That's somewhat of a heartbreaking story. I wonder if your mind was calmed during those two years because you had found your calling and were happy with your s

That's somewhat of a heartbreaking story. I wonder if your mind was calmed during those two years because you had found your calling and were happy with your situation, for the first and only time in your life? I'm not suggesting you change your life now, btw. Maybe you are, for whatever reason, unable to engage in things which you are not fully committed to.