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My Parents generation talk of "mid-life crisis". Generation Y started to write on "quarter-life crisis" (post college moving back in with parents due to no work

by lbotos 12y ago

My Parents generation talk of "mid-life crisis". Generation Y started to write on "quarter-life crisis" (post college moving back in with parents due to no work). I suspect this kid will suffer from "eighth-life crisis" if he keeps this pace up. I was doing generally nerdy things at 5 but I fear this kid will outpace himself in a way that will lead to sadness and isolation. Tech parents of HN, do you think this will help or hurt this young man in the long run?

pconner 12y ago
How could this cause any sort of long-term hurt to the kid? It's not like young kids with technical skills become "child stars" like young actors or musicians.
- lbotos 12y ago
  Acceleration in any form always begets an increased risk of crashing and burning.
  - pconner 12y ago
    Is there any non-anecdotal evidence for this?
bentcorner 12y ago
His father seems engaged in his future and the boy is enjoying the experience. I fail to see how that will hurt him in the long run. Really though, there's almost no context so it's hard to tell either way.
thearn4 12y ago
This would be my worry too, because I've seen it in a few others. Eventually, they make it to a place (top tier college, big name company, etc) where they are no longer consistently the smartest person in the room, and they are unable to cope with the sudden competition that poses.
- mnw21cam 12y ago
  I remember the first lecture at undergrad university, at a very highly rated university, was basically "You're no longer the smartest kid in the class, and some of you will start to think we made a mistake letting you in to this course. We don't make that kind of mistake."
DanBC 12y ago
Parents should remember to praise effort and notjust good results. Parents should teach and model good habits - it feels weird to be talking about work / life balance for a five year old but he'll be attending primary school all day so it's probably important to be teaching him how to make and maintain friendships, as well as giving him time and support for his hobbies. I certainly don't think publicity is a good idea. That just puts a weird skew and makes it hard to manage expectations for later life.
ef4 12y ago
> Tech parents of HN, do you think this will help or hurt this young man in the long run? We don't have any information on the factors that actually matter. If he is intrinsically motivated to do what he's done, and not just doing it to please his parents, he will be fine. As long as he's free to move onto something new when/if the excitement wanes, it's all just good learning experience. This is one reason it's important that parents praise "doing" over "being". If you keep telling your kid "You're so good at computers", that becomes part of their identity, and it's constraining, and it creates dangerous assumptions that ability is fixed and innate. If instead we praise activity and persistence, the child feels free to switch topics, and learns to view ability as the product of practice.
warfangle 12y ago
> "eighth-life crisis" You mean puberty?

by lbotos 12y ago

pconner 12y ago

How could this cause any sort of long-term hurt to the kid? It's not like young kids with technical skills become "child stars" like young actors or musicians.

lbotos 12y ago
Acceleration in any form always begets an increased risk of crashing and burning.
- pconner 12y ago
  Is there any non-anecdotal evidence for this?

bentcorner 12y ago

His father seems engaged in his future and the boy is enjoying the experience. I fail to see how that will hurt him in the long run. Really though, there's almost no context so it's hard to tell either way.

thearn4 12y ago

This would be my worry too, because I've seen it in a few others. Eventually, they make it to a place (top tier college, big name company, etc) where they are no longer consistently the smartest person in the room, and they are unable to cope with the sudden competition that poses.

mnw21cam 12y ago
I remember the first lecture at undergrad university, at a very highly rated university, was basically "You're no longer the smartest kid in the class, and some of you will start to think we made a mistake letting you in to this course. We don't make that kind of mistake."

DanBC 12y ago

Parents should remember to praise effort and notjust good results. Parents should teach and model good habits - it feels weird to be talking about work / life balance for a five year old but he'll be attending primary school all day so it's probably important to be teaching him how to make and maintain friendships, as well as giving him time and support for his hobbies. I certainly don't think publicity is a good idea. That just puts a weird skew and makes it hard to manage expectations for later life.

ef4 12y ago

> Tech parents of HN, do you think this will help or hurt this young man in the long run? We don't have any information on the factors that actually matter. If he is intrinsically motivated to do what he's done, and not just doing it to please his parents, he will be fine. As long as he's free to move onto something new when/if the excitement wanes, it's all just good learning experience. This is one reason it's important that parents praise "doing" over "being". If you keep telling your kid "You're so good at computers", that becomes part of their identity, and it's constraining, and it creates dangerous assumptions that ability is fixed and innate. If instead we praise activity and persistence, the child feels free to switch topics, and learns to view ability as the product of practice.

warfangle 12y ago

> "eighth-life crisis" You mean puberty?