You've put words in my mouth and then battered a straw man; if something is "staggering" it is quite serious/severe. A rephrasing might be "no, you won't go to

You've put words in my mouth and then battered a straw man; if something is "staggering" it is quite serious/severe. A rephrasing might be "no, you won't go to prison, but will be made miserable via other methods."