5 ms·

Pump the brakes, man. If you reach the point where physical violence is your only resort, let me promise you that, in a business environment, punching somebody

by warcher 12y ago

Pump the brakes, man. If you reach the point where physical violence is your only resort, let me promise you that, in a business environment, punching somebody is only making your personal situation much, much worse. I have been in enough street fights as an adult to recognize that they are a spectacularly risky behavior with zero upside. And are a strong indicator of something being really off in your brain. If you're really conducting yourself in this fashion, and not just barking on the internet, people will hear about it and you will get permanently crossed off lists you didn't even know existed. Don't beat people up, or threaten to beat people up, over business deals. Ever.

spiritplumber 12y ago
I agree with you - like I said, I've never started a fight in my adult life. And I don't threaten to beat people up; that's for the weak; I tell people up front "If you are dishonest with me, you will not hear from my lawyer; I will kick your ass there and then". It speaks to the reptilian brain, and unfortunately, it's all some people (especially "mean people") listen to - which is my main point here. That said, I have two close friends whose relationship I started with by being punched in the face and punching back. A punch is communication, sometimes (I would argue that a knife lunge, or a bullet, are not - they have permanent consequences). We are humans. Humans, especially men, have an instinct for violence. If you can let it out by knuckles, and go home with just a black eye - it's a lot better than letting things fester and escalate, and up stabbed, shot, or having your life ruined by a bureaucracy. Like I said, I'm a honest person. I've spent six months designing a critical part of a power plant on a handshake. I've had the pleasure of dealing with people who've done stuff like that on a much larger scale (think oilfields). I just never again want to deal with people who think that they're better than their word. As far as blacklists go... they're for other people. The space around me? Blacklist free zone. I've let two meth junkies into my home, live there for a year, put them through what rehab I could manage. One is clean and back in school, the other is mostly clean and working (min wage, but better than nothing). They had been "blacklisted" by a good chunk of society (yay being trans, eh), even by their own families. I don't do blacklists. And I don't let others do it to me. (You know the "rejection rejection letter" joke that floats around? I've done something like that once. It was fun and a bit of science got done because of it.) How do I enforce this? With my hands and with my head, same as everyone else. They're the greatest weapons in the universe, BECAUSE they're the opposite of weapons 99% of the time, it's what you make stuff with. Maybe I'm telling the truth and maybe I'm just being an internet tough guy. If you care to know, do science to it, think.
- jacalata 12y ago
  > I don't threaten to beat people up; that's for the weak; I tell people up front "If you are dishonest with me, you will not hear from my lawyer; I will kick your ass there and then". What do you think you're doing if not threatening to beat them up? I wouldn't tell you anything in response but I'd try and get out of a business relationship with you ASAP. It makes you sound unstable, unpredictable, not worth it.
  - deleted 12y ago
    [deleted]
  - spiritplumber 12y ago
    FWIW, that's how one of my closest friends feels about this - he believes I shouldn't post my opinions on HN in the first place, and just build rep by writing comments that go with the local milieu. What good would that do to the discussion, though? Read, think, make up your mind, beware echo chambers. If you think I'm unpredictable, thank you! If you think I'm unstable and not worth it, it's your right to. My track record should speak for itself for those who know me, and for those who don't, I'm just one more random poster on a forum.
    - Malician 12y ago
      I'm not the strongest person. I probably don't have the ability to beat your face in if you welsh on a deal, and if you go nuts I'm at a bit of a disadvantage. I do have one attribute, though. I can say "no" to someone who tries to intimidate me. The worst relationships are those with a threat on the table you're not quite sure about. I'd rather call the threat in and deal with the consequences than live with a sword hanging over my neck. Life is too short for that crap.
    - jacalata 12y ago
      I have no idea what you mean. Your friend thinks you shouldn't threaten people, or that you shouldn't tell HN that you threaten people?

by warcher 12y ago

spiritplumber 12y ago

I agree with you - like I said, I've never started a fight in my adult life. And I don't threaten to beat people up; that's for the weak; I tell people up front "If you are dishonest with me, you will not hear from my lawyer; I will kick your ass there and then". It speaks to the reptilian brain, and unfortunately, it's all some people (especially "mean people") listen to - which is my main point here. That said, I have two close friends whose relationship I started with by being punched in the face and punching back. A punch is communication, sometimes (I would argue that a knife lunge, or a bullet, are not - they have permanent consequences). We are humans. Humans, especially men, have an instinct for violence. If you can let it out by knuckles, and go home with just a black eye - it's a lot better than letting things fester and escalate, and up stabbed, shot, or having your life ruined by a bureaucracy. Like I said, I'm a honest person. I've spent six months designing a critical part of a power plant on a handshake. I've had the pleasure of dealing with people who've done stuff like that on a much larger scale (think oilfields). I just never again want to deal with people who think that they're better than their word. As far as blacklists go... they're for other people. The space around me? Blacklist free zone. I've let two meth junkies into my home, live there for a year, put them through what rehab I could manage. One is clean and back in school, the other is mostly clean and working (min wage, but better than nothing). They had been "blacklisted" by a good chunk of society (yay being trans, eh), even by their own families. I don't do blacklists. And I don't let others do it to me. (You know the "rejection rejection letter" joke that floats around? I've done something like that once. It was fun and a bit of science got done because of it.) How do I enforce this? With my hands and with my head, same as everyone else. They're the greatest weapons in the universe, BECAUSE they're the opposite of weapons 99% of the time, it's what you make stuff with. Maybe I'm telling the truth and maybe I'm just being an internet tough guy. If you care to know, do science to it, think.

jacalata 12y ago
> I don't threaten to beat people up; that's for the weak; I tell people up front "If you are dishonest with me, you will not hear from my lawyer; I will kick your ass there and then". What do you think you're doing if not threatening to beat them up? I wouldn't tell you anything in response but I'd try and get out of a business relationship with you ASAP. It makes you sound unstable, unpredictable, not worth it.
- deleted 12y ago
  [deleted]
- spiritplumber 12y ago
  FWIW, that's how one of my closest friends feels about this - he believes I shouldn't post my opinions on HN in the first place, and just build rep by writing comments that go with the local milieu. What good would that do to the discussion, though? Read, think, make up your mind, beware echo chambers. If you think I'm unpredictable, thank you! If you think I'm unstable and not worth it, it's your right to. My track record should speak for itself for those who know me, and for those who don't, I'm just one more random poster on a forum.
  - Malician 12y ago
    I'm not the strongest person. I probably don't have the ability to beat your face in if you welsh on a deal, and if you go nuts I'm at a bit of a disadvantage. I do have one attribute, though. I can say "no" to someone who tries to intimidate me. The worst relationships are those with a threat on the table you're not quite sure about. I'd rather call the threat in and deal with the consequences than live with a sword hanging over my neck. Life is too short for that crap.
  - jacalata 12y ago
    I have no idea what you mean. Your friend thinks you shouldn't threaten people, or that you shouldn't tell HN that you threaten people?