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I'm not trying to be a jerk, but how many friends you do or don't have is entirely up to you. I'm an introvert and it is tough meeting people. I'm not saying i

I'm not trying to be a jerk, but how many friends you do or don't have is entirely up to you. I'm an introvert and it is tough meeting people. I'm not saying it is easy to move out of your comfort zone, but it is necessary. If you want to be more social and have more friends, then make conscious effort be more social and make more friends.

fixedd 12y ago
... says the non-married person who doesn't have full-time kids.
- im2w1l 12y ago
  Become friends with your kids' friends' parents.
- bequanna 12y ago
  For the record, I am happily married with no kids. Just to be clear, both of those things are choices one makes, not excuses to be made.
  - fixedd 12y ago
    I don't know why I was being quite so aggressive when I wrote that. I'm sorry... I think I was taking frustration out on you when you had nothing to do with it. I still disagree with the assertion that "how many friends you do or don't have is entirely up to you". It may be true in some extremely narrow sense, but if it came down to it how many people would give up the spouse they love because they were the problem, or their children because they were, or drop everything and move to where people were more similar to themselves?
Dewie 12y ago
> I'm not trying to be a jerk, but how many friends you do or don't have is entirely up to you. Right, because someone with no friends probably have never thought or believed that it is their own fault for being shy/uninteresting/boring (and that they're shy/uninteresting/boring in part because ... they have no friends). It has probably never crossed their mind at all. > I'm an introvert and it is tough meeting people. I'm not saying it is easy to move out of your comfort zone, but it is necessary. If you want to be more social and have more friends, then make conscious effort be more social and make more friends. In order to be social, you need to try to be social. Right.
- joncrocks 12y ago
  I think what he's saying (which I kinda agree with) is that you have to treat it as actually something that you have to work at, rather than it coming naturally. So he's not saying that you 'have to try and be social', he's saying 'work at it'. That means doing things that you may not want to do right now, to pay-off later.
  - Dewie 12y ago
    > I think what he's saying (which I kinda agree with) is that you have to treat it as actually something that you have to work at, rather than it coming naturally. Who believes that there are any alternatives? Shy people and people with social anxiety (etc.) don't have a reputation for spontaneously becoming outgoing and so on.

fixedd 12y ago

... says the non-married person who doesn't have full-time kids.

im2w1l 12y ago
Become friends with your kids' friends' parents.
bequanna 12y ago
For the record, I am happily married with no kids. Just to be clear, both of those things are choices one makes, not excuses to be made.
- fixedd 12y ago
  I don't know why I was being quite so aggressive when I wrote that. I'm sorry... I think I was taking frustration out on you when you had nothing to do with it. I still disagree with the assertion that "how many friends you do or don't have is entirely up to you". It may be true in some extremely narrow sense, but if it came down to it how many people would give up the spouse they love because they were the problem, or their children because they were, or drop everything and move to where people were more similar to themselves?

Dewie 12y ago

> I'm not trying to be a jerk, but how many friends you do or don't have is entirely up to you. Right, because someone with no friends probably have never thought or believed that it is their own fault for being shy/uninteresting/boring (and that they're shy/uninteresting/boring in part because ... they have no friends). It has probably never crossed their mind at all. > I'm an introvert and it is tough meeting people. I'm not saying it is easy to move out of your comfort zone, but it is necessary. If you want to be more social and have more friends, then make conscious effort be more social and make more friends. In order to be social, you need to try to be social. Right.

joncrocks 12y ago
I think what he's saying (which I kinda agree with) is that you have to treat it as actually something that you have to work at, rather than it coming naturally. So he's not saying that you 'have to try and be social', he's saying 'work at it'. That means doing things that you may not want to do right now, to pay-off later.
- Dewie 12y ago
  > I think what he's saying (which I kinda agree with) is that you have to treat it as actually something that you have to work at, rather than it coming naturally. Who believes that there are any alternatives? Shy people and people with social anxiety (etc.) don't have a reputation for spontaneously becoming outgoing and so on.