3 ms·

Retrospective analysis is important; is regret? Is it crucial to have the emotional distress that comes with rational evaluation of past choices? Does negative

by polarix 12y ago

Retrospective analysis is important; is regret? Is it crucial to have the emotional distress that comes with rational evaluation of past choices? Does negative emotional reinforcement really work at such long time remove?

hawkice 12y ago
> Does negative emotional reinforcement really work at such long time remove? So, I don't know about regret specifically, but when researchers asked people to remember instances where they felt specific emotions, and asked how strongly the emotions reoccurred during that process, the number one emotion was embarrassment. Some theorize that fear of embarrassment driven by memories of making mistakes is one of the leading factors in the fluency gap between the first and second languages of children to foreign parents (who speak English [or the language of their peers] much better than their parents native language, even when their parents don't speak English at all -- somewhat odd considering children _need_ to communicate with their parents to survive and get basic needs met).
gumby 12y ago
It does, at least for me. There are things I have said, or have failed to do, which act as spurs to me even decades later. Without the emotional distress I would probably forget. I don't see it as pathological -- it's not like I sit in my room sobbing over past failures. But I still feel regret and as a result am (I think) a better person.
ewzimm 12y ago
No, I think regret is just the other side of paranoia. It's a lack of ability (not necessarily capacity, most likely due to emotional distress) to think through the full consequences of a situation and the opportunities it presents. When you're paranoid, you're worried about a bad situation without thinking through the ways you could respond to it or fix it if it does happen. If you have planned through what you will do if the worst happens, there's no way to be paranoid about it. Similarly, it's hard to regret something if you've learned from it and recognize that you never would have learned that lesson if it hadn't happened the way it did. Growth is motivated by responding to problems, not responding to everything going well.

by polarix 12y ago

hawkice 12y ago

> Does negative emotional reinforcement really work at such long time remove? So, I don't know about regret specifically, but when researchers asked people to remember instances where they felt specific emotions, and asked how strongly the emotions reoccurred during that process, the number one emotion was embarrassment. Some theorize that fear of embarrassment driven by memories of making mistakes is one of the leading factors in the fluency gap between the first and second languages of children to foreign parents (who speak English [or the language of their peers] much better than their parents native language, even when their parents don't speak English at all -- somewhat odd considering children _need_ to communicate with their parents to survive and get basic needs met).

gumby 12y ago

It does, at least for me. There are things I have said, or have failed to do, which act as spurs to me even decades later. Without the emotional distress I would probably forget. I don't see it as pathological -- it's not like I sit in my room sobbing over past failures. But I still feel regret and as a result am (I think) a better person.

ewzimm 12y ago

No, I think regret is just the other side of paranoia. It's a lack of ability (not necessarily capacity, most likely due to emotional distress) to think through the full consequences of a situation and the opportunities it presents. When you're paranoid, you're worried about a bad situation without thinking through the ways you could respond to it or fix it if it does happen. If you have planned through what you will do if the worst happens, there's no way to be paranoid about it. Similarly, it's hard to regret something if you've learned from it and recognize that you never would have learned that lesson if it hadn't happened the way it did. Growth is motivated by responding to problems, not responding to everything going well.