If those first 30 seconds don't involve the candidate saying "I can't believe you bought those lies on my resume", or "Do I smell ok? I made sure to shower this

If those first 30 seconds don't involve the candidate saying "I can't believe you bought those lies on my resume", or "Do I smell ok? I made sure to shower this month", your hiring process isn't actually good if you can prejudge it in 30 seconds.