3 ms·

Agree that the read was horrifying based on my family's experience, but we should try to reserve judgement because as males we won't ever have to make quite the

by 727374 12y ago

Agree that the read was horrifying based on my family's experience, but we should try to reserve judgement because as males we won't ever have to make quite the same decision that the author made. I doubt the author "feels her company is more valuable than her child". I think more likely she just wound up in an impossible situation. Also, keep in mind that people can't always perfectly time when a pregnancy will begin/end.

akiselev 12y ago
In addition, if she is a good CEO she probably feels responsible for her employee's well being. They're not her children nor are they helpless infants, but it is another responsibility that each person values differently in her position.
Mz 12y ago
FWIW, I am a woman and I was a full time mom for many years. Here is my comment: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=8732852 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=8732852
- 001sky 12y ago
  This comment touches on an important issue. Hypercompetition at work[1], in other words, leads to local, not globsl maximization. [1] You stop to tie your shoelaces and someone will subtly hint your contributions to the company are in marked decline this quarter. etc
tjradcliffe 12y ago
> as males we won't ever have to make quite the same decision that the author made Millions of men--gay and straight--all over the world take care of their children by themselves, and face exactly the same choices the author does. So why anyone would ever suggest that men don't face these choices or have to make these decisions is entirely unclear. Men are parents too. Many men are single parents. Many married men are as or more involved in care-giving than their partner. We are in a minority, but times change. Fifteen or twenty years ago I was frequently the only man at the pool or the park with small children. Today I'm gratified to see lots of young men--often heavily tattooed and looking like they'd happily go a few rounds with a grizzly bear for fun--out with their wee ones. One day we might even imagine a world were everyone doesn't assume that simply because I'm a man I don't know how to change a diaper or cook a nutritious meal or comfort a crying child. Men are enormously short-changed by this attitude that somehow we aren't and can't ever be the primary care-giver for our children. It diminishes us and limits our choices and pushes our lives into narrow, sterile, avenues.
- HorizonXP 12y ago
  I forgot about this perspective, and I'm glad you described, since it does resonate with me. However, the fact is, we do not have the anatomy required to actually bear children. Everything you identified is certainly true, but there are definitely certain aspects to child bearing that are uniquely female in nature. Those are things that I can do my best to understand, but that's difficult being a male. The parent comment to yours is certainly correct: a pregnant female is in a different position than a male parent. There are certainly parallels and similarities, but some things are unique to a mother.

by 727374 12y ago

akiselev 12y ago

In addition, if she is a good CEO she probably feels responsible for her employee's well being. They're not her children nor are they helpless infants, but it is another responsibility that each person values differently in her position.

Mz 12y ago

FWIW, I am a woman and I was a full time mom for many years. Here is my comment: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=8732852 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=8732852

001sky 12y ago
This comment touches on an important issue. Hypercompetition at work[1], in other words, leads to local, not globsl maximization. [1] You stop to tie your shoelaces and someone will subtly hint your contributions to the company are in marked decline this quarter. etc

tjradcliffe 12y ago

> as males we won't ever have to make quite the same decision that the author made Millions of men--gay and straight--all over the world take care of their children by themselves, and face exactly the same choices the author does. So why anyone would ever suggest that men don't face these choices or have to make these decisions is entirely unclear. Men are parents too. Many men are single parents. Many married men are as or more involved in care-giving than their partner. We are in a minority, but times change. Fifteen or twenty years ago I was frequently the only man at the pool or the park with small children. Today I'm gratified to see lots of young men--often heavily tattooed and looking like they'd happily go a few rounds with a grizzly bear for fun--out with their wee ones. One day we might even imagine a world were everyone doesn't assume that simply because I'm a man I don't know how to change a diaper or cook a nutritious meal or comfort a crying child. Men are enormously short-changed by this attitude that somehow we aren't and can't ever be the primary care-giver for our children. It diminishes us and limits our choices and pushes our lives into narrow, sterile, avenues.

HorizonXP 12y ago
I forgot about this perspective, and I'm glad you described, since it does resonate with me. However, the fact is, we do not have the anatomy required to actually bear children. Everything you identified is certainly true, but there are definitely certain aspects to child bearing that are uniquely female in nature. Those are things that I can do my best to understand, but that's difficult being a male. The parent comment to yours is certainly correct: a pregnant female is in a different position than a male parent. There are certainly parallels and similarities, but some things are unique to a mother.