I don't think the main problem is what sort of praise these kids are being given. I remember being told, at a seminar on exactly this sort of thing, that more

I don't think the main problem is what sort of praise these kids are being given. I remember being told, at a seminar on exactly this sort of thing, that more than half of students entering high school here (Australia) still did not understand fractions. The high school curriculum then steamrollers on to try and teach these kids about algebra, calculus, trigonometry. Not once do we stop to check that the students grasp the prerequisites necessary to understand the material, rather than just faking enough to get 50% on a test. Is it surprising that people develop learned helplessness about mathematics?