7 ms·

I want so badly to leave college. It's very difficult to stomach the $20k it's costing my parents. I'm not having fun. I'm not making many connections. I'm not

I want so badly to leave college. It's very difficult to stomach the $20k it's costing my parents. I'm not having fun. I'm not making many connections. I'm not learning much in the classroom at all. I feel unchallenged, I feel bored, but the worst of it is I know I could be working harder somewhere else, and learning more in the process. I should have had the foresight to know the interest I had in highschool for programming was not going to be shared by all of my classmates. I should have taken a year off and grown a bit. I should have tried to take a chance and get an apprenticeship for some startup and see where that took me first. But really, I (like many HN readers, I'm sure) come from a conservative upper middle class town. College for the most part WASN'T a decision. It was a step. And I wish I had the sense to realize that it didn't have to be. I WANT to be working my ass off. I'm 20 years old. If I'm not working as hard as I can now, what will I really be able to produce at the age of 40? I have one youth. I look around at everyone and their pacifiying drug use. And truly, I was looking forward to partying coming into college, but I grew bored of it in a single semester. It wasn't any different than highschool, just drinking and smoking with kids I barely know and didn't really care for. Reminds me of the underlying feeling in the Great Gatsby; you can be lonely together at many of these parties. I want to be like Nick at the end of it, I want to damn it all to hell, and go move far away to focus on myself and my career. I'm only in my third semester and I consider it a mistake. I can't imagine it getting much better, I've taken most all of my CS classes and now I'll just be taking random classes completely unrelated to my major to get a piece of paper. I'm discontent with the slow flow of learning that college creates. I feel constrained, and that bugs the hell out of me.

drivers99 12y ago
I was going to say, you might be exposed to more things in higher CS classes, but it sounds like you've already taken them up front. That's impressive. If I might be so presumptive as to give advice, can I suggest talking to your advisor about exactly what you said. I'm sure there is a way to get more out of your college experience for the remaining time.
aaron-lebo 12y ago
You are obviously driven. But you are also just 20, you don't have to be working as hard as you can (or don't have to be doing so in a job). You do just have one youth, as you said, and the truth is once you get a job and have demands, you won't have the freedom that college allows, and you might miss it. You can either realize that you will be spending the rest of your adult life after college working and take it easy on yourself for the next couple of years, or you can use that extra time you have to work really hard on learning things you won't be able to devote yourself to after college. Either is understandable and acceptable. As much as college sucks sometimes, it will be good to have that piece of paper to fall back on, and to have finished something, and you can have an opportunity to use your time now if you look at it this way. Best of luck.
hackuser 12y ago
Sorry to hear you are not having a good time. In any case, college is what you make of it; it might sound obnoxious but if it's boring, that's on you. Challenge yourself by taking more challenging classes, by going deeper than the professor requires in your current classes; take graduate level classes, arrange research or independent study with a professor. Learn new fields to diversify yourself, or to learn about the world -- get a double major in Chinese, Indian history, literature, experimental psychology. Access to the amount of expertise around you, with the availability to talk to you, will never happen again. They won't have time for you, and worse you won't have time for them. > I'm only in my third semester ... I've taken most all of my CS classes and now I'll just be taking random classes completely unrelated to my major to get a piece of paper. You are in your third semester and have almost completed your major? In computer science? Wow. There is so much more you could learn!
espitia 12y ago
I felt the way you're feeling not too long ago. I'm open to talk to you if you want, shoot me an email ge.espitia@gmail.com.
thatswrong0 12y ago
I felt the same way. Just remember that it's those other people who are wasting their time in college. It doesn't have to be you. Start pushing yourself now and you'll come out way ahead of your classmates. And make sure to go out of your way to find those few classmates who actually give a shit about learning. I didn't do that and regret it now. And you're only 3 semesters in. I doubt you're out of CS classes to take. Take the ridiculously hard CS classes that no one else wants to. Take graduate level courses. And enjoy the random classes completely unrelated to your major, you never know when they'll be useful to you. My favorite class in college was an American history class and I was a CS major. Who cares? It was a great class and I feel all the more educated for it. You shouldn't just be there to take CS.
buckbova 12y ago
Do you not get along with your classmates? Is it possible you are not embracing this experience? Work your ass off while in college. Sounds like you are not taking any initiative here. Right now I bet you have tons of free time. Use it to better yourself in ALL ways. Exercise. Read. Get out there and meet people.
genwin 12y ago
If you're convinced you can make better use of your time without college, quit! You could see what the market offers for your current skills, then decide. Work your ass off at enjoying yourself too.
cafard 12y ago
A couple of options occur to me: 1. Don't take random classes. My two main regrets from college are not taking more classes in foreign languages, and not taking more math. You may well know more of either at this point than I did, but it can't hurt you to know more. There are other whole fields as well that you might find interest you. If you've done the math, then why not physics or chemistry? If you've done the languages, then a well-chosen history class might be enlightening. 2. You could take a year off, particularly if you can find a programming job that suits you.
FiatLuxDave 12y ago
The first thing to realize is that the constraints you are feeling are mere social convention, and you don't have to follow most of them. Just because your peers are smoking up and chilling out doesn't mean that you have to do the same thing. It's your life, and your choices. Other people do play into it: you're still gonna want your friends and family to be happy with you, but you don't have to be the same as everyone else for them to be happy. They would probably be happier seeing you be your best self. The second thing to realize is that there is no shortage of work to be done in this world, merely a shortage of money and motivation to aim towards that work. If you can't find something to aim towards, you aren't exposing yourself enough yet to the real problems that need solving. College can be good for that - wait for the moments in class when a prof says "and no one knows how this works yet" or "someday someone will figure out how to do this and make a million". Then go deep on that problem. You may not solve it, but you'll develop real skills like you want to. Thirdly, work and school are not a mutually exclusive choice. Yes, your parents will be unhappy if they think you are failing out, and may put up resistance to the idea of a job interfering with your schooling. But it sounds like you are in need of more challenge, not less, and you should be able to spin an internship, job, or project as a good career move to your parents. You do only have one youth. You should enjoy it. But good work can leave you with just as many good memories as partying it up. Don't be a slave, but don't be a zombie either. Find someone with a similar mindset and go do something cool. BTW, I started my first startup when I was your age, while in college. My partner dropped out of school to work on it, but I stayed in while working. It was hard. My profs would get mad at me for getting Cs when they knew I was capable of As. But I learned so much more. The Cs didn't really affect my career. Finishing my degree did, and the learning definitely did.

