I'm a Very Important Person! I park as a V.I.P. And when I go to the bathroom... I go in the V.I.P toilet. And when I wanna change a lightbulb... I do

I'm a Very Important Person! I park as a V.I.P. And when I go to the bathroom... I go in the V.I.P toilet. And when I wanna change a lightbulb... I don't do it myself... Ohh no... I have a technician! 'cause I'm a V.I.P. Now, as I began to become a V.I.P... I forgot what i've become a V.I.P for I began to grow accustomed to people saying: "Right this way sir...drinks are on the house..." Flight attendants on airplanes saying: "Please... Really, I don't wanna bother you sir, but it's such a pleasure to have you on board. May I have your autograph... for my... daughter?" "Yeah baby right after I go to the toilet. I'll give you a couple of 'em! 'cause I'm a V.I.P!" Now, one thing about V.I.P is, they never seem to be alone. Oh no. The "true" V.I.P must travel with an entourage! People who say "Right on boss" 'cause it's a V.I.P! Right on boss. As i began to realise that i had gained V.I.P status, worries began to creep in. What if one day, i woke up, and i was no longer a V.I.P ? No more good tables at the restaurants... No more strange women smiling and approaching me on the streets... No more top notch booty! No more entourage to say "Right on boss!" I began to have nightmares And in my nightmares, I was just a fucking nobody. Laying at the beach, imagining myself being a VIP! Just like i was before... Hearing the applause in my head Beautiful warm embraces of superior members of the female gender... Of course, when one becomes a V.I.P, one meets other V.I.Ps at social occasions... And one inevitably thinks: "How shallow and crass these people are! They're not down to earth and real like me... Ohh no! I'm a very special V.I.P" Another interesting phenomenon, associated with V.I.P celebrityhood, is the "V.I.P reflection effect", during which anyone associated with the V.I.P, becomes a sort of V.I.P in their own right. Such as: "son OF the V.I.P", "guitar player FOR the V.I.P", "girlfriend WITH the V.I.P", "accountants of the V.I.P" The maid, the dog, the music publisher... All enjoy a sort of 'reflected glory', as in: "Hi this is Nastea I work for Iggy And i'd like 6 tables tonight in the V.I.P section And he needs passes for everyone And free drinks of course in the V.I.P area" Right on boss. 'cause i'm a V.I.P. It's also true that when one is a V.I.P, everybody's happy to see you... All the time ! And there's an implicit rule that a V.I.P must never... NEVER Be on a bummer. 'cause everybody expects YOU to make THEIR day And they'll all be on to you if you're in a bad mood. They will "tisk tisk tisk!" and "mur mur mur mur mur mur...", And you will find yourself with the WRONG kind of attention: A *DIFFICULT* V.I.P. Psychologists tell us that a sense of self-esteem is so necessary in today's world. As a V.I.P, I can guarantee you... You'll never be alone.