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What's the best way to deal with something like this as a friend of someone with something remarkably similar? I have a close friend who's always going to see

What's the best way to deal with something like this as a friend of someone with something remarkably similar? I have a close friend who's always going to see specialists with some ailment or another. One of the things he has is low magnesium and zinc just like this author. He's also suffered from bouts of unexplained amnesia (is that where the author got the name for his blog from? If so maybe they actually have the same thing!?). His sleep schedule is completely screwed to the extent that i hardly see him and he never gets sunlight. He has serotonin and dopamine issues. I actually checked the blog in detail to make sure it's not the same person. It isn't. Just a weird coincidence. He's never been diagnosed with anything specific either. Like the friends of this guy in this story I honestly do suspect he is lazy. I see him playing 100+ hours a week on his steam profile and he plays more than just steam games. He's currently well into his 30's and he's missing out on life. I actually don't know what to do. I honestly feel that tough love would help him more than anything. In this article this guy says his friends keep him up saying “You need to force yourself to have a better sleep schedule.”. I'm tempted to do the same for my friend to try and get him into a sensible sleep schedule. I guess that's wrong but i can completely understand it. Leaving it at status quo is unacceptable in my opinion. Even with a disability he's still not making the most of life - the ridiculous sleep schedule where he never see's the sun has to stop. Giving him time to sort his shit out doesn't work. He's been like that for 15 years now.

javajosh 12y ago
How another person lives his life is fundamentally his decision, and it is not your responsibility to fix him. Your frustration with him is your problem, not his. At first blush, I would recommend either accept him or walk away, for your benefit and his.
- c23gooey 12y ago
  Sounds a bit harsh, i think the OP is looking for advice on how to deal with it. Saying accept it or walk away is not really adding to the conversation. My suggestion would be to start to talk to your friend about how you feel about his/her situation. Try and get an understanding of just how they are feeling. Dont just come into a conversation with all your advice ready to go because it will make your friend back off. Be prepared to spend sometime to get to understand the underlying causes behind his/her need to shut down and not live life. There are probably some deep seated fears and stresses which are causing him/her to be this way. Walking away and just turning a blind eye to them is not going to help anyone.
- AReallyGoodName 12y ago
  That's such a bullshit thing to say. We're talking about someone who literally won't survive unless they change their behavior. He's unemployed, has no government benefits available to him and those around him aren't going to support him forever.
amalcon 12y ago
So, I'm going to assume we're talking about a real condition here. This is because that's the first thing you can do: believe your friend when he tells you he's sick. He probably has doctors, family members, and peers constantly not believing him. Just having someone not question it can help a lot. Second, you can't force him to change his life around. If someone honestly believes something beyond their capacity (physical or mental), you're not going to be able to coax, reason, berate, intimidate, or threaten them into doing it. What you can do is inspire them. Give them a reason to wake up just a little sooner, like a shared activity that you both enjoy. "Let's have a match of <X game> before I go to bed tomorrow", or maybe "I'm making X for dinner, I'll make extra for you if you're up". Try something like that. Small steps are best to start with. Trying to force someone in a big step will probably cause a panic reaction. A confrontational approach will probably do the same thing. A panic reaction is not what you want.

javajosh 12y ago

How another person lives his life is fundamentally his decision, and it is not your responsibility to fix him. Your frustration with him is your problem, not his. At first blush, I would recommend either accept him or walk away, for your benefit and his.

c23gooey 12y ago
Sounds a bit harsh, i think the OP is looking for advice on how to deal with it. Saying accept it or walk away is not really adding to the conversation. My suggestion would be to start to talk to your friend about how you feel about his/her situation. Try and get an understanding of just how they are feeling. Dont just come into a conversation with all your advice ready to go because it will make your friend back off. Be prepared to spend sometime to get to understand the underlying causes behind his/her need to shut down and not live life. There are probably some deep seated fears and stresses which are causing him/her to be this way. Walking away and just turning a blind eye to them is not going to help anyone.
AReallyGoodName 12y ago
That's such a bullshit thing to say. We're talking about someone who literally won't survive unless they change their behavior. He's unemployed, has no government benefits available to him and those around him aren't going to support him forever.

amalcon 12y ago

So, I'm going to assume we're talking about a real condition here. This is because that's the first thing you can do: believe your friend when he tells you he's sick. He probably has doctors, family members, and peers constantly not believing him. Just having someone not question it can help a lot. Second, you can't force him to change his life around. If someone honestly believes something beyond their capacity (physical or mental), you're not going to be able to coax, reason, berate, intimidate, or threaten them into doing it. What you can do is inspire them. Give them a reason to wake up just a little sooner, like a shared activity that you both enjoy. "Let's have a match of <X game> before I go to bed tomorrow", or maybe "I'm making X for dinner, I'll make extra for you if you're up". Try something like that. Small steps are best to start with. Trying to force someone in a big step will probably cause a panic reaction. A confrontational approach will probably do the same thing. A panic reaction is not what you want.