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I used to use words like "introvert" and "extrovert" to explain why someone eases into social graces so much better than myself. At some point in my life I real

I used to use words like "introvert" and "extrovert" to explain why someone eases into social graces so much better than myself. At some point in my life I realized that socializing, while maybe more intuitive to some, is a _skill_ you get better at with time and energy. Just like any other skill, it's extremely draining and takes a while to reach your goals. You can chock it to being an introvert, or you can invest the time it takes to become skilled at socializing so that discomfort is removed.

A_COMPUTER 12y ago
I don't believe that introversion is like sedentary lifestyle, which can be cured through exercise. I have taught myself to socialize, and people tell me I am good at it. But it has never stopped being draining. I just do it because I know it helps me socially and professionally. Discomfort hasn't really been a factor since my mid-thirtiesbut it is still as exhausting. Unlike in my teens I get invited to parties, but I still go home early.
- wastedhours 12y ago
  Exactly, it's not that there's an initial hump of energy loss that you get over and it gets easier, it's the same even with those you've known a long time. However, I've come to realise I spend a lot of time complaining about social interaction draining me, but almost none allowing myself the time to have social interaction and recover afterward.
shostack 12y ago
There is a common misconception that introversion/extroversion is about having social skills or not. Sure there is likely some correlation, but I would consider myself to have decent social skills, and I'm guessing others would as well. Introversion to me is more about how I recharge. If I am interacting with someone else, it takes energy to do so. If I was an extrovert, such an experience might replenish my energy. Instead, I recharge by being alone and solo activities. So when I reference introversion, it was more in regards to how I recharge, not my level of social skills.

A_COMPUTER 12y ago

I don't believe that introversion is like sedentary lifestyle, which can be cured through exercise. I have taught myself to socialize, and people tell me I am good at it. But it has never stopped being draining. I just do it because I know it helps me socially and professionally. Discomfort hasn't really been a factor since my mid-thirtiesbut it is still as exhausting. Unlike in my teens I get invited to parties, but I still go home early.

wastedhours 12y ago
Exactly, it's not that there's an initial hump of energy loss that you get over and it gets easier, it's the same even with those you've known a long time. However, I've come to realise I spend a lot of time complaining about social interaction draining me, but almost none allowing myself the time to have social interaction and recover afterward.

shostack 12y ago

There is a common misconception that introversion/extroversion is about having social skills or not. Sure there is likely some correlation, but I would consider myself to have decent social skills, and I'm guessing others would as well. Introversion to me is more about how I recharge. If I am interacting with someone else, it takes energy to do so. If I was an extrovert, such an experience might replenish my energy. Instead, I recharge by being alone and solo activities. So when I reference introversion, it was more in regards to how I recharge, not my level of social skills.