Although basic and lacking a bit in depth, the book I found most helpful when transitioning from confrontation to questioning was "Demystifying Counseling" by A

Although basic and lacking a bit in depth, the book I found most helpful when transitioning from confrontation to questioning was "Demystifying Counseling" by Arlene King. It's short, clearly written and jargon-free. Most therapy manuals are awful though - and so much of my progress since then has been helped along by reading bios or analysis's of the greats in the field, and adapting their methods to match my personality. It's very much an art and not a science - and my progress has been determined as much by my self-knowledge and the strength of the integration between my conception of life and my practice as my knowledge of specific methods of inquiry. So all that to say I don't have much - although you've motivated me to look around for it. Feel free to drop me a line so I can share when I find something.