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You mention your outlook on life changed, would you mind elaborating on this? What influence has this altered outlook had on your life and goals? Speaking from

You mention your outlook on life changed, would you mind elaborating on this? What influence has this altered outlook had on your life and goals? Speaking from personal experience, my use of psychedelics has profoundly realigned my goals. One of my earliest goals was to become a clinical psychologist. I like people and I like how they tick, but my first use of LSD caused a reevaluation on that. I hate giving advice that gets ignored, and I was entering a profession where this is the majority of what happens. You have to be nice and calm and keep repeating steps until people finally get the picture and listen to you. Not only was that not for me, but I didn't even want to stay where I lived. It not only made me reevaluate my goals but my perception of risk. I wanted to travel and visit friends I had made online, so I did. I was 18 and did it alone, friends said I was insane for taking such a "risk". I'm now living in a different country (continent too) and married to one of those friends I visited. Recently I took a strong dose of magic mushrooms and it had an unusual response. Normally I experience what I call uber-Ego. It's a solipstic euphoria where I feel like I'm God and my subconscious created everything to entertain me. However, this time it felt like something dealt a death blow to my soul. This last time, I realized I hated my life. I live in an urban area, which I hate. I'm a country boy, I always wanted to live in the country. Now with a 18 month old, I'm dealing with hating the life he has and is going to have. Me and my wife are never home because cost of living is so high. I see my son between 5pm and 7pm on weeknights, so does my wife. He spends almost 5/6ths of his waking time with other people. We're now planning on selling up and moving to the country where her family lives. Within a couple years we can quarter our living expenses, which would put our costs low enough that I could be a career writer - something I gave up because I had to pay exorbitant expenses to hate my life. This last time made me depressed, and I still feel it. I've been working almost every night from when my kid goes to bed until I do on writing. I don't think the mushrooms made me depressed, not one bit. I think the mushrooms made me bypass my superego that was blocking me from seeing my wants whilst catering to my needs. I definitely changed personality wise afterward, but I know I had been annoyed and angry for months for reasons I couldn't explain, and in hindsight I'd been annoyed ever since we put our son into daycare.

Raphmedia 12y ago
My outlook of life changed in many ways, but I find myself more aware of the world around me and I'm, I think, more cynical. More tired too. Everything feels like a chore. If I don't focus on myself, I let my hygiene go more than I usually would. I am a monkey, living in a capitalist dream... or nightmare. But all of this is the left over from the depression. I feel I am a more loving person. Empathy was a skill that I severely lacked before. I can connect more easily with people now.
- electromagnetic 12y ago
  I once read a theory that depression is an adaptive mechanism linked with neural plasticity and our bodies way to relearn how to behave under drastically changed circumstances. Think, the most common causes for depression are serious loss. I lost one of my pets and it was crushing, even though it really wasn't a significant life, it was a pet I cared for every single day. That actually lead me to buying a house, I literally couldn't deal with the fact that in an apartment I had to garbage can something I loved and couldn't bury it in a grave. When my childhood dog passed away, I hadn't seen it in three years as I'd moved continent. It was sad, but it didn't alter my life in any way. > I am a monkey, living in a capitalist dream... or nightmare. It sounds like you underwent a major paradigm shift, which could be the cause of your depression. Personally I've found myself far less hateful. I can empathise with anyone and everything when I want to (which is a super-bonus for the writer in me). Like the shooting in Ottawa, I found myself feeling sorry for the shooter and his family as much or more than the victim. They're going to receive a lot of unfair attention and treatment, only because the guy was a convert to Islam and no one's going to pay attention to the grievous failures of the system that at every stage of failure could have potentially stopped this event ever being a possibility. Maybe instead of kicking a crack addict who didn't know how to get the right help, had been helped we wouldn't have two dead and lives torn apart. My mind never once thought that way before I used psychedelics. I was intelligent, but my ability to project my understanding onto others was all but non-existent.

Raphmedia 12y ago

My outlook of life changed in many ways, but I find myself more aware of the world around me and I'm, I think, more cynical. More tired too. Everything feels like a chore. If I don't focus on myself, I let my hygiene go more than I usually would. I am a monkey, living in a capitalist dream... or nightmare. But all of this is the left over from the depression. I feel I am a more loving person. Empathy was a skill that I severely lacked before. I can connect more easily with people now.

electromagnetic 12y ago
I once read a theory that depression is an adaptive mechanism linked with neural plasticity and our bodies way to relearn how to behave under drastically changed circumstances. Think, the most common causes for depression are serious loss. I lost one of my pets and it was crushing, even though it really wasn't a significant life, it was a pet I cared for every single day. That actually lead me to buying a house, I literally couldn't deal with the fact that in an apartment I had to garbage can something I loved and couldn't bury it in a grave. When my childhood dog passed away, I hadn't seen it in three years as I'd moved continent. It was sad, but it didn't alter my life in any way. > I am a monkey, living in a capitalist dream... or nightmare. It sounds like you underwent a major paradigm shift, which could be the cause of your depression. Personally I've found myself far less hateful. I can empathise with anyone and everything when I want to (which is a super-bonus for the writer in me). Like the shooting in Ottawa, I found myself feeling sorry for the shooter and his family as much or more than the victim. They're going to receive a lot of unfair attention and treatment, only because the guy was a convert to Islam and no one's going to pay attention to the grievous failures of the system that at every stage of failure could have potentially stopped this event ever being a possibility. Maybe instead of kicking a crack addict who didn't know how to get the right help, had been helped we wouldn't have two dead and lives torn apart. My mind never once thought that way before I used psychedelics. I was intelligent, but my ability to project my understanding onto others was all but non-existent.