drivers99 12y ago

I was going to say, you might be exposed to more things in higher CS classes, but it sounds like you've already taken them up front. That's impressive. If I might be so presumptive as to give advice, can I suggest talking to your advisor about exactly what you said. I'm sure there is a way to get more out of your college experience for the remaining time.

aaron-lebo 12y ago

You are obviously driven. But you are also just 20, you don't have to be working as hard as you can (or don't have to be doing so in a job). You do just have one youth, as you said, and the truth is once you get a job and have demands, you won't have the freedom that college allows, and you might miss it. You can either realize that you will be spending the rest of your adult life after college working and take it easy on yourself for the next couple of years, or you can use that extra time you have to work really hard on learning things you won't be able to devote yourself to after college. Either is understandable and acceptable. As much as college sucks sometimes, it will be good to have that piece of paper to fall back on, and to have finished something, and you can have an opportunity to use your time now if you look at it this way. Best of luck.

hackuser 12y ago

Sorry to hear you are not having a good time. In any case, college is what you make of it; it might sound obnoxious but if it's boring, that's on you. Challenge yourself by taking more challenging classes, by going deeper than the professor requires in your current classes; take graduate level classes, arrange research or independent study with a professor. Learn new fields to diversify yourself, or to learn about the world -- get a double major in Chinese, Indian history, literature, experimental psychology. Access to the amount of expertise around you, with the availability to talk to you, will never happen again. They won't have time for you, and worse you won't have time for them. > I'm only in my third semester ... I've taken most all of my CS classes and now I'll just be taking random classes completely unrelated to my major to get a piece of paper. You are in your third semester and have almost completed your major? In computer science? Wow. There is so much more you could learn!

espitia 12y ago

I felt the way you're feeling not too long ago. I'm open to talk to you if you want, shoot me an email ge.espitia@gmail.com.

thatswrong0 12y ago

I felt the same way. Just remember that it's those other people who are wasting their time in college. It doesn't have to be you. Start pushing yourself now and you'll come out way ahead of your classmates. And make sure to go out of your way to find those few classmates who actually give a shit about learning. I didn't do that and regret it now. And you're only 3 semesters in. I doubt you're out of CS classes to take. Take the ridiculously hard CS classes that no one else wants to. Take graduate level courses. And enjoy the random classes completely unrelated to your major, you never know when they'll be useful to you. My favorite class in college was an American history class and I was a CS major. Who cares? It was a great class and I feel all the more educated for it. You shouldn't just be there to take CS.

buckbova 12y ago

Do you not get along with your classmates? Is it possible you are not embracing this experience? Work your ass off while in college. Sounds like you are not taking any initiative here. Right now I bet you have tons of free time. Use it to better yourself in ALL ways. Exercise. Read. Get out there and meet people.

genwin 12y ago

If you're convinced you can make better use of your time without college, quit! You could see what the market offers for your current skills, then decide. Work your ass off at enjoying yourself too.

cafard 12y ago

A couple of options occur to me: 1. Don't take random classes. My two main regrets from college are not taking more classes in foreign languages, and not taking more math. You may well know more of either at this point than I did, but it can't hurt you to know more. There are other whole fields as well that you might find interest you. If you've done the math, then why not physics or chemistry? If you've done the languages, then a well-chosen history class might be enlightening. 2. You could take a year off, particularly if you can find a programming job that suits you.

FiatLuxDave 12y ago

The first thing to realize is that the constraints you are feeling are mere social convention, and you don't have to follow most of them. Just because your peers are smoking up and chilling out doesn't mean that you have to do the same thing. It's your life, and your choices. Other people do play into it: you're still gonna want your friends and family to be happy with you, but you don't have to be the same as everyone else for them to be happy. They would probably be happier seeing you be your best self. The second thing to realize is that there is no shortage of work to be done in this world, merely a shortage of money and motivation to aim towards that work. If you can't find something to aim towards, you aren't exposing yourself enough yet to the real problems that need solving. College can be good for that - wait for the moments in class when a prof says "and no one knows how this works yet" or "someday someone will figure out how to do this and make a million". Then go deep on that problem. You may not solve it, but you'll develop real skills like you want to. Thirdly, work and school are not a mutually exclusive choice. Yes, your parents will be unhappy if they think you are failing out, and may put up resistance to the idea of a job interfering with your schooling. But it sounds like you are in need of more challenge, not less, and you should be able to spin an internship, job, or project as a good career move to your parents. You do only have one youth. You should enjoy it. But good work can leave you with just as many good memories as partying it up. Don't be a slave, but don't be a zombie either. Find someone with a similar mindset and go do something cool. BTW, I started my first startup when I was your age, while in college. My partner dropped out of school to work on it, but I stayed in while working. It was hard. My profs would get mad at me for getting Cs when they knew I was capable of As. But I learned so much more. The Cs didn't really affect my career. Finishing my degree did, and the learning definitely did.