It's weird. There once was a time where, if you were gay, or were close to people who were, you'd pick up hints about others who were gay. These hints would c

It's weird. There once was a time where, if you were gay, or were close to people who were, you'd pick up hints about others who were gay. These hints would come from others who were gay, or gay-friendly. And they would be passed along like that. As you moved closer to circles of power, you'd know more and more powerful people who were gay. But there was a code: you didn't bring it up publicly, or with outsiders. (Unless you wanted to be cruel.) With this knowledge came power. You could read people and situations, understand hints and special relationships. It's a kind of x-ray vision. But, if you were not gay, and were not close to people who were, you would be completely unaware. You might assume you didn't know anyone who was gay! Such people were surprised when Rock Hudson (who everyone knew) was outed as gay just before he died of AIDS in 1985. They were surprised when other public figures were outed the same way, even (seriously!) "obvious" cases like Liberace. We are now somewhere between that world (which was complex and had fascinating intrigues) and a different world (which is more open and fairer). Source: before I met my wife, I didn't know anyone who was gay. But in fact, I was just ignorant that I already did.