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Ask HN: how would you help a person to choose an occupation?

• run4yourlives 17y ago
  You can't do anything. I know that's not the answer you want to hear, but it's the correct answer. People aren't truly happy until they are following a passion. For many people, passion isn't profitable; or at least not as profitable as they feel it should be. Your friend has a few things to discover. First, the passion. This is step one. Without this, life will always be a void of meaningless motions. You can't help here. He must find it on his own. About the only thing you can do is encourage him to try anything and everything until he finds this passion. It might take a while. He must not stop until he finds it. If he's wondering if he's found it, he hasn't. Once that happens, he has a choice to make. Find a way to turn his passion into profit, or failing that, find something that he is content doing to sustain himself so that he can pursue the passion. It isn't often that your passion is lucrative. In many cases, it actually costs you money. There must be a "second calling" that he can use to fund the passion. Again, you find this out by trying many things, and only by actually trying many things. Most people never find their passion. The things that people asked them they would be when they grew up are either long forgotten or inconceivable. I will tell you that they are not - they're simply unrealized. Sure, you may not be able to play QB for the 49ers, but there are modifications of this passion that can be expressed. You must follow this lead if you are to be happy. Passions also change throughout life. I for example, am completely passionate about my sons. I've gladly supplanted some of my previous passions to spend more time shaping these two people. We make these choices from time to time in life, and that's okay. A personal journey though is exactly that. It's not something that you can really contribute to aside from encouraging. You in fact must realize that the journey itself may not align with your own, at least temporarily. You can't use faith/religion to solve scientific problems, so don't expect to use math to solve emotional/spiritual ones. Your heart is in the right place, but this is his path to take.
  • snitko 17y ago
    Thanks for your answer. And for the "Passion", it is the word I kept in mind and wanted to mention instead of occupation.
    • run4yourlives 17y ago
      No problem. Just remember that in order to be "found" you must first be "lost". Meaning that there is going to be a period - perhaps extended - where he is going to need to bounce from activity to activity, searching for his path. Most people do this while they are young, because the older they get, the harder it becomes. That being said, there is only so much time on this earth... I don't know about you but I'd prefer to live it in a happy state for as long as I have left!
• stonemetal 17y ago
  >hates his job and wants to change his life Last time I checked there was a difference between your job and your life. If he hates his job then fine he can change that but if he hates his life(which I would assume since he wants to change it) then changing jobs is lip stick on a pig. Perhaps he just needs a new hobby? >The problem is, he does not really know what could that be and feels completely lost. Well when completely lost the first thing to do is stop moving and figure out where you are. Put together a list of skills everything from tying his shoes to painting the mona lisa(and perhaps rate them from good to bad). Figure out how he feels about the skills he does have. Use these to determine things he finds interesting. Now attempt to do these things in a non commited manner but with an eye towards doing it professionally(don't play video games and then say I am going to be a game developer). Be wary of new car smell(something seems good because it is new and exciting.) Talk to people who actually do it about their experiences. From here make larger investments in the field: training, credentials needed etc.
  • snitko 17y ago
    When saying hates his hob I actually meant life as well, because a big part of our lives consist of our work, right? Anyway, I'm pretty sure he does not need a hobby, he needs a passion. Switching jobs, without knowing what your passion is, is useless, as it does not make your new job any better than the previous one. And thanks for the steps you listed, that's helpful.
    • stonemetal 17y ago
      Passion as a job is a funny thing it can kill your passion for something. I used to program in every spare moment now that I program at work 10+ hrs a day, my hobby coding has pretty much died on the vine. Passion is good but beware of to much of a good thing.
      • snitko 17y ago
        Yes, that is correct. I'm sure everyone had had this feeling with his job at least once. But still, somehow we manage to roll this over, right? Like for example we start our own businesses - to make our passion have a sensible aim, so that it would matter again. Or maybe just having a timeout helps. Anyway, I think it's way better to have a passion you're tired of, than not having one at all.
• anigbrowl 17y ago
  What does he like to do with his spare money/time? What he enjoys most as a consumer is a good guide to what he'd like to be working on. Don't be intimidated, you might have to beat down reasons for why X isn't realistic. People were telling me what I wanted to do >10 years before I realized it myself and I didn't believe them. So maybe he loves golf but he's crap at it, bought a set of clubs once and they've been gathering dust since. On further inquiry it emerges that what he really loves is designing imaginary golf courses that would challenge even Tiger Woods, and he should be pursuing a career in landscaping.
• charliepark 17y ago
  This might work better for a tech- / web-oriented person, but it's certainly worth trying. I would encourage him to start a blog, with no set agenda about what he writes about, but with a goal to write for 30 minutes a day about whatever he's interested in, or to link to articles / videos / other blog posts that deal with things he thinks are interesting. Then, after a month, to look back, and to see what common themes emerge. It might take some creativity to then morph that into a job, and if he doesn't have sufficient motivation to explore all of this without your help, there might be little you can do, but I think your interest in helping him is commendable, and I hope you're able to help him find a good path.
• pavel_lishin 17y ago
  Can he afford to go back to school?
  • snitko 17y ago
    Personally I don't believe that traditional schooling is the best way to learn anything. Especially if you're 25. I don't like universities, I don't like being assessed by teachers and I don't encourage positive attitude towards schooling in others. I know this is controversial point, so please let's not make a flame out of it.
    • pavel_lishin 17y ago
      You have a few good points. Most of the things I learned wasn't from class; it was in my spare time. I hardly use anything covered in classes in my day to day work. However, college was invaluable in making connections, making friends, finding like-minded people, etc., etc. Also, whether you believe in it or not, you're not the one who's trying to find a way out of a rut. Traditional schooling might work for your friend.