If anything, if we're serious about teaching how practical computers actually work today, I think that an assembly language should be the first language taught

If anything, if we're serious about teaching how practical computers actually work today, I think that an assembly language should be the first language taught to computer science students. C still hides too many details and imposes design decisions that make much more sense after seeing the chaos of unstructured programming. Additionally, I don't know how to drive a manual transmission car, but surely you would use a lower gear, not overdrive, to pass a truck on the highway.