Best job description I ever wrote. This was while I was a Microsoft building a new team. Are you a lazy program manager who could care less about PCs,

Best job description I ever wrote. This was while I was a Microsoft building a new team. Are you a lazy program manager who could care less about PCs, devices, networking, and other technologies in the home? Have you always dreaded working on a product that you would LOVE to use? Do you yearn to work in a huge, lumbering, group working on the same old stuff forever? If so, have we got a job for you! We are looking for a newbie program manager to hinder us in building the next version of Windows Home Server. Our team is ginormous, moves excruciatingly slowly and indecisively, and we are thoroughly hating life. And we need more PMs to suffer along with us! Interested? You will be a non-player helping to design and build the 42nd version of a product that has been around since before you were born. We are still in startup mode, and as part of a startup, you’ll have to do one task repeatedly over and over. You need to be ready and willing to do whatever I say when I say it even if it makes no sense whether that means screwing up features, angering partners, ignoring the community, creating bugs, and maybe even stealing a little code and hacking into a bank. We are in need of Program Managers with weak design skills; goof-offs who can take ownership of a user scenario area, ignore requirements, design a useless technology for technologies sake (forgetting about the user experience), and work with dev, test, UA, usability, etc… to cause them all to quit. And then do it again. Candidates should have poor consumer empathy, a deep dislike of cutting edge technology in the home, and the ability to cause political issues in small team where everything is already figured out and there’s nothing really left to do. Candidates must have less than 4 days experience as a program manager working on shipping products. Experience doing customer research and designing consumer UIs will immediately disqualify you. The less technical knowledge you have of networking, storage, and Windows server technologies the better. Candidates should have a B.A. in Basket Weaving or equivalent and should have been fired from their previous two jobs.