank you for doing this. Made my day.
  - ada1981 12y ago
    Great feedback. I'd love to talk with you more about this when the neurotransmitters are replenished in my brain after some sleep. :)
DanBC 12y ago
"My most terrible memory is the repeated rapes my father subjected me to from the age of 9 to 13" It's weird that you think a first date is a suitable date to go poking around in stuff like that or that a first date could possibly do any meaningful empathising.
- proveanegative 12y ago
  I understand the design of this question (edit: an perhaps the whole exercise) as making a tradeoff between providing an opportunity for two average persons to bond strongly and being appropriate for everybody in favor of the former. The average person's most terrible memory, I would wager, is something easier to share in a way that encourages intimacy, namely losing loved ones, injury and personal failure.

by delish 12y ago

ada1981 12y ago

Delish! Awesome. Do you think you would use the app? Or prefer to just have a list of questions? Would love to get your feedback for some press inquiries we are getting!

delish 12y ago
I much prefer the app because me and my partner can't look at anything save the question and each other. Time, space and relationship: There's only the present question and the present partner. I read the questions on your app without having read the list of questions on NYT or github. When I read those questions (by myself), I was filled with anticipation and not fear or apprehension. I think this is because your app and these questions pre-structure disclosure in an environment of symmetric experience. This is really important and I could talk more about this. You can feel free to email me at zlrthn mouse geemail (replace mouse with @ and fix geemail). I haven't gone through the app with a potential partner but I'll let you know when I do. Thank you for doing this. Made my day.
- ada1981 12y ago
  Great feedback. I'd love to talk with you more about this when the neurotransmitters are replenished in my brain after some sleep. :)

DanBC 12y ago

"My most terrible memory is the repeated rapes my father subjected me to from the age of 9 to 13" It's weird that you think a first date is a suitable date to go poking around in stuff like that or that a first date could possibly do any meaningful empathising.

proveanegative 12y ago
I understand the design of this question (edit: an perhaps the whole exercise) as making a tradeoff between providing an opportunity for two average persons to bond strongly and being appropriate for everybody in favor of the former. The average person's most terrible memory, I would wager, is something easier to share in a way that encourages intimacy, namely losing loved ones, injury and personal failure.