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I know this sounds harsh, but you seem to lack self control which I can emphatize with. After all, I've spent nights where "one more thing" has kept me up till

I know this sounds harsh, but you seem to lack self control which I can emphatize with. After all, I've spent nights where "one more thing" has kept me up till early in the morning. I don't have the end all be all advice on the topic, but you might just need some people looking out for you. If you choose to play, play on a small server where you know people, and people know that you are struggling to pace yourself. If you're feeling guilty about playing, don't. Building huge structures you aren't proud of doesn't do you any good. If you're playing compulsively, but you're not enjoying it, it might help to shut it out entirely. Deinstall your client, give your account to a friend, block imgur, reddit and facebook, and forget they ever existed. Sometimes that doesn't solve your problem though, it only creates a void in your life. Empty time is horrid, and we try to fill it up no matter what. Unless you make a conscious effort to fill that void with things you do enjoy, you'll just end up filling it with whatever is convenient. If you don't know what those things are, you might need to do some testing and sampling. Maybe it's contemporary dance or building miniature railways or helping people learn to code that you'll stumble across and start to really enjoy. Also, if you, in the process of doing that, stumble across something you absolutely love, but tell yourself that it isn't productive or important, you've got problems with who you think you should be. You might be telling yourself you'll be happy if you're the guy in the 10,000$ suit sitting in his blacked out tesla, whilst you just stumbled over the fact you might be happier if you're the guy that's sitting in his basement watching tiny trains go on laps. If you think that that will make your parents or friends or whoever you care about think of you less, what business do they have of deciding what makes you happy? They shouldn't have a stake in whether you're gay or straight, who you fall in love with, whether you want children or not, and certainly not in whether you get to lead a fulfilled life or not. Anyways, I'm just drawing this from similar struggles I've been having, and maybe some of these points will help you crack out of whatever problem you're having. Honestly, I can't either say that I have implemented everything I'm preaching here, but it seems like a step in the right direction for me.

themedstudetn 12y ago
If nothing else I found this helpful so thanks for typing it
rthomas6 12y ago
Another technique is to make empty time less horrid, which in turn reduces the need to immediately fill it, which in turn allows you to choose better activities instead of scrambling for what is the quickest and easiest distraction. Empty time doesn't have to be a void in your life. If you can't sit alone and do nothing for an hour without a lot of anguish, that indicates some internal turmoil. Eliminating the feeling of emptiness during empty time is freeing, because in my experience it lowers the bar for your own contentment. While living, instead of worrying about meeting your needs for present gratification AND productivity of an action, you usually only have to think about the second, because you know you'll be fine, and even happy, regardless of the "fun" of the action you choose, as long as the action seems rewarding in the long run. This is easier said than done, but I've found some success in being content in the present through reading up on both mindfulness practices and Stoicism. A lot of people have found success through mindfulness meditation specifically (so check that out), but I've found it more useful for me to mindfully and meditatively carry out mundane tasks, such as dishes, instead of sitting meditation.
- solistice 12y ago
  I'm certainly plagued by some internal turmoil, and I feel free to admit that. I'm at an uncertain period in my life, and I do not know whether I will be sucessful at achieving any of my goals. My past record has been littered by public failures, and successes noone close to me wants to recognize. I've failed at getting 3 businesses started, my academic track record is meager at best, and whilst I consider myself intelligent, I do not know whether I'll be able to perform as expected in college, which is what I'm looking at right now. I have trouble moderating myself, and even though I've spent the last couple of years working on my skillset, I'm not sure whether that will cut it for what I want to do in life. I'm struggling with the amount of social expectations that I'm being handed. For one I have friends who expect me to do great things, and they are on track to do great things. I also expect myself to do great things. They're all in college now, I'm not. One kid I helped with bio homework back when I was in 9th grade and he was in 11th grade now studies Biomedical Engineering at Columbia University. There's another former classmate at NYU who I'm helping with physics and programming problems, and he looks up to me as an example. Can't say that about myself. But then, if you look at the way I've been performing, you'd expect me to fail in a spectacular manner. C student from the get go, then after changing schools oscialating wildly from getting straight As and straight Fs. Only student in the entire school that managed to get on academic probation with a GPA of 3.19. Then I got kicked out of that school as well. I'm not proud of that. I'm not proud of the school I managed to graduate from either. Then college right now. I'm not sure which school I'll even get into. Ideally, I'll get into a respectable school abroad, perform well, finally get to use the skills I've been honing for years, make some money, transfer to one of the schools I was told I should be in, that I could be in if my life wasn't such a mess. That's a long shot though. Then there's the less than rosy but equally possible probability that I'll ascend astronomically for the first semester and crash and burn within semester 2. Get kicked out second year, no job, no degree. My health in the gutter because I overworked myself and couldn't quite cope with the workload. It's quite the conflicting, uncertain situation to be in, and I don't think I'll be any less anxious about it before I figure out how well each of the bridges I've got to cross hold up. They look shoddy, but you never know. I don't think meditation will help me with that.

