This is very true, however many people also achieve understanding and closure through details. It allows them to absorb what at first blush seems incomprehensi

This is very true, however many people also achieve understanding and closure through details. It allows them to absorb what at first blush seems incomprehensible. Is there something they could have done, should they have known if he was ill, etc. We want to understand how this could have happened. You're right, it doesn't define the person though, but it helps frame the reality of the shock.