4 ms·

anyone blaming the cost of divorce and child support as a reason not to get married probably aren't that great to be married to

colordrops 12y ago
With the inability of anyone to accurately predict the future, the 50% lifetime divorce rate in the US, and the hugely unfair consequences of divorce, your judgement of the OP is unwarranted.
- intopieces 12y ago
  The divorce rate is not 50%. We don't know the divorce rate, because we haven't been keeping track. http://qz.com/306166/the-divorce-stat-that-just-keeps-cheating-50/ http://qz.com/306166/the-divorce-stat-that-just-keeps-cheati...
  - baddox 12y ago
    It seems you should have omitted the first sentence.
- usaar333 12y ago
  For the cohort of HN readers, it is nowhere near that high. See http://www.bls.gov/opub/mlr/2013/article/pdf/marriage-and-divorce-patterns-by-gender-race-and-educational-attainment.pdf http://www.bls.gov/opub/mlr/2013/article/pdf/marriage-and-di... Among folks with college degrees, divorce rate is 31% for those marrying between 23 and 28 and 23% for those marrying between 29 and 34. Those with a masters degree, divorce at ~22%. Even ignoring education and marriage age, only 26% of those who have kids while married (not before married) get divorced: http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr049.pdf http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr049.pdf
  - waterlesscloud 12y ago
    1 in 4 chance is still a pretty huge risk considering the consequences.
  - prostoalex 12y ago
    Also, the rate counts marriages not people, so serial offenders like this guy http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glynn_Wolfe http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glynn_Wolfe skew the average and require 28 marriages that don't end up in divorce just to even out.
  - tomp 12y ago
    It's not the current rate that is important, it's the trend. People marrying today will be getting divorced in 10-20 years; by then, the divorce rate could well be way more than 50%.
- therobot24 12y ago
  > inability of anyone to accurately predict the future sarcastic response: "sorry hun, we can't get married cause i'm not sure we'll be together forever and i don't want to pay money if we break up." real response: There's risk in everything you do, and if you aren't willing to risk some of your time and equity into another person then you wouldn't do well in a marriage anyway
  - colordrops 12y ago
    Most risks that people take, especially with risks of such high probability, don't involve another person visciously working to make your life miserable in and out of a court of law. Romance and taking a leap of faith and all that are just very recent fictions, especially in Asia. Marriage has been a utilitarian tradition since it began. There are lucky people with wonderful loving marriages, but it's completely unrealistic to expect everyone to seek this out at extreme long term risk to livelihood and happiness.
fosk 12y ago
Not to sound insensitive, but here's another way to look at it. At the end of day marriage is like a contract between to persons with expensive "cancellation fees" that you need to consider, exactly like it happens when you sign any other contract during your life. It is very shortsighted to sign a contract without considering every aspect of it, even more considering there is a good chance that things can go wrong. You can still love a person and have a child and give your contributions as a parent without signing a contract, like many people actually do.
andreasvc 12y ago
Taking into account the risks of an enterprise is laudable.
- sliverstorm 12y ago
  ... and anyone that passionately objects to doing so probably aren't that great to be married to? :)

colordrops 12y ago

With the inability of anyone to accurately predict the future, the 50% lifetime divorce rate in the US, and the hugely unfair consequences of divorce, your judgement of the OP is unwarranted.

intopieces 12y ago
The divorce rate is not 50%. We don't know the divorce rate, because we haven't been keeping track. http://qz.com/306166/the-divorce-stat-that-just-keeps-cheating-50/ http://qz.com/306166/the-divorce-stat-that-just-keeps-cheati...
- baddox 12y ago
  It seems you should have omitted the first sentence.
usaar333 12y ago
For the cohort of HN readers, it is nowhere near that high. See http://www.bls.gov/opub/mlr/2013/article/pdf/marriage-and-divorce-patterns-by-gender-race-and-educational-attainment.pdf http://www.bls.gov/opub/mlr/2013/article/pdf/marriage-and-di... Among folks with college degrees, divorce rate is 31% for those marrying between 23 and 28 and 23% for those marrying between 29 and 34. Those with a masters degree, divorce at ~22%. Even ignoring education and marriage age, only 26% of those who have kids while married (not before married) get divorced: http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr049.pdf http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr049.pdf
- waterlesscloud 12y ago
  1 in 4 chance is still a pretty huge risk considering the consequences.
- prostoalex 12y ago
  Also, the rate counts marriages not people, so serial offenders like this guy http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glynn_Wolfe http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glynn_Wolfe skew the average and require 28 marriages that don't end up in divorce just to even out.
- tomp 12y ago
  It's not the current rate that is important, it's the trend. People marrying today will be getting divorced in 10-20 years; by then, the divorce rate could well be way more than 50%.
therobot24 12y ago
> inability of anyone to accurately predict the future sarcastic response: "sorry hun, we can't get married cause i'm not sure we'll be together forever and i don't want to pay money if we break up." real response: There's risk in everything you do, and if you aren't willing to risk some of your time and equity into another person then you wouldn't do well in a marriage anyway
- colordrops 12y ago
  Most risks that people take, especially with risks of such high probability, don't involve another person visciously working to make your life miserable in and out of a court of law. Romance and taking a leap of faith and all that are just very recent fictions, especially in Asia. Marriage has been a utilitarian tradition since it began. There are lucky people with wonderful loving marriages, but it's completely unrealistic to expect everyone to seek this out at extreme long term risk to livelihood and happiness.

fosk 12y ago

Not to sound insensitive, but here's another way to look at it. At the end of day marriage is like a contract between to persons with expensive "cancellation fees" that you need to consider, exactly like it happens when you sign any other contract during your life. It is very shortsighted to sign a contract without considering every aspect of it, even more considering there is a good chance that things can go wrong. You can still love a person and have a child and give your contributions as a parent without signing a contract, like many people actually do.

andreasvc 12y ago

Taking into account the risks of an enterprise is laudable.

sliverstorm 12y ago
... and anyone that passionately objects to doing so probably aren't that great to be married to? :)