themedstudetn 12y ago

If nothing else I found this helpful so thanks for typing it

rthomas6 12y ago

Another technique is to make empty time less horrid, which in turn reduces the need to immediately fill it, which in turn allows you to choose better activities instead of scrambling for what is the quickest and easiest distraction. Empty time doesn't have to be a void in your life. If you can't sit alone and do nothing for an hour without a lot of anguish, that indicates some internal turmoil. Eliminating the feeling of emptiness during empty time is freeing, because in my experience it lowers the bar for your own contentment. While living, instead of worrying about meeting your needs for present gratification AND productivity of an action, you usually only have to think about the second, because you know you'll be fine, and even happy, regardless of the "fun" of the action you choose, as long as the action seems rewarding in the long run. This is easier said than done, but I've found some success in being content in the present through reading up on both mindfulness practices and Stoicism. A lot of people have found success through mindfulness meditation specifically (so check that out), but I've found it more useful for me to mindfully and meditatively carry out mundane tasks, such as dishes, instead of sitting meditation.

solistice 12y ago
I'm certainly plagued by some internal turmoil, and I feel free to admit that. I'm at an uncertain period in my life, and I do not know whether I will be sucessful at achieving any of my goals. My past record has been littered by public failures, and successes noone close to me wants to recognize. I've failed at getting 3 businesses started, my academic track record is meager at best, and whilst I consider myself intelligent, I do not know whether I'll be able to perform as expected in college, which is what I'm looking at right now. I have trouble moderating myself, and even though I've spent the last couple of years working on my skillset, I'm not sure whether that will cut it for what I want to do in life. I'm struggling with the amount of social expectations that I'm being handed. For one I have friends who expect me to do great things, and they are on track to do great things. I also expect myself to do great things. They're all in college now, I'm not. One kid I helped with bio homework back when I was in 9th grade and he was in 11th grade now studies Biomedical Engineering at Columbia University. There's another former classmate at NYU who I'm helping with physics and programming problems, and he looks up to me as an example. Can't say that about myself. But then, if you look at the way I've been performing, you'd expect me to fail in a spectacular manner. C student from the get go, then after changing schools oscialating wildly from getting straight As and straight Fs. Only student in the entire school that managed to get on academic probation with a GPA of 3.19. Then I got kicked out of that school as well. I'm not proud of that. I'm not proud of the school I managed to graduate from either. Then college right now. I'm not sure which school I'll even get into. Ideally, I'll get into a respectable school abroad, perform well, finally get to use the skills I've been honing for years, make some money, transfer to one of the schools I was told I should be in, that I could be in if my life wasn't such a mess. That's a long shot though. Then there's the less than rosy but equally possible probability that I'll ascend astronomically for the first semester and crash and burn within semester 2. Get kicked out second year, no job, no degree. My health in the gutter because I overworked myself and couldn't quite cope with the workload. It's quite the conflicting, uncertain situation to be in, and I don't think I'll be any less anxious about it before I figure out how well each of the bridges I've got to cross hold up. They look shoddy, but you never know. I don't think meditation will help me with that.